TODAY'S NUGGET: The Jewel of the Nile (1985) - Perfectly Timed Dialogue and Action (Stakes, Hope-Fear in Romance)

[Quick Summary: A sequel to Romancing the Stone. After an ambitious African politician kidnaps writer Joan Wilder to write his life's story, the selfish Jack Coulter races to her rescue.] 

I agreed with critic Roger Ebert that this story was good, but it lacked romance:

But the original contract specified a sequel, and it’s to everybody’s credit that “The Jewel of the Nile” is an ambitious and elaborate attempt to repeat the success of the first movie; it’s not just a ripoff. Even so, it lacks some of the pleasures of “Romancing,” especially the development of the romance between Douglas and Turner.

He went on to praise the mechanism of his favorite scene in a rat pit*  

I couldn't find that scene in this draft, but found a similar one in which the emotional and physical beats fall like clockwork (below):
- Joan, Jack, and the Jewel have arrived at a village.
- The Chief will let them pass if they pay the $1M toll.
- Pay attention to the rhythm of the scene.
- Notice the hope-fear-hope-fear pattern winds up the tension.

EXT. NUBIAN VILLAGE

...The CHIEF talks aside with the Jewel.

JEWEL: You don't have to pay it. ... Instead he will take Joan for one hour. [Fear. Emotional stakes are high here.]

Jack stops dancing. Looks at Joan.

JOAN: He's kidding. [Hope. She tries to dispel the fear.]

JEWEL: Just one hour. [Fear.]

JACK (teasing): Well Joan, now you can do something serious. Something that really matters. (to the Chief) Go ahead. 

The NUBIANS laugh as Jack offers the CHIEF Joan's hand. All one big joke. Until the CHIEF starts pulling her into his hut.

JACK: OK...fun's fun...hey, that's it. [Fear.]

Now Jack grabs the CHIEF. Wrong move. He's immediately seized by six young toughs. Joan becomes scared. The Chief talks roughly.

JEWEL (translating): He wants to know if you are married? [Emotional stakes.]

JOAN: No.

JEWEL (translating): Any babies? [Higher emotional stakes.]

JACK: No. ...look, what's the difference?

The CHIEF now pushes Jack in the chest. [Physical move that raises stakes.]

JEWEL: Then decide. Either he takes Joan for an hour...

JACK: Or...?

JEWEL: You will lose your leg.  [Fear.]

A terribly OBESE NUBIAN steps forward with a broad AXE on a long handle. The other young toughs stretch out one of Jack's legs. Tension is unbearable. They realize the CHIEF is serious.

JOAN: Jack...I ...I have to. [Rising emotional stakes.]

JACK (straining against their holds): NO!! I forbid you.

JOAN: You can't.

JACK (screams for all he's worth):  NOOOO!!! [Highest tension, stakes.]

The CHIEF looks at Joan.  A wave of his hand and the OBESE NUBIAN raises his axe. Joan turns to the CHIEF. Touches her chest.

JOAN: Yes. Now. 

JACK (half-crazed) Cut the leg. (at the Chief) DAMN IT! CUT OFF MY GODDAMNED LEG!! [FEAR! PEAK OF FEAR!]

JEWEL: That is your decisions?

JACK (really scared): Yes...

JOAN: Jack...

ON THE AXE

High in the air. A beat, then down it comes. BAM! Into the dirt next to Jack. A great CHEER goes up among the Nubians. They start to dance in simple, sweet ecstacy.

JACK - BEING BEAR-HUGGED BY THE CHIEF

ready to faint, looks to Joan, then to the Jewel.

JEWEL (translating): We are free to go no.   ... The Nubians are hopeless romantics. Some tribes enjoy tests of strength. ...They like to test love. [Funny release of tension.]

JACK AND JOAN 

are hoisted on shoulders and carried around the village.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One key to escalating stakes is the pendulum of emotions swinging from hope to fear.  Don't be afraid to swing widely.

The Jewel of the Nile (1985)(1st draft)
by Mark Rosenthal & Lawrence Konner

* Ebert wrote: 

...My favorite moment between them comes as they hang by their hands over a rat pit, while acid gnaws away at the ropes that suspend them above certain doom. Sure, this scene owes something to “Raiders of the Lost Ark.” But what’s new about it this time is the dialogue – the way they break down and confess that they love each other, and make marriage plans as death inexorably approaches. And then, when DeVito appears and might possibly save them, there is some business with a ladder that is followed by dialogue so perfectly timed that I laughed not so much in amusement as in delight at how well the mechanisms of the scene fell together. (my underline)

TODAY'S NUGGET: My Favorite Wife (1940) - Making It Easy for the Audience to Follow Trickster Characters (Structure)

[Quick Summary: After being missing for 7 years, an anthropologist returns to find her husband has just re-married that day.]

I love Cary Grant as a "trickster" character in screwball comedies because he often paint himself into a corner. How will he get out of this?!

