[Quick Summary: Murphy, a Vietnam war vet, investigates the murder of a Councilwoman with the help of a cutting edge police helicopter, Blue Thunder.]
I was curious to read a Dan O'Bannon script that was unrelated to anything Alien.
It's an ok script. The main character has a serious flaw and there is character development. I did get bored about half way through.
I did like this moment below when a decision has to be made. (Kate is Murphy's girlfriend who has the incriminating videotape.)
ex. INT. KLAC NEWS BUILDING - DAY
There is much activity. They've got a chopper up there broadcasting live the biggest story in the country at this time. Phones are ringing. People are running back and forth. She crosses up to a Security Guard --
KATE: I have a package for Mister Moyers --
SECURITY GUARD: He's very busy --
KATE: I know that. But this is from Frank -- Murphy --
SECURITY GUARD: Lady, there's a crazy man up there in a helicopter -- we got no time for --
The phone at his desk is ringing.
SECURITY GUARD: Just a minute.
As the Guard crosses to the phone, Kate looks around -- hugging her videotape - not knowing what exactly to do next.
ANOTHER ANGLE
As Icelan's buddy, Fletcher -- whom Kate has never seen before -- drifts up with a laid back smile.
FLETCHER: The most dangerous thing in the world is a little man afraid for his job -- (then) I'm Dick Fisher. I'll get that to Tony if you'd like --
As Kate looks at him....
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Make it clear the what two things that the character must choose between. Then leave us at the decision point to increase suspense and tension.
Blue Thunder (1983)(9/30/81 draft)
by Dan O'Bannon, Don Jakoby, Dean Riesner
Monday, March 30, 2020
Monday, March 23, 2020
TODAY'S NUGGET: L'Avventura (The Adventure) (1960) - Showing Disconnection
[Quick Summary: When Anna goes missing, her friend Claudia and boyfriend Sandro search for her and end up falling for each other.]
This is a not a Hollywood three act script and it did not annoy me.
I supposed it is because:
1) It is an European film from the 1960s.
2) These characters are lost and searching for meaning, so I was not surprised when the script meandered as well.
Below is the moment I realized these these characters are disconnected from each other and the situation, i.e., Anna's reaction does not match the situation.
ex. Even before he has a chance to be surprised at the old man's remark, Sandro becomes aware that Anna is laughing. It is not the hysterical laugh that normally might be expected after such a close call. It is, instead a pure and simple laugh, almost a happy one, and leaves both Sandro and Claudia plainly baffled.
CLAUDIA: There's nothing much to laugh at.
SANDRO: And that's what I say, too. We could have all been killed.
Anna looks at them as she continues to laugh.
ANNA: I'm sorry...but I can't help laughing.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When I didn't insist the characters arc in the way that I am used to, I could appreciate what was actually going on, i.e., a story about disconnection.
L'Avventura (1960)
by Michelangelo Antonioni, Elio Bartolini, Tonino Guerra
Translated by Louis Brigante
This is a not a Hollywood three act script and it did not annoy me.
I supposed it is because:
1) It is an European film from the 1960s.
2) These characters are lost and searching for meaning, so I was not surprised when the script meandered as well.
Below is the moment I realized these these characters are disconnected from each other and the situation, i.e., Anna's reaction does not match the situation.
ex. Even before he has a chance to be surprised at the old man's remark, Sandro becomes aware that Anna is laughing. It is not the hysterical laugh that normally might be expected after such a close call. It is, instead a pure and simple laugh, almost a happy one, and leaves both Sandro and Claudia plainly baffled.
CLAUDIA: There's nothing much to laugh at.
SANDRO: And that's what I say, too. We could have all been killed.
Anna looks at them as she continues to laugh.
ANNA: I'm sorry...but I can't help laughing.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When I didn't insist the characters arc in the way that I am used to, I could appreciate what was actually going on, i.e., a story about disconnection.
L'Avventura (1960)
by Michelangelo Antonioni, Elio Bartolini, Tonino Guerra
Translated by Louis Brigante
Tuesday, March 17, 2020
TODAY'S NUGGET: The Greatest (1977) - Ogling Made Funny & Human
[Quick Summary: The story of Muhammad Ali's life to become the Greatest boxer.]
