TODAY'S NUGGET: The Hi-Lo Country (1998) - Romantic Triangles for Tension & Suspense; Excellent Dangerous Female Role

[Quick Summary: Pete, a ranch hand, is in love with the married Mona from afar, but still looks out for his best friend Big Boy, who is actually seeing her behind her husband's back.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) RISING TENSION & SUSPENSE. Writer Walon Green has a real talent for keeping tension and suspense mounting for the whole script.

First, there's two romantic triangles (Big Boy, Mona, husband; Big Boy, Mona, Pete).  

Then he sticks Pete with conflicting motives. He has a crush on Mona, which Big Boy doesn't know about, and his loyal friend Big Boy is unwilling to give up Mona.  

2)  DANGEROUS FEMALE ROLE. It was a treat to see that Mona is equally culpable for the situation.  She is beyond caring, and thus, she is dangerous.

In the scene below, note how COMMITTED each character is to their motives.  Because of this, the conflict will be unavoidable, thus raising the tension/suspense.

EXT. HI LO - DAY

Pete stands on the sidewalk, leaning against a building near his truck. He glances at his watch. He seems anxious waiting for someone -- Mona.

                                                                             CUT TO:

INT. HI LO CAFE - DAY

Pete sits at a window table, eating a sandwich. Glancing out he sees --

POV PETE

Mona's car goes past.

RESUME PETE

 He gets up and drops some money on the table.

EXT. SIDEWALK - DAY

 Pete exits and reacts as he sees --

POV PETE

Mona gets out of her car and Les gets out the passenger side. After a few words, they head in different directions.

Mona walks along the side walk. Her thin summer cotton dress clinging to her body and her bare legs.

INT. A SMALL MARKET - DAY

Mona browses picking vegetables from a counter. Suddenly, Pete is at her side. He takes her arm and moves her through the door into the back room.

INT. MARKET STORAGE ROOM - DAY (CONTINUOUS)

Pete releases Mona. She looks at him, annoyed.

MONA: That wasn't very smart.

PETE: Let's not argue about who's bein' smart these days.

Mona says nothing, she knows what's coming.

PETE (continuing): You got to break it off with him. You'll get him killed.

MONA: Now suddenly you're the concerned best friend.

PETE: You're damn right I am.

MONA: Pete, I know what you really are and so do you. I've seen you look at me when I'm with him. I know what eats at you, and it's not concern for your best friend.

Pete has the urge to hit her for striking the chord of horrible truth.

MONA (continuing): I've been bored all my life except for right now.

Mona turns and walks calmly out of the store room.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised at how much Mona's unswerving commitment to her own interests raised the tension for me.

The Hi-Low Country (1998)(1st draft, 8/16/96)
by Walon Green
Based on the novel by Max Evans

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996) - Grounding the Unfamilar + Genre Tropes (Horror/Thriller/Sci-fi)

[Quick Summary: After being rescued at sea and brought to a mysterious island, a lawyer (Prendick) discovers his host Dr. Moreau is experimenting on animals.] 

Writer Walon Green has quite a breadth and scope of his writing.  He uses genres as tools for his stories, but is not dictated by them.

For example, this script is a mix of sci-fiction, horror, and psychological thriller.  However, it is still very accessible to someone picking it up for the first time. 

How did he make it easy and interesting for the reader?
a) He made an unfamiliar situation recognizable for the reader; yet
b) Uses genre tropes to heighten the impact of the scene. 

For example, this scene below:
- Prendick, the protagonist, spends his first night on Dr. Moreau's spooky island. 
- Prendick is locked into his room at night "for his own safety" and wakes up. This is familiar sensation to many travelers.
- Then, however, Green uses genre elements to heighten this situation: sci-fi (what kind of child is born?), horror (screams in the night), thriller (danger to protagonist?)

 INT. THE GUEST ROOM - NIGHT

...We see the following (PRENDICK'S P.O.V.) as though through a nightmare: 

Prendick is alone, deep in sleep, through which he can hear the SCREAMS, now at an unbearable pitch.

