[Quick Summary: A struggling, small time gun runner tries to trade evidence for a decrease in his upcoming prison time, but is unaware of other wheels in motion.]
Q: Why can an ok script still be a good or great film?
A: I think it lies in the bones, i.e., structure of a script.
Q: How do I get it? Is there a checklist or book I can read?
A: Do you want the shortcut or the long version?
Q: The shortcut! Where's the shortcut??
A: Trick question. There are NO SHORTCUTS. You have to study scripts, i.e., learn to take it apart in order to learn to build one. Dissecting and rebuilding take TIME.
Q: ...How much time? How many scripts?
A: Longer than you think. More than you want to read.*
Q: Give me a hint. What does a script with "good bones" look like?
A: One clue is that the script delivers what it promises,** and HOW it does it.***
For example here, Eddie Coyle is a small fish who is struggling to make it day to day. He is returning to prison soon for driving a truck of stolen goods.
Note how the scene below sets up Eddie's motive ---> Every decision he makes for the rest of the film turns on this motive.
ex. "INT. EDDIE'S HOUSE - DAY
...Eddie goes into the kitchen where his wife, SHEILA, is drying dishes. Eddie washes his hands and dries them on a door towel during the following dialogue.
EDDIE: You didn't say anything to the kids, did you?
SHEILA: About what?
EDDIE: About that trouble there.
SHEILA: No, why would I? (turning) Why?
EDDIE: Well, they were a little funny toward me this morning, I thought.
[He gets something to eat from the refrigerator.]
SHEILA: You're imagining it, Eddie. What do you want for breakfast?
EDDIE: Nothing. I got to go somewhere, meet someone.
SHEILA: All right.
EDDIE: My lawyer, the goddamned harp. He's got oatmeal for brains. If I had time, I'd have someone write up papers for me. Incompetence of counsel, you know. Wouldn't let me take the stand there. I know a feller could do that but he's in the basket.
Sheila turns away from him; she's heard this before.
SHEILA: My mother said she'd move in, take care of the kids while I work.
EDDIE: Work? What the hell are you talking about?
SHEILA: You don't want us to go on welfare, do you?
EDDIE: Look, Sheila.
He gets up, crosses to the sink, puts his arms around her.
EDDIE: Now listen, I'm going to be all right in New Hampshire there. This feller I'm seeing today, he can square it. And then we're getting out of here. (turns her around) Have I ever lied to you? Have I?
SHEILA (he has, but:): I'm not complaining.
Eddie moves over to his wife. She looks around at him. He knows she understands him so well. Caught again."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Even if I am not particularly fond of this script, I can respect it because the structure is rather sound.
The Friends of Eddie Coyle (1973)(8/28/72 draft)
by Paul Monash
From the novel by George V. Higgins
*This screenwriting thing isn't for sissies. I wanted to believe that I'd learn fast and be the exception to the rule. I did not and I was not.
**This is not merely a setup-payoff of plot points.
***Do not be surprised at how much digging this will require to understand. The better the writer, the more seamless it seems.
Monday, October 29, 2018
Monday, October 22, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: Cop Land (1997) - A Bold Bitchy Move; 3-D; Subtext; Tension
[Quick Summary: A sheriff uncovers a dicey coverup in his small New Jersey town, where many NYC cops live.]
I know that this is a story about Freddy, a browbeaten NJ sheriff, who stands up against the citizens of his small town who are staging a big coverup.
(These are not ordinary citizens, but also are corrupt NYC cops.)
But I'd like to focus on a minor character, Rose Donlan, and her bold bitchy move.
Why?
1 - Rose is a good example of a three dimensional character.*
2 - The scene shows us the mundane things that Freddy faces every day vs. the exciting life that Freddy imagines big city NYC cops have. This is a recurring theme.
3 - The subtext is great. ex. Even the trash silently says something to the recipient.
4 - There's tension. Freddy doesn't want to upset the ringleader's wife.
The scene below is a little complex, so let me clarify a few things:
- Freddy's high school crush, Liz, told him that someone has been dumping trash bags in her yard for weeks. He looked in the bags and found the Donlan address.
- Liz is married to Joey, a NYC cop.
- Rose is married to Ray Donlan, the ringleader cop who runs Freddy and the town.
ex. "EXT. DONLAN HOUSE - 31 DALLAS DRIVE - LATE AFTERNOON
The mailbox says: Donlan.