Tricksters make wild decisions on a whim, causing many twists and turns.  Thus it is important to keep the story line fairly straightforward and relatable.

ex. This script's structure has a lot of twists and turns:
- Ellen, an anthropologist on an expedition, is presumed dead at sea.
- It turns out she's spent the last 7 years on a deserted island.
- She returns to find her husband Nick has just married wife #2, Bianca.  
- Nick finds out Ellen is not only alive, but had been on the island with Mr. Burkett, a fellow traveler on the ship.
- Ellen brings in a fake Burkett to meet Nick.
- Nick brings the real Burkett to confront Ellen.
- However, the real Burkett surprises them by declaring he wants to marry Ellen. 
- Despite all this ruckus, note that the simple jealousy story line makes it easy for the audience to follow the action.
- I also liked the smart (but hard to pull off) structural twist: Nick must choose between two wives --> It flips to Ellen now must choose between two husbands. 

Here's a sample of showing jealousy.  Note how it doesn't rush the emotions:

 EXT. GARDEN - DAY

...MED. CLOSE SHOT - of Nick, as he watches, fascinated apparently.

LONG SHOT - Burkett, beautifully build, ascends the lower diving board. He leaps from the diving board and catches the rings in mid-air. 

CLOSE SHOT - as the figure swirls through an intricate movement, every muscle showing.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as his head moves from left to right with Burkett's movements.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Burkett, as his chest expands to the breaking point.

MED. CLOSE SHOT - Nick, as he stares, horrified.

LONG SHOT - as Burkett completes a complicated maneuver.

LONG SHOT - as the spectators burst into spontaneous applause.

MED. CLOST SHOT - as Nick feebly joins in applause.

LONG SHOT - figure still swinging.

                                                                               DISSOLVE

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Trickster characters are inherently contradictory and conflicted, i.e., interesting to watch. Thus, keep the plot simple.

Also, take your time allowing the emotions to rise/fall, as in the scene above. Most of the fun is watching tricksters squirm and evade problems. 

My Favorite Wife (1940)(undated draft)
by Bella & Sam Spewack
Story by Bella & Sam Spewack, and Leo McCarey

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Fisher King (1991) - When Brusque Kindness Breaks Through a Character's Shell

[Quick Summary: After he made a mistake that severely affected a homeless man, a fired radio DJ tries to absolve his guilt by befriending the man.]

TWO THOUGHTS:

1) EXCELLENCE AIN'T CHEAP. This is an excellent script, but it didn't come easy.  (See here for an in-depth interview with the writer Richard LaGravanese).

2) CHARACTERS WHO CARE.  For me, the script rises above others because we feel the characters care about others, even if they're seemingly rude or abrupt.

For example:
- Jack, the DJ, befriends a homeless man, Parry.
- Parry is in love with an office worker, Lydia, but from afar.
- Jack is living with Anne. She has issues with his lack of commitment.
- Jack asks Anne to help him set up Parry and Lydia.
- Jack and Anne get Lydia to come to Anne's video store under false pretenses.
- Lydia admires Anne's nails. 
- Anne offers to do Lydia's nails so that Parry and Jack can "casually drop by."
- Anne is a brusque and isn't exactly excited about this farce, but she is kind.
- I really liked how the writer used this brusque kindness  (Anne) to get past a defensive shell (Lydia).
- The key to the breakthrough is Anne's empathy with Lydia's situation.

INT. ANNE'S APARTMENT - A LITTLE LATER

ANNE works the other hand, as LYDIA sips her tequila from a straw.

ANNE: ...SO...anybody special in your life?

LYDIA (defensive): Do I look like I have someone special?

SHE moves to picks up her tequila with the manicured hand but ANNE eyes her down.

ANNE: Well, don't say it like that. It's not so...ya know, crazy an idea. You are a healthy woman...You hold a steady job. Ya not crossed eyed or anything... [Here, Anne seems rude, but she is actually complimenting Lydia.]

LYDIA: Well, there's nobody special! [Lydia is defensive.]

ANNE: Fine.

LYDIA (pause, then:): I mean it's not easy in this day and age. [However, the empathy makes Lydia feel seen.]

ANNE: What?

LYDIA: Meeting...people.

ANNE: Tell me about it. I've been dating longer than I've been driving. I can't believe that. [Anne identifies how being rejected feels, i.e., again saying "I understand."]

LYDIA: I never really...went through a ...dating period.

ANNE: It's a disgusting process. You haven't missed anything.

LYDIA nods in agreement, but her face tells us she feels she has missed a great deal.  [Some nitpickers may say, "hey, that's 'telling' rather than 'showing'!" but I'd challenge you to do better. How would you explain what an abstract concept like "breakthrough" looks like?!]

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Don't be afraid of characters with rough edges. Don't berate yourself if you can't perfectly abide by "show, not tell."

The Fisher King (1991)(revised 6/30/90)
by Richard LaGravanese

TODAY'S NUGGET: Wrongfully Accused (1998) - A Clever, Spoof Comedy with a Double Take Sight Gag

[Quick Summary: A wrongfully accused man must track down the one-eyed, one-armed, and one-legged man to clear his name.]