INT. THE WOMB - NIGHT

An unborn CHILD pushes through the red-veined darkness, eyes still closed, squeezed shut as if anguished by this transition from one world to another.

In the darkness of the womb the child twists and SCREAMS.

                                                                            CUT TO:

INT. THE GUEST ROOM - NIGHT

Prendick sits bolt upright on the bed. It takes him only a moment to realize that the pitch of the cries has changed. They no longer sound like the howling of man nor beast, but have become instead the screams of a child in pain.

Prendick turns and goes to the door a bit unsteadily. He tries it. Still locked.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's easy to assume everyone knows the genre tropes as well as you, writer. So do NOT assume.

Make sure you have the basics so the reader knows what is happening (cake), then heighten with the genre tropes (frosting). 

The Island of Dr. Moreau (1996)(4/26/94 draft)
by Richard Stanley & Michael Berr
Revised by Walon Green
Based upon the novel by H. G. Wells

TODAY'S NUGGET: Judge Dredd (1995) - Inventive Way to Stage a Fight Using One's Head (Literally)

[Quick Summary: Judge Dredd, a clone who has both police and judiciary powers, is wrongly accused of a crime, and fights his way back to prevent a take over.]

This script has remarkable clarity, action, and energy on the page.  

I particularly marveled at how I was still able to connect with the script, though I did not know the underlying comic book material.*

I really enjoyed the inventive way the writers staged the fight below because it requires the opponents to anticipate and think their way out, not simply use brawn.

NOTE:
- "Mean" is Rev. Angel's henchman.
- Mean has a dial on his head.  1 is calm, 4 is frenzied.

INT. RUINED COURTHOUSE - NIGHT

... REVEREND ANGEL: And Mean - Finish Dredd - !

MEAN: My pleasure.

Mean breaks into a big smile, nods, turns the dial on his head to 4, and turns back -- He takes a big swing, and lets the meanest ever headbutt fly.

DREDD like lightning lifts his whole body weight up. Mean goes flying into the wooden pole behind, cracking his skull wide open.

KEE-RACKK-K-! Dredd and the pole fall to the floor. He throws the ropes off his wrists --

Mean is starting to get to his feet -- Dredd slides past him, twisting the dial on his head down to 1 -- continues towards --

THE ANGELS

Drop Fergie -- he scrambles away -- rush Dredd! Dredd doesn't wait for them to reach him - he charges!

REVEREND ANGEL

Cranks Mean's dial back up to 4 -- Mean starts to move --

DREDD

Sweeps past, twisting the dial back to 1, Mean drops to his knees --

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that this is an atypically staged fight, so there's some suspense. How will the opponents figure their way out of this?

Also, I liked that this didn't feel like a comic book where no one ever suffers repercussions, but like a real action story with real consequences. 

Judge Dredd (1995)(7/25/94 draft, w/revisions)
by Gary Goldman and Danny Cannon
Previous drafts by Steven de Souza/Walon Green, William Wisher/John Fasano

*In fact, I had not interest in this script itself.  I only decided to read it after learning writer Walon Green (The Wild Bunch) had written an earlier draft.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Birth (2004) - A Turning Point that is Creepy as Hell

[Quick Summary: A 10 y.o. boy tries to convince a newly engaged woman that he is her dead ex-husband reborn, and wants to marry her again.]

Does this story have a big ick factor? Was it creepy as hell? Yes. 

However, it was very well written, in large part because the question of reincarnation - which these characters don't believe in - is played for real.  

For example, a turning point (below) hooked me because it delves into a universal fear about creepy kids.  What would you do with a kid like this who is unrelenting?

NOTE: The main character is Anna, and Laura is her sister.

INT. MORGANS' APARTMENT - HALL - SAME

The doorbell rings. BETTY emerges from the kitchen, walks the length of the hall, and opens the front door to MR. & MRS. DRUMMOND and their TWO DAUGHTERS. They are armed with FLOWERS and PRESENTS. DAVID is with them. THE GIRLS bolt into the dining room as BETTY takes MR. and Mrs. Drummond's coats. She ushers them into the dining room, then returns to the kitchen. The camera remains in the hall. Suddenly, the hall light is extinguished and, for a beat, we wait in darkness.