This script was based on a book co-written by Ali, about Ali, for a film starring Ali.
Thus, I'm assuming the script is fairly faithful to the book and reality...which is fine, except I did not get swept up into the story.
However, I did like this funny scene below where Ali gets payback for ogling.
ex. EXT. MIAMI PARK - DAY
The fountain is low enough for small children, which means an adult has to bend way over to reach it. In Ruby's case this bares an area of skin previously covered by the back of her shorts. Cassius, without moving the bike, bends and stretches into a quite unnatural position in order to get a better view of this newly exposed nether region. Somehow sensing this, Ruby turns her head from the fountain so suddenly as to catch him at it. Cassius is flustered, the more so when she actually calls attention to it.
RUBY: Looking at something?
CASSIUS: No, of course not! I mean nothing really. I mean just your...
He can't think of an acceptable word and completes the phrase instead by outlining a human rear end with both of his hands.
RUBY: Anything special about my...?
She finishes the question with the same pantomime.
CASSIUS: No, no, of course not! Nothing special about it at all! (frantically correcting himself) That's not what I mean. What I mean is, yes, there is. Very special.
RUBY: You don't sound at all sure what you mean. (taking bike) Thanks. (indicating fountain) Your turn.
Relieved to be through with that conversation, Cassius bends over to drink. He is so much taller that he has to bend a lot further, causing his own rear contours to stand out, even in his loose running pants. Ruby deliberately assumes the same position he took to inspect her backside and stares at his ostentatiously until, finished drinking, he turns and sees what she's doing.
RUBY: You know what? Yours is pretty special, too.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the script took the time to include a very human, embarrassing moment. It made the myth much more approachable and human
The Greatest (1977)(12/24/76 draft)
by Ring Lardner, Jr.
Based on "The Greatest: My Own Story" by Muhammad Ali, Herbert Muhummad, and Richard Durham
This script was based on a book co-written by Ali, about Ali, for a film starring Ali.
Thus, I'm assuming the script is fairly faithful to the book and reality...which is fine, except I did not get swept up into the story.
However, I did like this funny scene below where Ali gets payback for ogling.
ex. EXT. MIAMI PARK - DAY
The fountain is low enough for small children, which means an adult has to bend way over to reach it. In Ruby's case this bares an area of skin previously covered by the back of her shorts. Cassius, without moving the bike, bends and stretches into a quite unnatural position in order to get a better view of this newly exposed nether region. Somehow sensing this, Ruby turns her head from the fountain so suddenly as to catch him at it. Cassius is flustered, the more so when she actually calls attention to it.
RUBY: Looking at something?
CASSIUS: No, of course not! I mean nothing really. I mean just your...
He can't think of an acceptable word and completes the phrase instead by outlining a human rear end with both of his hands.
RUBY: Anything special about my...?
She finishes the question with the same pantomime.
CASSIUS: No, no, of course not! Nothing special about it at all! (frantically correcting himself) That's not what I mean. What I mean is, yes, there is. Very special.
RUBY: You don't sound at all sure what you mean. (taking bike) Thanks. (indicating fountain) Your turn.
Relieved to be through with that conversation, Cassius bends over to drink. He is so much taller that he has to bend a lot further, causing his own rear contours to stand out, even in his loose running pants. Ruby deliberately assumes the same position he took to inspect her backside and stares at his ostentatiously until, finished drinking, he turns and sees what she's doing.
RUBY: You know what? Yours is pretty special, too.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that the script took the time to include a very human, embarrassing moment. It made the myth much more approachable and human
The Greatest (1977)(12/24/76 draft)
by Ring Lardner, Jr.
Based on "The Greatest: My Own Story" by Muhammad Ali, Herbert Muhummad, and Richard Durham
Monday, March 9, 2020
TODAY'S NUGGET: Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) - WGA Arbitration; Describing "High"
[Quick Summary: Duke, a journalist, and Dr. Gonzo, his attorney, go on a drug fueled trip while covering two events in Las Vegas.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) WGA ARBITRATION: If you ever want to know what a contested arbitration feels like, read the impassioned intros of this book.