Q: What do you think are the best films in the genre?
A: Airplane (1980) and Naked Gun (1988), which star one of the best spoof comedy actors ever, Leslie Nielsen.  (He also stars in today's featured script.)

Q: Spoof comedies are hard to write.  Why didn't you like this one?
A: Around this time, the genre seemed to be running out of new ideas.  

Q: What do you like to see in a spoof comedy?
A: When the story goes off on unexpected tangents.  Or showing something you think you know --> springing a surprise --> which makes you do a double take.

ex.  Today's script does have a great double take sight gag:
- Our hero, Ryan Jack Harrison is at a bait shop, on the run.
- He sees a 'wanted' poster of his own face.
- He draws "big, Buddy Holly glasses, a long ZZ Top beard, and blacks out a few teeth" on the poster.  We immediately ask ourselves, "How is this going to help?!
- The bait shop owner is Roman.
- I love this scene because it's a rare to have a double take WITHIN a sight gag.

INT. "ROMAN'S" - DAY

...[Ryan]starts to leave. Roman pulls a gun.

ROMAN: Don't move, Harrison!

Ryan is about to raise his hands when Roman pushes him aside. Roman's gun is trained on:

ANGLE - MAN

Big Buddy Holly glasses, long ZZ Top beard, and a few blacked out teeth. He looks exactly like Ryan's alterations on the poster.

ANGLE - RYAN

Quietly exits.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked that this sight gag was so simple.  I expected Roman to go after Ryan, but instead, Roman went after "Ryan."

Wrongfully Accused (1998)(4/11/97 revised)
by Pat Proft

TODAY'S NUGGET: Action Jackson (1988) - An Infallible Protagonist is NOT a Shortcut to a Heroic Hero

[Quick Summary: A demoted Detroit police sergeant (but Harvard law grad!) pursues an auto manufacturer who is systematically killing off union leaders.]  

I'd never heard of this film and was curious about it because:
1) of the title; and
2) it starred Carl Weathers in 1988 (a few years after Rocky and Predator).

It was not a well reviewed film* and I can see why:
- lots of loose ends
- dialogue that tells the plot
- the protagonist is unrealistically infallible: a Harvard law grad turned police sergeant rarely has doubts or makes mistakes.

I can see why Weathers signed on.  There is a LOT of action. However, the lack of character development makes the story just okay.

I do wish there were more emotionally tense setup-payoff scenes like the one below:
- Mr. Delaplane is receiving the Man of the Year award.
- Jackson put his son in jail.
- I liked the unexpected surprise of this scene, i.e., Jackson makes a wrong assumption about Delaplane's wife, and she gets the upper hand.
- I also liked how Jackson makes a mistake.  When he's invulnerable, it's boring.

INT. HYATT BALLROOM - NIGHT

...The blonde notices that Jacking is eating, and casually moves closer to his side without a hint of flirtation.

BLONDE: You can hardly hear what he's saying back here.

JACKSON: I know. Best seat in the house.

BLONDE: I take it you're not a friend of Mr. Delaplane.

JACKSON: Not unless they've changed the definition. What's he saying anyway?

BLONDE: Something about how he earned his money the old fashioned way.

JACKSON: That's right. He married it.

She gives him a look of genuine surprise.

BLONDE: You really think so?

Delaplane seems to be wrapping up his acceptance speech.

DELAPLANE: And they say that behind every man is a woman. I wish I could say that mine is behind me, but perhaps she will be in a moment. Patrice?

BLONDE (smiling): I bet I can make you change your mind.

She leaves Jackson and walks the length of the auditorium to join Delaplane at the podium.

DELAPLANE: Ladies and gentlemen, my bride, Patrice Delaplane.

The crowd APPLAUDS, and Jackson stares in shock at the happy couple.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This protagonist was set up to be heroic.  He's a law grad (smart), a good cop (dedicated), infallible. This isn't heroic (or very interesting).

Heroism requires tough choices. It's easiest to see when a character has flaws or doubts, yet chooses to do good.

Action Jackson (1988)
by Robert Reneau

*Even Roger Ebert was puzzled: "What can you make of a movie that has one scene where a cop outruns a taxi cab and another one where a villain shoots his wife in the stomach while kissing her, and then keeps on kissing? What’s going on here? “Action Jackson” plays like a cross between “Superman” and “The Face of Death,” and that’s not intended as a compliment. Rarely have comedy and gruesome violence been combined in such a blithe mixture, as if the violence didn’t really count."

2025 OSCARS: Sing Sing (2024) - The Line of Dialogue That Tells the Multi-Layered Truth

[Quick Summary: Divine G and a group of prisons find deeper meaning when they put on their own time travel play/musical.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

In this line, Divine G speaks of taking ballet at the famous FAME high school:

DIVINE G: ...There's no room for lies in ballet.