FREDDY STANDS AT THE DOOR OF THE SPLIT LEVEL HOUSE, the soiled phone bill in hand. before him, A BUSTY MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, ROSE DONLAN (46). Hand on hip, she sucks a cigarette. [Questioning potential trash dumper is as exciting as it gets for Freddy.]
ROSE: What if I said I don't know where it came from?
FREDDY: I'd take your word for it, Rose. Um. Is Ray home? [Politics. Ugh.]
ROSE: Taking care of our little visitor. [3-D: She drops information that is important later. There are other things going on besides this trash issue.]
Freddy plays with the envelope in his fingers, letting this cryptic remark hang in the air. Rose stares at the envelope. [Tension & Subtext: She knows he knows.]
ROSE: I get my garbage picked up every Tuesday. [Subtext: I'm innocent.]
FREDDY: Alright. Thanks for your time. [He doesn't even fight it.]
He walks back to the car.
ROSE: You tell Joey to come here and talk to me about it if he thinks I've got no right. [3-D: She can't help herself. She has to tell someone that she's mad at Joey.]
Freddy turns around.
FREDDY: Rose. I want to believe you when you tell me something.
ROSE: Oh you do, do you?
FREDDY: Did you dump these bags or not?
ROSE: This is not a law problem - if you catch my drift. You tell Joey Randone that if he doesn't like my garbage he should stop soiling my sheets. [Subtext: She essentially admits her guilt!]
Rose is miraculously nonchalant - her eyes riveted boldly on Freddy; relishing his discomfort.
FREDDY: Rose, you can't just dump garbage on other people's property. [This is the unglamorous side of the job.]
ROSE: But that glamour boy - he can throw away a woman just like she was garbage and that's okay - is that what you're saying? [Subtext: She admits to more of a relationship than we knew.]
A pause. The phone rings. They stand there.
ROSE: Are you gonna tell Ray about this? [Tension rises.]
Freddy shakes his head. Rose takes a drag of her cigarette. The phone still ringing. She spins around, slamming the door." [Freddy got information, but no satisfaction.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The use of Rose's trash bags was a super-creative way to send a "drop dead" message. Also, we got to see what Freddy is up against.
Cop Land (1997)(shooting script w/revisions, 8/30/96)
by James Mangold
*Three dimensional = My definition is that the character seems to have a real life beyond what we see. He/she is not just there to fill in gaps for the main character.
I know that this is a story about Freddy, a browbeaten NJ sheriff, who stands up against the citizens of his small town who are staging a big coverup.
(These are not ordinary citizens, but also are corrupt NYC cops.)
But I'd like to focus on a minor character, Rose Donlan, and her bold bitchy move.
Why?
1 - Rose is a good example of a three dimensional character.*
2 - The scene shows us the mundane things that Freddy faces every day vs. the exciting life that Freddy imagines big city NYC cops have. This is a recurring theme.
3 - The subtext is great. ex. Even the trash silently says something to the recipient.
4 - There's tension. Freddy doesn't want to upset the ringleader's wife.
The scene below is a little complex, so let me clarify a few things:
- Freddy's high school crush, Liz, told him that someone has been dumping trash bags in her yard for weeks. He looked in the bags and found the Donlan address.
- Liz is married to Joey, a NYC cop.
- Rose is married to Ray Donlan, the ringleader cop who runs Freddy and the town.
ex. "EXT. DONLAN HOUSE - 31 DALLAS DRIVE - LATE AFTERNOON
The mailbox says: Donlan.
FREDDY STANDS AT THE DOOR OF THE SPLIT LEVEL HOUSE, the soiled phone bill in hand. before him, A BUSTY MIDDLE AGED WOMAN, ROSE DONLAN (46). Hand on hip, she sucks a cigarette. [Questioning potential trash dumper is as exciting as it gets for Freddy.]
ROSE: What if I said I don't know where it came from?
FREDDY: I'd take your word for it, Rose. Um. Is Ray home? [Politics. Ugh.]
ROSE: Taking care of our little visitor. [3-D: She drops information that is important later. There are other things going on besides this trash issue.]
Freddy plays with the envelope in his fingers, letting this cryptic remark hang in the air. Rose stares at the envelope. [Tension & Subtext: She knows he knows.]
