TODAY'S NUGGET: 52 Pickup (1986) - How to Amp Up a Thriller-Action-Adventure

[Quick Summary: When a businessman deals with his blackmailers, neither expect the twists and turns.]

This script was an unexpected emotional ride for me because:

1) Characters have REAL reactions: 

It also isolates the key ingredient in Leonard's best novels, which is the sight of a marginal character being pushed far beyond his capacity to cope. In "52 Pick-Up," there are three such characters, and by the end of the movie they are all desperately confused and frightened. -R. Ebert (underline mine)

2) There are REAL consequences = jeopardy & stakes:

The problem with so many action adventures is that nobody in the movie ever seems scared enough. People are getting killed in every other scene, and they stay cool. If the movies were like real life and this kind of torture and murder were going on, everybody would be throwing up every five minutes - like they do in John D. MacDonald's novels. "52 Pick-Up" creates that sense of hopelessness and desperation, and it does it with those three performances - three guys who are in way over their heads and know it all too well. -R. Ebert (underline mine)

I especially like how the writers do this by showing how the situation is edgy for the blackmailers (Bobby, Alan, Leo) as well as the blackmailee (Mitchell):

INT. THE BALL - NIGHT

Bobby strolling into the club. In rear booth sit Alan and Leo. On stage dancing, naked, is Doreen. Bobby walks to booth and sits.

LEO: You want something to drink?

BOBBY: Don't need nothing, man.

ALAN: I can see it. (pause) This guy's not scared yet. He's twitchy, but he's not scared.

BOBBY: Man's lookin' for a way out. So would I.

ALAN: I don't know -- who's he think he's dealing with a bunch of ding-dongs, freaks, clowns?

BOBBY: You getting close.

ALAN: I think we're going to have to dig the hole a little deeper--and man, I got an idea, a way to do it, that's un-fucking believable.

BOBBY: Well, lay it on me, see if I like it.

INT. MITCHELL'S HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

he sits on edge of bed and reaches into coat pocket for cigarettes. He pulls out pack --sees that it's empty. he throws it angrily at wall. 

MITCHELL: Shit.

He stretches out on his back, staring at ceiling.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: When there's real obstacles (greed) + real consequences (death) + no easy way out (no cell phones, internet), tension does rise because the stakes are so close to home.

52 Pickup (1986)(6th draft, 3/25/86)
by John Steppling and Elmore Leonard
Based on the novel by Elmore Leonard

TODAY'S NUGGET: Bean (1997) - Sometimes Comedy Scenes Do Not Translate

[Quick Summary: Bean, a clumsy employee from the National Gallery, causes havoc when he is lent to a LA museum to help with the arrival of "Whistler's Mother."]

I think Stephen Fry nailed the differences between UK & US comedy:
- UK comedy is about character and US comedy is about jokes.
- UK likes to poke fun at themselves. US has a hard time.
- UK likes the loser hero. US almost always is a hero hero.

My advice is ALWAYS write whatever is funniest to you.

However, writers should realize that others may not get it.

For example, this script has many funny scenes, but the one below irritated me. 

In this scene:
- David and family are hosting Bean, but have missed him at the airport.
- Bean arrives first at their home, enters, and pokes around.
- Family comes home, but do not realize Bean is in the house.
- UK readers, help me out: What is the point? I know everything does not have to push plot forward, but how is this funny or tell me more of character (vs. gross)?

INT. THE LEARY HOUSE, KITCHEN - NIGHT

The light is on. DAVID takes a deep breath. Bad night. He picks up an empty coffee jar, sighs and goes into the pantry [for] a full one. BEAN enters. He opens the refrigerator and he studies the food on offer. Nothing he fancies...then he sees a single meatball on a plate.

He picks it up - a little nervously - and pops it whole into his mouth. He has a little suck - doesn't like it one bit - and so takes it out - and puts it back on the plate, closes the fridge door, and exits...

...just as DAVID comes out of the pantry. Close on BEAN's hand as it comes round the door frame and turns off the light. DAVID, on the move, stubs his toe on a chair. He groans in pain, limps to the fridge. He spots the lone, already-sucked meatball and pops it in his mouth.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Some scenes did not land for me - not funny, too long.  

However the script is an amazing 80% non-verbal slapstick (95% for Bean), which likely counts for its success.

Bean (1997)(6/7/96 draft)
by Richard Curtis & Robin Driscoll with Rowan Atkinson

TODAY'S NUGGET: Down With Love (2003) - When Clothes REFLECT Character

[Quick Summary: Barbara Novak, 1960s author of bestseller Down With Love, is set up for a fall by Catcher Block, hot undercover journalist, in a battle of the sexes.]

BAD NEWS: It kind of disappoints in Act 3.

GOOD NEWS: As those who have seen this film several times (like me), you know how the clothes unbelievably perfectly encapsulate/enhance character and tone.

One of the film's best over-the-top moments in the restaurant where Barbara and her editor Vikki walk in and take over, like it's a kitchy 1960s fashion show. 

Notice how Barbara's clothes and movementa proclaim, "Hear me roar!"

INT. THE MAHOGANY ROOM - DAY

....MANTOVANI MOOD MUSIC BEGINS --For even though BARBARA and VIKKI are merely entering the restaurant and taking off their coats, the following is staged like a FASHION SHOW, and is appropriately scored like one.

BARBARA and VIKKI stride like runway models down the entrance steps and freeze, striking a pose. EVERYONE in the restaurant stops to watch.