I like it because it is economical and says so much about:
- his potential once upon a time
- his understanding of the finer arts
- a metaphor for what fine arts help uncover inside people
- in subtext, what the troupe is trying to uncover through acting.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I'm sure this line of dialogue was honed and honed and honed. It doesn't happen spontaneously (though it may appear to be).

Sing Sing (2024)
by Clint Bentley & Greg Kwedar
Story by Clint Bentley, Greg Kwedar, Clarence "Divine Eye" Maclin, & John "Divine G" Whitfield
Based on "The Sing Sing Follies" by John H. Richardson & "Breakin' The Mummy's Code" by Brent Buell

2025 OSCARS: Nickel Boys (2024) - The Line That's Very Complicated to Execute

[Quick Summary: In 1966 Florida, two young boys navigate life in a reform school.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

One of the hallmarks of this film is that it's told in one point of view at a time.

Because it's always from one person's POV, cinematographer Jomo Fray has said that the following line looks simple on the page, but not in execution.*

In this scene:
- This is from Elwood's POV.
- Elwood sits next to his grandma Hattie on a bus.
- The camera starts from Elwood's eye level, then underneath his bus seat.
- How did they make room for the camera to flip upside down? How did they light the scene for the complicated camera move (above the seat --> below the seat)?!
- I am impressed they left in such a complicated camera move in the script, especially because the budget was low.

INT. CITY BUS - FRENCHTOWN - 1966 - DAY (D15)

 ...As Hattie's hand turns a page, Elwood sees a LITTLE GIRL slide herself feet first from under their seat forward into the space between his own shoes, all the way until her face is visible.

... Elwood bends all the way forward and looks under his seat watching the kid slide backwards under other seats, legs and shoes of passengers toward the back of the bus.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Despite a shoestring budget, these writers were bold enough to aim high.  Don't let your budget dictate to your creativity.

Nickel Boys (2024)
by RaMell Ross & Joslyn Barnes
Based on the novel by Colson Whitehead

*Sorry, I really tried to keep this post to a single line (the last one starting with "Elwood bends"), but it was hard to explain without context.

2025 OSCARS: A Complete Unknown (2024) - The Line That Describes What the Tension in the Atmosphere Feels Like

[Quick Summary: In 1961, Bob Dylan comes to NYC, where he meets his heroes and significant women in his life.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

CON OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: There's a bias toward certain stories.

PRO OF READING OSCAR SCRIPTS: Learning what the industry says is the most innovative writing in the last year.

Though today's script wasn't particularly innovative in the biopic genre, I thought it captured atmosphere succinctly, which is often very difficult to do.

I could not decide between my favorite two lines, so I include them both here:

EXAMPLE 1:
- Joan and Bob have just spent the first night together.
- She asks Bob to sing one of his new songs.  She joins in.*
- The line below tries to explain what the tension in the air feels like:

INT. BOB'S APARTMENT -- DAWN

...No one is brave today... 

EXAMPLE 2: 
- Bob has put other things above Sylvie too many times.
- One day, he shows up on a motorcycle and shouts up to her apartment.
- The line below unfolds her inner life that creates an unspoken frisson around her:

EXT. SYLVIE'S APARTMENT -- MOMENTS LATER

...She crosses to Bob and climbs on the bike knowing full well this is stupid. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's good to know the writer's rule ("only write what the audience can see") and when to break it (ex. sometimes a writer can only describe atmosphere by describing what a character's internal state is).

A Complete Unknown (2024) 
by James Mangold and Jay Cocks

* As a side note, I loved the description of their singing: "The rusty knife of Bob's voice blunts the beauty of Joan's."

2025 OSCARS: Emilia Perez (2024) - The Line Which Conveys Two Women in the Same Space, Lost in Thought

[Quick Summary: Musical.  A lawyer assists Manitas, a drug lord, to "kill" him, help him to become "Emilia"  via surgery, and then reunite her with her wife and kids.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I thought it was tricky to adapt this story into a film, and even more so, a musical.* 

There is a ton of ground to cover: who Manitas is; his empire; the threats to him; his transition to a woman; her establishing a non-profit to help families, etc.

The strongest story line that drove many decisions was Emilia's desire to be reunited with her kids, which wasn't unexpected.

The second strongest story line was unexpected: Emilia's new romance with Epifania.  I found it to be more nuanced visually, with subtext.  

The scene below is an example of the second point:
- Prior to this scene, Emilia meets Epifania at the non-profit.
- They go out on a date and stay the night together.
- The scene below is the morning after.
- As Emilia starts to sing, Epifania continues with day's work: dressing housekeeping, etc. 
- I liked the first sentence, which specifies: a) they don't see each other, and b) they're in the same frame.
- This is so succinct!  It conveys through visuals and space that they're each lost in their own thoughts.
- BONUS: I included the second sentence for the last phrase, "weighed down by love," which I thought was beautifully descriptive.