ROSE: I get my garbage picked up every Tuesday. [Subtext: I'm innocent.]
FREDDY: Alright. Thanks for your time. [He doesn't even fight it.]
He walks back to the car.
ROSE: You tell Joey to come here and talk to me about it if he thinks I've got no right. [3-D: She can't help herself. She has to tell someone that she's mad at Joey.]
Freddy turns around.
FREDDY: Rose. I want to believe you when you tell me something.
ROSE: Oh you do, do you?
FREDDY: Did you dump these bags or not?
ROSE: This is not a law problem - if you catch my drift. You tell Joey Randone that if he doesn't like my garbage he should stop soiling my sheets. [Subtext: She essentially admits her guilt!]
Rose is miraculously nonchalant - her eyes riveted boldly on Freddy; relishing his discomfort.
FREDDY: Rose, you can't just dump garbage on other people's property. [This is the unglamorous side of the job.]
ROSE: But that glamour boy - he can throw away a woman just like she was garbage and that's okay - is that what you're saying? [Subtext: She admits to more of a relationship than we knew.]
A pause. The phone rings. They stand there.
ROSE: Are you gonna tell Ray about this? [Tension rises.]
Freddy shakes his head. Rose takes a drag of her cigarette. The phone still ringing. She spins around, slamming the door." [Freddy got information, but no satisfaction.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The use of Rose's trash bags was a super-creative way to send a "drop dead" message. Also, we got to see what Freddy is up against.
Cop Land (1997)(shooting script w/revisions, 8/30/96)
by James Mangold
*Three dimensional = My definition is that the character seems to have a real life beyond what we see. He/she is not just there to fill in gaps for the main character.
Monday, October 15, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: Living Out Loud (1998) - Creating the Bittersweet Goodbye Moment
[Quick Summary: A lonely, divorced nurse and the lonely, divorced elevator man meet at a difficult time, but want different things in a relationship.]
****WARNING: ENDING SPOILERS AHEAD****
How do you create a satisfying ending when the couple does not end up together?
I think it is the quality of the setup and payoff.
SETUP
In this story, Pat starts to fall in love with Judith and wants to spend time together.
She is frank with him: I don't know if this is a good idea and I don't want to hurt you.
He is equally up front: Anything could happen. I'm ok with that, if you are.
As time passes, their dreams are coming true: Judith is now in pediatric nursing. Pat will be flying to Italy to start a business importing olive oil.
The only question left is their relationship. Unfortunately, they want different things.
PAYOFF
The scene below is near the end of Act 3.
Pat is flying to Italy for the first time and wants Judith to go. She puts him off.
Then she talks about her single, available friend Donna.
Notice how this is the bittersweet goodbye that neither of them saw coming.
ex. "INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
...As Judith looks through her bag for the number, we can see Pat registering very clearly what she is doing. The look of someone who saw it coming - but is nevertheless stung by the pain. Judith hands him a piece of paper.
PAT: Thanks.
Judith sees his face. They exchange a look and know what they are doing.
PAT: It bothered you didn't it? What I did? What I was?
JUDITH: No...Not at all... Pat...I..I can never thank you enough.
PAT (trying to understand): It's because you got alot ahead of you, right? Alot of things you have to do?
JUDITH: That's just it, I don't know what's ahead of me. But I...I don't think I'll be able to see it, if...if I have someone standing in front of me.
Pat considers this and nods. Then jokes;
PAT: What if I stand behind you?
Judith laughs, gratefully...Pat smiles...
PAT: No...really. It's OK..I..I always knew this...was... (fighting breaking down) I always knew...deep down..I just forgot, you know..I'm like..one episode in your life. You're the kind of woman that has many in a lifetime. That's why you stand out. I got a little greedy, that's all. As usual, ha..I wanted to make it a long one..And I don't say that to make you feel bad or anything. I just want you to know I understand. No one's to blame...
Judith nods gratefully, tears forming. Pat tries to smiles.
PAT: You have beautiful things ahead of you. See, I always thought that - when I'd look at you. I was just waiting for you to catch on.
Judith leans her head into the nape of his neck and kisses him, resting their for a moment. Pat dies inside but;
PAT: It's gonna be terrific. You wait and see. You wait and see..
He holds her. He wishes they could stay like that forever. Then,
PAT: Look, I..uh...I'm gonna go, OK? I...