2) DESCRIBING "HIGH." I did not like this script, despite the fact that it was exceedingly inventive.
In fact, the writers kept topping themselves with wilder and wilder exploits of Duke and Gonzo...until it became exceedingly repetitive and dull.
However, I thought this was a good description of behavior, i.e., how someone acts when he's high:
ex. INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE -NIGHT
DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR...DUKE TAKING CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Not every story has to have a moral or a message, but I do wish want to be amused or entertained. This did not for me.
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
by Terry Gilliam & Tony Grisoni
Based on the book by Hunter S. Thompson
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) WGA ARBITRATION: If you ever want to know what a contested arbitration feels like, read the impassioned intros of this book.
2) DESCRIBING "HIGH." I did not like this script, despite the fact that it was exceedingly inventive.
In fact, the writers kept topping themselves with wilder and wilder exploits of Duke and Gonzo...until it became exceedingly repetitive and dull.
However, I thought this was a good description of behavior, i.e., how someone acts when he's high:
ex. INT. MINT HOTEL CORRIDOR OUTSIDE THEIR SUITE -NIGHT
DUKE AND GONZO RUN MADLY DOWN THE CORRIDOR...DUKE TAKING CARE NOT TO STEP ON THE PATTERNED PART OF THE CARPET.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Not every story has to have a moral or a message, but I do wish want to be amused or entertained. This did not for me.
Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas (1998)
by Terry Gilliam & Tony Grisoni
Based on the book by Hunter S. Thompson
Monday, March 2, 2020
TODAY'S NUGGET: Young Sherlock Holmes (1985) - Structure is not Formatting or Style; Writing a Hallucination
[Quick Summary: After Young Sherlock Holmes meets Young Watson boarding school, they investigate the murders of several unconnected men.]
This scene below is a particularly good example of 2 craft points:
1) STRUCTURE vs. STYLE vs. FORMAT. I used to think that screenwriting structure was as simple as copying other writer's format and style.
I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to realize that these are NOT structure.
Structure is the skeleton underneath, ex. setups, payoffs, conflict, etc. Here, Bentley has just been hit with a blow dart (setup) and we will see the effect (payoff).
Format is how the page looks and flows, ex. short or long paragraphs, etc. Here, the script reads fast because of the short sentences that increase the pace.
Style is how the writer expresses his way of telling the story (voice), ex. bare bones sentences, phrases, etc. Here, Columbus makes every sentence/phrase a single shot.
2) HALLUCINATIONS. Columbus had to make the hallucinations visible to the audience. Notice how he shows chaos first --> shows the calm reality second.
ex. INT. RESTAURANT
Bentley SITS at a table. AWAITING his dinner.
The waiter delivers a covered, STERLING SILVER TRAY to Bentley's table. Bentley stuffs a CLOTH NAPKIN into the top of his shirt collar. The waiter REMOVES the tray's cover.
A LARGE BARBECUED PHEASANT sits on Bentley's plate. Bentley LICKS his lips. HUNGRY.
Bentley lifts his KNIFE and FORK. Ready to CUT into his dinner.
He brings down his fork. STABBING the pheasant.
The bird COMES TO LIFE! SCREECHING! SNARLING!
Its eyes are VICIOUS. ANGRY. Its sharp beak SNAPS like a dragon. The deadly claws are LONG. the fingernails RAZOR SHARP.
Bentley JUMPS BACK.
The creature LEAPS from the plate! Onto Bentley's CHEST!
The wild bird CLAWS AND PECKS at Bentley's face!
Bentley CRIES OUT! In PAIN!
The bird continues to ATTACK! Its sharp claws RIP APART Bentley's face.
Bentley raises his BLOODIED HANDS. He TEARS the bird from his face. THROWING it onto the floor.
Bentley JUMPS UP. RUNNING to the door.
The restaurant OWNER hurries over to Bentley.
OWNER: Mr. Bobster...What is it? Is something wrong?