Suddenly, Anna appears behind Betty and they both emerge from the kitchen. ANNA carries the CANDLELIT CAKE. Betty walks ahead of her.

DINING ROOM - EVENING

Betty turns the lights off in the dining room. Anna enters with the cake. Everyone claps and sings 'Happy Birthday'. Eleanor blows the candles out. Claps and congratulations and kisses. 'Hip Hip' shouts JOSEPH. 'Hooray', they reply.

Betty turns the lights back on. And there, in the corner, ANNA sees DAVID. 'Hip Hip' shouts JOSEPH. And DAVID looks back, as baffled as she is shocked. 'Hooray', they reply.

INT. ELEVATOR - MOVING - EVENING

Anna and David travel down, side by side. He's too frightened to look at her and she's too angry to look at him. She takes a $10 bill from her purse and folds it in her hand.

They continue their descent in silence....

[I deleted several scenes here where she has the front desk put him in a taxi.]

INT. MORGANS' APARTMENT BUILDING - CORRIDOR - EVENING

The elevator doors open at Anna's floor, and she exits the elevator. LAURA is waiting there, and she and ANNA walk back to the apartment together. 

LAURA: That was him.

ANNA: Yes.

LAURA: Betty thought he was with the Drummonds, the Drummonds thought he was with us.

ANNA: You didn't tell anyone, did you?

LAURA: No.

They arrive at the apartment door. Laura rings the bell.

LAURA (CONT'D): What are you going to do?

ANNA: Nothing. It's over. It's a moot issue. (a pause) Finished.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think this turning point was very effective for me because it plays into a universal theme of fear and feeling helpless.  

Also, it's not just a crescendo into a tense moment, but a moment where a decision has to be made (turning point).

Birth (2004)(draft dated 9/1/02)
by Jean-Claude Carriere & Jonathan Glazer
Additional dialogue by Milo Addica

2024 OSCARS: The Zone of Interest (2023) - Showing, But Not Telling, That Something is Wrong

[Quick Summary: SS Commandant Rudolf Hoss and his wife Hedwig build a perfect life on the other side of the fence from a concentration camp.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) SCRIPT. This is well-written script that zips along at 76 pgs.  I liked the first 2/3, but the last 1/3 focused mostly on Rudolf, and I missed the family dynamics.

2) AUDIO. This film generated a lot of Oscar buzz around the effectiveness of this film's audio track because one could hear, but not see, the concentration camps.

In the crowded genre of WWII films, this was a very different, point of view.

3) SHOW NOT TELL. The script also had a very different point of view,  that emphasized a normal German family treating unusual circumstances as normal.  

It often showed, but did not tell, that things were very wrong, as in the scene below:

EXT. ROCKY INLET, SOLA RIVER - MORNING

The canoe is moored on a small beach.

Hans and Inge-Brigit splash in the shallows nearby, teasing each other.

Rudolph stands waist deep in the river upstream, a fishing rod in his hand. 

He stands very still, focusing on his float in hope of a bite.

He flinches suddenly. Looks down at the water he's standing in. Then returns his focus to the float.

Then, feeling something brushing past his thigh, flinches again.

He looks down at the water. He puts his hand in and pulls out a fragment of a bone.

A human eye socket.

We look at him through it.

He drops it then wades out Hurriedly.

He throws down his rod on the bank and hurries along the shoreline, lapping dead fish, towards the children. Signaling for them to get out as he approaches.

RUDOLF: Come on out. Out.

They come to shore reluctantly.

He towels them off anxiously.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I heard the apt phrase "banality of evil" applied to this film.  I liked that the characters' consciences are seen, even if they may not say so.

The Zone of Interest (2023)(undated)
by Jonathan Glazer
Based on the novel by Martin Amis