Judith lifts her head. She suddenly doesn't want him to go. But knows it would be wrong to say so. She nods.
PAT: Why don't I..uh..give you a call when you get back..when I get back from uh..Italy and uh..ya know..catch up..OK?
JUDITH: Yeah. Well, when Liz and I get our place I'll call Philly with the number so that when you get back from Italy..ya know..
Pat smiles. He knows neither will call the other. But he's grateful for the life. He leans in and kisses her cheek. He rises and exits. Judith sits alone."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The setup begins when Judith essentially asks Pat, "Do you want to jump into a relationship? It could hurt."
They payoff was bittersweet: It was bitter because it did hurt, but it was sweet because the journey was worth it.
Living Out Loud (1998)(originally titled "The Kiss"; 9/4/96 interim draft)
by Richard LaGravenese
****WARNING: ENDING SPOILERS AHEAD****
How do you create a satisfying ending when the couple does not end up together?
I think it is the quality of the setup and payoff.
SETUP
In this story, Pat starts to fall in love with Judith and wants to spend time together.
She is frank with him: I don't know if this is a good idea and I don't want to hurt you.
He is equally up front: Anything could happen. I'm ok with that, if you are.
As time passes, their dreams are coming true: Judith is now in pediatric nursing. Pat will be flying to Italy to start a business importing olive oil.
The only question left is their relationship. Unfortunately, they want different things.
PAYOFF
The scene below is near the end of Act 3.
Pat is flying to Italy for the first time and wants Judith to go. She puts him off.
Then she talks about her single, available friend Donna.
Notice how this is the bittersweet goodbye that neither of them saw coming.
ex. "INT. RESTAURANT - NIGHT
...As Judith looks through her bag for the number, we can see Pat registering very clearly what she is doing. The look of someone who saw it coming - but is nevertheless stung by the pain. Judith hands him a piece of paper.
PAT: Thanks.
Judith sees his face. They exchange a look and know what they are doing.
PAT: It bothered you didn't it? What I did? What I was?
JUDITH: No...Not at all... Pat...I..I can never thank you enough.
PAT (trying to understand): It's because you got alot ahead of you, right? Alot of things you have to do?
JUDITH: That's just it, I don't know what's ahead of me. But I...I don't think I'll be able to see it, if...if I have someone standing in front of me.
Pat considers this and nods. Then jokes;
PAT: What if I stand behind you?
Judith laughs, gratefully...Pat smiles...
PAT: No...really. It's OK..I..I always knew this...was... (fighting breaking down) I always knew...deep down..I just forgot, you know..I'm like..one episode in your life. You're the kind of woman that has many in a lifetime. That's why you stand out. I got a little greedy, that's all. As usual, ha..I wanted to make it a long one..And I don't say that to make you feel bad or anything. I just want you to know I understand. No one's to blame...
Judith nods gratefully, tears forming. Pat tries to smiles.
PAT: You have beautiful things ahead of you. See, I always thought that - when I'd look at you. I was just waiting for you to catch on.
Judith leans her head into the nape of his neck and kisses him, resting their for a moment. Pat dies inside but;
PAT: It's gonna be terrific. You wait and see. You wait and see..
He holds her. He wishes they could stay like that forever. Then,
PAT: Look, I..uh...I'm gonna go, OK? I...
Judith lifts her head. She suddenly doesn't want him to go. But knows it would be wrong to say so. She nods.
PAT: Why don't I..uh..give you a call when you get back..when I get back from uh..Italy and uh..ya know..catch up..OK?
JUDITH: Yeah. Well, when Liz and I get our place I'll call Philly with the number so that when you get back from Italy..ya know..
Pat smiles. He knows neither will call the other. But he's grateful for the life. He leans in and kisses her cheek. He rises and exits. Judith sits alone."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The setup begins when Judith essentially asks Pat, "Do you want to jump into a relationship? It could hurt."
They payoff was bittersweet: It was bitter because it did hurt, but it was sweet because the journey was worth it.
Living Out Loud (1998)(originally titled "The Kiss"; 9/4/96 interim draft)
by Richard LaGravenese
Monday, October 8, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: The General's Daughter (1999) - A Moment of Emotional Risk
[Quick Summary: A detective for the military CID investigates the obscene, very public death of a respected female captain, who is also the general's daughter.]
CON: I have a few issues with this script.
PRO: However, on the page, it is an excellent visceral read.