INT. EPIFANIA'S HOUSE - DAY

 ...Epifania does not seem to see her although they are in the same frame.....All her gestures are weighed down by love.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked the economy of words. It's hard to quickly convey two people both lost in thought.

Emilia Perez (2024)
Written and directed by Jacques Audiard, in collaboration with Thomas Bidegain, Lea Mysius, Nicholas Liveechi
Based on the novel by Boris Razon

*The Emilia Perez character began as a secondary character in a French novel.  Jacques Audiard, the film's writer/director, had the idea to first turned Emilia's story into an opera, then a film musical.

2025 OSCARS: Conclave (2024) - One Line That is Underlined May Have a Different Meaning Than Another

[Quick Summary: After the Pope dies, the Dean of the Conclave must manage the voting process for the new Pop and discovers hidden motives of the candidates.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

We writers are told a lot of "don'ts":  "Don't put in camera moves (directors don't like that)." "Show, don't talk about feelings (actors don't like that)."  

These days, I take them "under advisement", i.e., ignore them, because I've seen writers do those very things -  BUT THEY KNEW WHAT 'RULES' TO BREAK.

---------------

Q: In the above paragraphs, why do I only remember the underlined part?
A: Underlining emphasizes things.

Q: Have you seen any effective uses of underlining?
A: I will cite two lines from this script, in same scene, only because they show how underlining does different things:
- The first emphasizes what is in Lawrence's mind and emotions.
- The second is later in the scene, and emphasizes a shift in tone.

INT. PAPAL SUITE - SITTING ROOM - NIGHT

...Lawrence is holding the x-ray to the light, staring in silence, struck that he is looking at the very heart of the man he revered.

....The contest has begun.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Like any good tool, the emotional impact that comes with underlining is best used sparingly.

Conclave (2024)(final draft, w/revisions)
by Peter Straughan
Based on the novel by Robert Harris

2025 OSCARS: September 5 (2024) - The Line That Shows "Instinct" in Action

[Quick Summary: The ABC Sports team must figure out how to report a hostage-terrorist situation nearby their 1972 Munich Olympics broadcast location.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

In this script, I liked the propulsive energy, much of which is told through visuals.

For example, Roone Arledge, President of ABC Sports, was journalist who understood instinctually how to to tell the story via visuals.

How does one SHOW instinct?  Usually through actions rather than dialogue, because it's a spontaneous "feel" rather than a calculated thought.

For example, in the scene below:
- Roone Arledge, President of ABC Sports, tells the director to cut away from the winner, Mark Spitz, and toward the "hopelessly exhausted face of the German swimmer."
- The tv director questions the decision, but directs the camera as instructed.
- The commentator picks up on Arledge's thinking and smoothly gives context, i.e., what it means for this German swimmer at the Munich Games.
- Arledge's journalistic instinct honed in on the big picture: not just the game itself, but the personal, as well as the larger geo-political realities.
- This demonstrates so well the art of instinct: Arledge knew the more interesting angle (and less commonplace one) would be the losing athlete, rather than the winner.

INT. ABC SPORTS' 1972 OLYMPICS STUDIO, CONTROL ROOM

...On the main monitor: the hopelessly exhausted face of the German swimmer. The commentator immediately understands Roone's decision and rounds out the narrative.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This is an example of how to let the audience put 2 + 2 together.

September 5 (2024) 
by Moritz Binder & Tim Fehlbaum, and Alex David

2025 OSCARS: The Substance (2025) - The Line That Begins an Emotional Transition Sequence

[Quick Summary: An aging fitness star tries the Substance to allow her younger self to exist, but it turns dark when the latter wants more than 7 allotted days at a time.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

I was impressed that about 90% of this film occurs in a single apartment, but never feels short changed.  I can identify two reasons:

a) The Substance process is secretive, which lends itself to a single location. 

b) Its superb emotional transitions are sequenced very well to topple from each other like dominoes, and keep the audience so absorbed that it doesn't notice.  

As an example of an emotional transition, I chose the first sentence (below):
- This sentence starts the arc of the emotional transition.
- Because transitions rely on context, by their nature, I've included the rest of the scene to show the entire arc of the transition.
- Previous to this scene, Elisabeth dumped a USB stick that advertised The Substance.
- The action of dumping wilted flowers is both how Elisabeth feels (disgust) and a metaphor for her life. 
- Dumping flowers (disgust) + the USB retrieval (hope) = Shows Elisabeth's conflict of emotions.

INT. LIVING ROOM - NIGHT

...Elisabeth grabs the wilted flowers from the table, heads to the kitchen and...

INT. KITCHEN - NIGHT

...throws them in the trash can.

BLACK

A long silent beat.

CLACK - LOW ANGLE SHOT FROM INSIDE THE TRASH CAN WHICH OPENS AGAIN - revealing Elisabeth's face framed by the black can.

She leans over, sticks her hand inside the black bucket...

...and retrieves the USB stick, covered in sticky residue. 

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I thought this was a good example of how an audience grasps a character's emotional transition through a sequence of the character's actions (structure).