Bentley TURNS back to his table.
The bird is no longer ALIVE. It RESTS on the plate. In its original POSITION. CALM. As if it HADN'T MOVED.
Bentley looks at his HANDS. They are CLEAN. No sign of BLOOD. He feels his FACE. UNBLEMISHED. NOT A SCRATCH.
Bentley TURNS. LOOKING around the restaurant.
Everyone STARES at Bentley. CUSTOMERS. WAITERS. Even the COOKS have comes out of the kitchen. Everyone is PUZZLED by his strange outburst.
Bentley STARES. CONFUSED. Was it a HALLUCINATION?
Bentley GRABS his hat and coat. DASHING out of the restaurant. FRIGHTENED.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'd forgotten how boring it is to watch a character experiencing a hallucination. The audience needs to SEE the hallucination too.
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)(rev. draft, 5/25/84)
by Chris Columbus
Based on the characters of Arthur Conan Doyle
This scene below is a particularly good example of 2 craft points:
1) STRUCTURE vs. STYLE vs. FORMAT. I used to think that screenwriting structure was as simple as copying other writer's format and style.
I'm embarrassed to say how long it took me to realize that these are NOT structure.
Structure is the skeleton underneath, ex. setups, payoffs, conflict, etc. Here, Bentley has just been hit with a blow dart (setup) and we will see the effect (payoff).
Format is how the page looks and flows, ex. short or long paragraphs, etc. Here, the script reads fast because of the short sentences that increase the pace.
Style is how the writer expresses his way of telling the story (voice), ex. bare bones sentences, phrases, etc. Here, Columbus makes every sentence/phrase a single shot.
2) HALLUCINATIONS. Columbus had to make the hallucinations visible to the audience. Notice how he shows chaos first --> shows the calm reality second.
ex. INT. RESTAURANT
Bentley SITS at a table. AWAITING his dinner.
The waiter delivers a covered, STERLING SILVER TRAY to Bentley's table. Bentley stuffs a CLOTH NAPKIN into the top of his shirt collar. The waiter REMOVES the tray's cover.
A LARGE BARBECUED PHEASANT sits on Bentley's plate. Bentley LICKS his lips. HUNGRY.
Bentley lifts his KNIFE and FORK. Ready to CUT into his dinner.
He brings down his fork. STABBING the pheasant.
The bird COMES TO LIFE! SCREECHING! SNARLING!
Its eyes are VICIOUS. ANGRY. Its sharp beak SNAPS like a dragon. The deadly claws are LONG. the fingernails RAZOR SHARP.
Bentley JUMPS BACK.
The creature LEAPS from the plate! Onto Bentley's CHEST!
The wild bird CLAWS AND PECKS at Bentley's face!
Bentley CRIES OUT! In PAIN!
The bird continues to ATTACK! Its sharp claws RIP APART Bentley's face.
Bentley raises his BLOODIED HANDS. He TEARS the bird from his face. THROWING it onto the floor.
Bentley JUMPS UP. RUNNING to the door.
The restaurant OWNER hurries over to Bentley.
OWNER: Mr. Bobster...What is it? Is something wrong?
Bentley TURNS back to his table.
The bird is no longer ALIVE. It RESTS on the plate. In its original POSITION. CALM. As if it HADN'T MOVED.
Bentley looks at his HANDS. They are CLEAN. No sign of BLOOD. He feels his FACE. UNBLEMISHED. NOT A SCRATCH.
Bentley TURNS. LOOKING around the restaurant.
Everyone STARES at Bentley. CUSTOMERS. WAITERS. Even the COOKS have comes out of the kitchen. Everyone is PUZZLED by his strange outburst.
Bentley STARES. CONFUSED. Was it a HALLUCINATION?
Bentley GRABS his hat and coat. DASHING out of the restaurant. FRIGHTENED.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'd forgotten how boring it is to watch a character experiencing a hallucination. The audience needs to SEE the hallucination too.
Young Sherlock Holmes (1985)(rev. draft, 5/25/84)
by Chris Columbus
Based on the characters of Arthur Conan Doyle
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