What makes this a compelling thriller to read, despite its flaws?
One thing that struck me was the protagonist (Brenner) was constantly putting himself in physical, emotional, and career jeopardy to find the truth. He took risks.
I liked the example below because it does several things:
- White takes a surprisingly fun, and emotional, risk.
- It's a great "meet cute" scene that slides in a lot of information about her.
- Because he met her in person, it explains White's personal motive to find her killer.
In the scene below:
- White is doing a horrible job at fixing his flat tire.
- Ann Campbell, the soon-to-be-victim, stops to help. She is an army Captain.
ex. "EXT. FORT MACCULLUM - DAY
...it's a few minutes later -- she's finishing up. Her movements fast and skilled.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: So how long have you taught at mechanic's school?
LT. WHITE: I work at the Armory -- just been there a few weeks. And you never let up, do you?
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL (head shake): This is just heaven -- y'see, in the Army, all the capital G Guys say we can't keep up, we're too weak.
LT. WHITE: Obviously, you don't believe that.
ANN CAMPBELL. CLOSE UP. She looks at White a moment. Then --
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Physically, there may be a point, but mentally, we're much tougher. For example, I would never betray you -- (looks at White now) -- but if I slept with you, if I told you how wonderful and strong you were, hell, you'd betray anyone.
WHITE, considering this.
LT. WHITE: I hope that's a proposition, Captain.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Just theory, Lieutenant.
LT. WHITE: LT. WHITE: Damn.
She stands, brushes herself off.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: That should do it. (starts off) Luck to you.
LT. WHITE: You probably run Mechanic's school.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Psyops.
He doesn't get it.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Psychological Operations. I teach there.
LT. WHITE: What do you teach?
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL (getting into her car): Mostly, we fuck with people's minds.
And she flashes her wonderful smile, waves, drives off.
White stands looking after her.
LT. WHITE (softly): Thanks..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene made a fictional world a little more real to me.
I'd rather see a moment of humor or emotional risk, i.e., relationship stuff, more than a constant stream of plot -- plot -- plot -- plot, which is boring and not real.
The General's Daughter (1999)(11/19/97 draft)
by Christopher Bertolini and William Goldman
Based on the novel by Nelson DeMille
CON: I have a few issues with this script.
PRO: However, on the page, it is an excellent visceral read.
What makes this a compelling thriller to read, despite its flaws?
One thing that struck me was the protagonist (Brenner) was constantly putting himself in physical, emotional, and career jeopardy to find the truth. He took risks.
I liked the example below because it does several things:
- White takes a surprisingly fun, and emotional, risk.
- It's a great "meet cute" scene that slides in a lot of information about her.
- Because he met her in person, it explains White's personal motive to find her killer.
In the scene below:
- White is doing a horrible job at fixing his flat tire.
- Ann Campbell, the soon-to-be-victim, stops to help. She is an army Captain.
ex. "EXT. FORT MACCULLUM - DAY
...it's a few minutes later -- she's finishing up. Her movements fast and skilled.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: So how long have you taught at mechanic's school?
LT. WHITE: I work at the Armory -- just been there a few weeks. And you never let up, do you?
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL (head shake): This is just heaven -- y'see, in the Army, all the capital G Guys say we can't keep up, we're too weak.
LT. WHITE: Obviously, you don't believe that.
ANN CAMPBELL. CLOSE UP. She looks at White a moment. Then --
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Physically, there may be a point, but mentally, we're much tougher. For example, I would never betray you -- (looks at White now) -- but if I slept with you, if I told you how wonderful and strong you were, hell, you'd betray anyone.
WHITE, considering this.
LT. WHITE: I hope that's a proposition, Captain.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Just theory, Lieutenant.
LT. WHITE: LT. WHITE: Damn.
She stands, brushes herself off.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: That should do it. (starts off) Luck to you.
LT. WHITE: You probably run Mechanic's school.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Psyops.
He doesn't get it.
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL: Psychological Operations. I teach there.
LT. WHITE: What do you teach?
CAPTAIN CAMPBELL (getting into her car): Mostly, we fuck with people's minds.
And she flashes her wonderful smile, waves, drives off.
White stands looking after her.
LT. WHITE (softly): Thanks..."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene made a fictional world a little more real to me.