Also, it was illuminating how the writer kept it simple: one sentence, one action.  She didn't try to overload each sentence with too much business.

The Substance (2024)(5/3/22 draft)
by Coralie Fargeat

2025 OSCARS: A Real Pain (2024) - The Line That Shows Great Subtext

[Quick Summary: To honor their grandmother, two opposite cousins go on a Holocaust tour of Poland.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

Actor/writer/director Jesse Eisenberg began this story as a play with one character, another play with the other character, then a short story with the two characters.

His playwriting bent is evident in the emphasis on dialogue and few actions.  

However, there was one action line that was very cinematic and deeply subtextual:
- In previous scenes, we learn that David is the responsible cousin. Benji is the irresponsible one. James is the tour guide.
- Benji accuses James of spitting out facts and figures, not real stories that connect.
- James thanks Benji, as Benji and David are about to leave for the last leg, on their own, to go see their grandmother's house.
- This line shows James finally connecting with Benji.  It's also a really great image of what David and Benji are also trying to do.

INT. LUBLIN HOTEL - DAY

...With James' mop of hair buried in Benji's arms, it almost looks like Benji is hugging David.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that this one image contained so much more subtext than what we see.  

However, it only makes sense in the film because it relies on previous context.  As a still image, a random viewer might not understand the dynamics.

A Real Pain (2024)(final draft)
by Jesse Eisenberg

2025 OSCARS: The Brutalist (2024) - The Line That Delivers An Explosive Damning Payoff

[Quick Summary: After WWII, a Hungarian architect flees to the U.S., where he tries to eke out a living and meets a wealthy client who offers a plum assignment.] 

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

This is a slightly more sophisticated script than others I've seen. It's much more about the dynamic between characters, rather than in the narrative.

I think it's how daring the characters are in relation to each other. 

For example, the Erzsebet character, who stole the show, comes to the home of the wealthy Mr. Van Buren in Act 3. 

In front of his two adult kids, associates, she plans to confront him about what he did to her husband. 

The amazing thing is that Van Buren only asks where Laszlo is, then DOES NOTHING ELSE.  

When she accuses him, everyone acts on Van Buren's behalf.  His son drags her out.  His daughter Maggie Lee is screaming, trying to help.  

Then Erzsebet delivers the most damning line:

ERZSEBET: YOU ARE NOT EXCUSED, HARRISON VAN BUREN!

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's not necessarily what's said, but the interactions/setup that led up to this explosive damnation.

The Brutalist (2025)(3/12/23 final shooting draft)
by Brady Corbet & Mona Fastvold

2025 OSCARS: Anora (2024) - The Line That Shifted the Mood with Clarity

[Quick Summary: After Ani, an exotic dancer, marries Ivan, a Russian billionaire's son, she grapples with his family's goons who insist they get an annulment.]

PROGRAMMING NOTE: For this year's 2025 Oscar roundup, I'm going to feature my single favorite line from each of the 10 scripts.

This was a well written, clear, character based script with heart and hope.  Some may consider it a dark comedy (I agree) &/or a rom-com (I do not).

The line I chose surprised me because it came late in Act 3 and shifted my mood:
- Ivan has left Ani to fend for herself with his parents' goons. 
- She has agreed to help them find Ivan if she got to speak to Ivan one last time.
- They find Ivan, drunk, back at the gentleman's club.
- Ani finds Diamond humping Ivan in a private room.
- Diamond is competing exotic dancer who hates Ani.
- Diamond saw Ivan enter the club alone and played up to him.
- I liked that the dynamics are complicated:  Lulu (Ani's friend) and Igor (a goon) are trying to help Ani. Diamond (enemy) is trying to stir up trouble for her.
- The script sets up Ani-Diamond animosity well before this point, but it's never resolved.  I liked this sentence's clarity that now we're shifting into high gear.

INT. HEADQUARTERS PRIVATE ROOM - CONTINUOUS

...Lulu and Igor try to de-escalate and Diamond is all about escalating.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: If you don't know how to describe a mood, try to describe its effects on the other party. 

Here, escalating/de-escalating are hard-to-describe, ephemeral feelings, but the dynamic is clear (calm vs. upsetting). 

Anora (2025)(4/22/23 green draft)
by Sean Baker

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Great Muppet Caper (1981) - Situational Jokes in a Rated G Film

[Quick Summary: To get their jobs back at the newspaper, reporters Kermit, Fozzie, and Gonzo go to London to find out who stole Lady Holiday's jewels.]

Q: Why is comedy/humor is often considered "local."
A: The idea is that it "doesn't travel well overseas."

Q: Why is that?
A: Comedy/humor often rely on VERBAL jokes, puns, one-liners, cracks, etc. that rely on understanding a language in context (ex. spelling jokes, cultural usage).

Q: What does relying on the non-verbal look like?
A: It's much more like a silent film, with jokes arising out of the SITUATION. 

Q: Any tips?
A: In silent films, the viewer doesn't need to understand any dialogue to get the joke.  Also, it's funnier if there is weight (stakes) for the characters.