I'd rather see a moment of humor or emotional risk, i.e., relationship stuff, more than a constant stream of plot -- plot -- plot -- plot, which is boring and not real.
The General's Daughter (1999)(11/19/97 draft)
by Christopher Bertolini and William Goldman
Based on the novel by Nelson DeMille
Monday, October 1, 2018
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Ghost & the Darkness (1996) - Musing on a Change from an Earlier Draft
[Quick Summary: In 1898, Tsavo, Africa, two man-eating lions prey on an encampment of bridge workers.]
I usually do not read earlier drafts, but make the occasional exception, ex. whenever I can get my hands on early William Goldman scripts.
Here, I was curious about how much was changed from the earlier to the later draft.
Answer? Not much.
I did wish they had kept a minor thing: the personal conflict between the protagonist (Patterson) and the experienced hunter (Redbeard).
In the final draft, the two men first meet in Tsavo. It was ok, but predictable.
In the earlier draft, they have prior history that is still unsettled. Conflict and tension!
I understand why they didn't keep it, but I thought it made the characters more 3-D.
Here's the scene from the earlier draft:
ex. "REDBEARD'S TENT. Night. He is finished unpacking -- there's not a lot to do, the man travels light. He takes several thick books out of a sack, places them in a pile on the table by his cot. No sound. REDBEARD is facing away from the tent opening.
REDBEARD: I have no secrets, come in.
PATTERSON moves into the opening. He looks at the cot.
PATTERSON: You used to sleep on the floor.
REDBEARD: I used to have more hair.
PATTERSON: Don't you think you went a bit far, calling me "Patton"?
REDBEARD: I was giving you the lead -- Beaumont said you didn't want me here. I wasn't sure you wanted to acknowledge me.
PATTERSON: I don't much -- but you are, so now we have to deal with that reality.
REDBEARD: It shouldn't be so hard. We both want the same thing.
PATTERSON: And what is that?
REDBEARD: Why, the lions, of course.
PATTERSON: I want more, I want you to fail.
REDBEARD: After all these years nothing has changed -- was what I did that terrible? (PATTERSON simply stares at the other man. Finally, REDBEARD turns away) It was. I know it was. Of course it was."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Life is messy. The scene above reflects it well. I wonder if the powers-that-be preferred a neater, less messy version?
The Ghost & the Darkness (1996)(undated; possibly shooting draft)
The Ghost & the Darkness (1996)(3rd draft, Jan., 1994)
by William Goldman
I usually do not read earlier drafts, but make the occasional exception, ex. whenever I can get my hands on early William Goldman scripts.
Here, I was curious about how much was changed from the earlier to the later draft.
Answer? Not much.
I did wish they had kept a minor thing: the personal conflict between the protagonist (Patterson) and the experienced hunter (Redbeard).
In the final draft, the two men first meet in Tsavo. It was ok, but predictable.
In the earlier draft, they have prior history that is still unsettled. Conflict and tension!
I understand why they didn't keep it, but I thought it made the characters more 3-D.
Here's the scene from the earlier draft:
ex. "REDBEARD'S TENT. Night. He is finished unpacking -- there's not a lot to do, the man travels light. He takes several thick books out of a sack, places them in a pile on the table by his cot. No sound. REDBEARD is facing away from the tent opening.
REDBEARD: I have no secrets, come in.
PATTERSON moves into the opening. He looks at the cot.
PATTERSON: You used to sleep on the floor.
REDBEARD: I used to have more hair.
PATTERSON: Don't you think you went a bit far, calling me "Patton"?
REDBEARD: I was giving you the lead -- Beaumont said you didn't want me here. I wasn't sure you wanted to acknowledge me.
PATTERSON: I don't much -- but you are, so now we have to deal with that reality.
REDBEARD: It shouldn't be so hard. We both want the same thing.
PATTERSON: And what is that?
REDBEARD: Why, the lions, of course.
PATTERSON: I want more, I want you to fail.
REDBEARD: After all these years nothing has changed -- was what I did that terrible? (PATTERSON simply stares at the other man. Finally, REDBEARD turns away) It was. I know it was. Of course it was."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Life is messy. The scene above reflects it well. I wonder if the powers-that-be preferred a neater, less messy version?
The Ghost & the Darkness (1996)(undated; possibly shooting draft)
The Ghost & the Darkness (1996)(3rd draft, Jan., 1994)
by William Goldman
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