In the scene below, notice that the sound and visuals do the heavy lifting, but it is the stakes for Miss Piggy (Kermit finding out she lied) that add weight to the scene.

INT. DINING ROOM - NIGHT

Suddenly, a strange CLANKING NOISE can be heard from outside. The couple reacts, curious, but calm. Greville leans sideways in his chair and looks out the window up the side of the building, then assumes his original position.

DORCAS: What is it, Greville?

GREVILLE (calmly): Just a pig climbing up the drainpipe. (continued, offering) Tea?

DORCAS: Not for me. 

[Miss Piggy is the the one climbing up the house. She gets in. Kermit rings the doorbell. Miss Piggy answers, pretending this is her house.  She yanks Kermit inside.]

INT. HIGHBROW HOUSE COMPOSITE - NIGHT

She pulls him with her out of sight of the English couple, who crane their necks trying to see what's going on in their house.

KERMIT (rubbing his sore arm): Uh...nice place you've got here.

Greville gets up from the table.

MISS PIGGY: Thanks. I practically stole it.

Miss Piggy begins pulling Kermit from room to room, just ahead of the bewildered Greville who can't quite understand the meaning of all this.

GREVILLE: I say there..

KERMIT: That guy's following us.

MISS PIGGY: He's some sort of servant. Just making sure we're all right. This, of course is the drawing room....

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Kids will think this situation is funny because they know the normally pigs can't climb drainpipes.

Also, they understand why Miss Piggy is so desperate to get inside and pretend this is her house for Kermit.

The Great Muppet Caper (1981)(7/22/80 draft)
by Tom Prachett & Jay Tarses and Jerry Juhl & Jack Ross

TODAY'S NUGGET: The 'Burbs (1989) - Funny is Self-Inflicted Assumptions

[Quick Summary: After neighbor Walter goes missing, the other neighbors assume a mysterious neighbor has kidnapped him, and investigate.]

GOOD NEWS: This script has some fun moments, but it's an okay script.

BAD NEWS: It's an okay script, and it's hard to put one's finger on why.* **

GOOD NEWS: I thought there were amusing + tense moments, especially when the cause is imagined and/or self-inflicted.

For example, in the scene below:
- Ray (protagonist) is curious about the new, unsociable next-door neighbors. 
- The whole neighborhood is curious about their mysterious basement noises too.
- Walter, another neighbor, has been missing for several days.
- Art, the wacky neighbor, thinks the new neighbors have kidnapped Walter. 
- Art just rang the new neighbors' doorbell and slipped a note: "I know what you did" to scare them.
- Art runs to Ray's backyard to wake up Ray, who is napping.
- While they're talking, Vince, Ray's dog, digs up a bone.
- Note the flow of rising and falling tension: Art's impulsive act leads to this tense moment --> increased by Vince finding the bone --> heightened by the unseen smoker next door --> ESCAPE! --> brought to shrieking halt by Carol's appearance.
- It's also funny, because Art started the drama by jumping to conclusions.

EXT. RAY'S BACK YARD - DAY

...ART (thrusts [the bone] at him): Look at it! This thing didn't come off a chicken! Where'd he get it?

Ray stutters and then -- his eyes lock on the fence and he blanches. 

RAY: The fence...he...pulled it out from under the fence...

Art looks once at the fence and his jaw drops.

ART: Jesus Christ! Ray! There's no doubt anymore! This is real! They killed him! They cut him up! And then they buried him in the yard!

He holds the bone in front of his face.

ART: This is Walter!

Involuntarily, Ray screams.

RAY: Aaaaagh!

MEN

PSYCHO PANIC MUSIC SHRIEKS. CAMERA ZOOMS IN AND OUT REPEATEDLY ON the bone and the screaming men in a disorienting acid-fright nightmare effect. Then...

Suddenly, Art springs on Ray and clamps a hand over his mouth! Art's eyes are wide and trained next door, where we hear a SCREEN DOOR SLAM. We start a SLOW, SUSPENSEFUL PAN OVER TO...

FENCE

All we can make out through the slats are shadows, but we can hear FOOTSTEPS on the grass within the yard...and they're coming closer...

PATIO

Art and Ray stand frozen, petrified, as the FOOTSTEPS CLOSE IN on the fence.

FENCE

Now the shadow and the footsteps are nose-to-nose with  the fence, a puff of smoke curling upward from just the other side. The WOOD CREAKS as a couple of slats bend inward, indicating the smoker is leaning on the fence, peeking through a crack.

ART AND RAY

hold each other, paralyzed with fear.

FENCE

CREAKS a little more. Then, up over the top, comes a crumpled piece of paper. It lands softly in the grass, and the smoking presence retreats. The SCREEN DOOR SLAMS again.

ART AND RAY

Art breaks from the patio, leaving Ray frozen stiff. In a crouch, he runs to the wad of paper and furiously opens it. His expression turns dark and he looks at Ray.

ART: My note...

Ray's eyes bulge and he breaks for the back door just as...

CAROL

opens the back door.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I liked that this scene was based on Art's internal assumptions, which he acted upon, i.e., making the inner emotions seen externally.

The 'Burbs (1989)(4/15/88 draft, revised)
by Dana Olsen

* Ebert writes: "It’s hard to put your finger on exactly what’s missing from the movie. The actors do what they can with the material and the special effects are ambitious, but somehow the film fails to rouse itself into any real conviction. It’s cut and dried; we anticipate the major events in the story and we’re right. And when the explanation for the strange family’s behavior finally arrives, it’s not much of a surprise."

**For what it's worth, I think it might be to do with the low stakes:  Neighbors are curious about the new neighbors, who may have "kidnapped" a fellow neighbor, and investigate.

But what will happen if they don't investigate?  Not much.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Ask the Dust (2006) - How Robert Towne Makes Two Lovers Dueling in a Room Work

[Quick Summary: In 1933 Los Angeles, a down-on-his-luck author is struggling to write his second novel, and meets a girl.]

I've not mastered how to write an entire script only with two characters in a room.

Frankly, I run out of things to write about, and then rely too much on distractions like guns, car chases, explosions, etc.  

However, writer Robert Towne* seems to thrive - even specialize - in the dynamic between characters.  He makes it look so easy that I forget we've hardly moved. 

What does he do that's so special?  I think it's the way he makes the interior life seen.  Motives and desires spit and crackle. I can't turn pages fast enough.

For example, in the scene below:
- The protagonist Bandini is a starving writer. He has one last nickel.
- He enters the coffee shop to buy one last coffee with cream.
- The waitress gives him curdled milk which ruins his coffee.
- He's insulted until he sees her shabby shoes, which don't match her uniform.
- He starts to laugh at her, silently. She sneers at him.
- What comes next? His surprising actions are shocking...then mocking.
- I was impressed at the creativity to express outwardly whatever was inside of Bandini. Towne likely had to make things up, since the novel is in the first person.
- Also, I was impressed at Towne's ability to capture the chemistry, the fine line of passion and hate between the characters. It's the uncertainty that's captivating. 

INT. COLUMBIA BUFFET

...BANDINI: Maybe you don't know any better. Maybe you're just naturally careless. But if I were you I wouldn't be seen in a Main Street alley in those huaraches.

Bandini spits this last word out himself.

THE WAITRESS

stands trembling under the starched stiffness of her smock, her fists writhing in her pockets.

WAITRESS: I hope you die of heart failure. Right there in that chair.

Bandini tries to laugh, but it's hollow The waitress' dark eyes are flashing once more. She waltzes away and stands in front of the bar again, looking insolently back at Bandini.

BANDINI

the smile still on his face, grows red and sweaty. He tugs at his tie, trying to loosen it, but it won't loosen He grows more frantic, desperately pulling at it like it's a noose strangling him Then, utterly without warning he clutches his chest, and collapses, his head smacking the tabletop. The thick sludge in the coffee cup shakes like jello.

THE WAITRESS

is appalled. The bartender looks accusingly at her. She mutters something in Spanish and hurries back over to the table, frantic.

WAITRESS: --it wasn't my fault, I didn't do nothing I swear to God, I just asked him if he wanted more coffee, young fellow, you there, say something, please!..

She's now trembling with terror and guilt. Bandini's not moving. Then slowly he rises to a sitting position. The sneer is back on his face.

BANDINI: You can dish it out, but you can't take it, can you?

He points to the nickel on the table top.

BANDINI: You want the nickel?

He overturns the coffee cup on it. The brown sludge spreads across the table and starts to trickle onto the floor.

BANDINI: Then mop it up.

He rises insolently out of the chair, and walks to the door. There he turns and gives the waitress a salute of farewell.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Here, Towne makes the characters' inner life visible.  Bandini and the waitress liked each other, but were covering up shame and embarrassment with cutting hostility. 

How did Towne craft the scene? He created a situation where they have to intersect. It helps that each character stands in the way of the other's goal.

ex.  Bandini interrupts her job. She ruins his enjoyment of his last morsel of sustenance.

Ask the Dust (2006)(3/30/93 draft)
Directed and written by Robert Towne
Adapted from the novel by John Fante

*Towne was known mostly as a writer, but also directed about four other films.  Towne wrote and directed this film, which was also his last film.

** EXTRA: I hope these words from Mr. Hackmuth, Bandini's editor, will encourage you, as they did to me: 

HACKMUTH'S V.O.: --p.s. As to your anxieties about your limited experience with life in general and women in particular, it is alas, a truism that author's generally have less experiences than other men, this owing to the incontestable fact that you simply can't be in two places at once, Mr. Bandini. Either you're in front of the typewriter writing or you're out in the world having experiences. Therefore since you need to write and you need to have experiences to write about - you have to learn to do more with less. And doing more with less is, in a word, Mr. Bandini what writing is all about -