BARBARA and VIKKI each turn to the left and to the right, and then in one full circle.  They're just taking in the restaurant; we're taking in every perspective of their hats, coats, gloves, shoes and pocketbooks.

BARBARA's coat is one of those just-below-the-knee equilateral triangle numbers, with the matching hat an inverted pyramid on her head. VIKKI's coat is test-tube thin, the matching hat a large flat disk.

Now facing front, they both set their matching pocketbooks on the balustrade at each of their sides and unbutton the giant buttons of their coats, opening them wide so we see the lining, and revealing that underneath they each wear a suit that matches their coats.

The MAITRE D' steps up behind them and slides off their coats, first BARBARA's, then VIKKI's, giving them each a chance to take a solo turn:

So while VIKKI's coat is taken off, BARBARA struts into the restaurant toward the tables with three long strides, freezes again with a pose showing off the suit, then turns and walks back the three long strides to pick up her forgotten pocketbook -- passing by VIKKI who is on her strut forward.

BARBARA waits as VIKKI completes her stride, freeze, pose, turn, and stride back for her pocketbook, then together they follow the MAITRE D' to Catch's booth and are seated.

END MUSIC. FASHION SHOW OVER. EVERYONE resumes lunch.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Showcasing clothes = showcasing how Barbara and Vikki want to be seen as.  It's their internal state on the outside!

Down With Love (2003)(1/22/02 draft)
by Eve Ahlert & Dennis Drake

TODAY'S NUGGET: Kicking & Screaming (2004) - Seeing that 'He's Not Listening'

[Quick Summary: Phil decides to coach his son's soccer team against an opposing team coached by Phil's dad.]

This distant dad-son story unspools exactly as you'd expect.

However, there are nice unexpected moments, like the one below where we see that Phil is not listening and resents his much younger Bucky. 

FYI: "Buck" is their dad.

ex. EXT. BUCK'S BACKYARD - DAY

...They watch Buck for a while.

PHIL: Bucky, how do you do it?

BUCKY: Do what?

PHIL: He just doesn't seem to bother you like he bothers me.

BUCKY: Dad likes pushing your buttons. It's his love language.

PHIL: You know what he calls you? The son he always wanted.

BUCKY: Don't take it so hard.

PHIL: He's like that with you?

BUCKY: Nah. He knows it wouldn't bug me like it bugs you.

PHIL: He's been riding me all my life. When's it going to stop?

 BUCKY: When it stops getting to you.

PHIL: Yeah. I guess you're right.

Phil pops open a beer. He hands it to Bucky. He pops one for himself.

CLOSE ON BUCKY

He's about to take a sip of beer. Phil's hand quickly slaps it out of his hand.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the pace of this - apparent resolution of conflict, then one beat later we see it hasn't resolved.

Kicking & Screaming (2005)(Oct. 2003 )
by Leo Benvenuti & Steve Rudnick

TODAY'S NUGGET: Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004) - The Discipline of Comedy

[Quick Summary: Ron Burgandy, 1970s lead news anchor, is thrown for a loop when Alicia Corningstone, a new woman reporter, joins the staff.]

4 THOUGHTS:

1)  Sometimes the key to satire is to stay fairly close to the source. "Anchorman," like "This Is Spinal Tap," works best when it's only a degree or two removed from the excesses of the real thing.

2)  If the movie simply focused on making Ron and his team look ridiculous, it might grow tedious, because that would be such an easy thing to do. But it has a kind of sweetness to it.

3)  I like that nothing is off limits in this 1st draft.  There's a very different ending.  The jokes and tangents are unpolished.  However, the basic structure IS there.  The writers DO have something to say.

4) Combining #2 & 3 above: This draft does focus on making Ron ridiculous.  The innuendos are repetitive and tedious, and sweetness is missing. 

These writers were experienced enough to allow themselves the space to buckshot a first draft. Good writing only springs from much rewriting of bad writing.

Here is an example of a tedious scene that was deleted/changed: 

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE, aka: the striking woman from the night before, walks through the door.

BRIAN FANTANA: What the frig...?

CHAMP KIND: That's a lady!

Ron is blown away.

MUSIC: "YOU MAKE ME SO VERY HAPPY" by Blood, Sweat and Tears.

RON: My sweat vision...

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Oh my dearest Ron. My sex moose, take me right now on this conference table!

RON: I am engorged!

They jump on each other.

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: We are doing this right now with no shame!

RON: Let's make a baby!

ALICIA CORNINGSTONE: Get nasty on me! Break the law!

RON: It's jazz, baby! Jazz!!

They fall back and smash through the conference table while everyone applauds.

SMASH CUT BACK TO:

Back to reality from Ron's fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Comedy requires the discipline of trying, correcting, risking, correcting, trying again.  Only newbies expect good writing from the start.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgandy (2004)(1st draft revised, 5/12/02)
by Will Ferrell & Adam McKay

TODAY'S NUGGET: Miami Vice (2006) - Growing Romance Between Characters

[Quick Summary: Crockett and Tubbs try to thwart a Central American drug deal.]

I find this quote from Michael Mann interesting:

I know the ambition behind it, but it didn’t fulfill that ambition for me because we couldn’t shoot the real ending. But whole parts of the film are very evocative to me still, especially when it comes to the romance. It was about how far somebody goes when they’re undercover, and what that really means because, ultimately, who you become is yourself on steroids, manifested out there in the real world. There’s an intensity to your living that’s incredible — the relationships in that world, the really heightened experience of it. And this is from speaking to some people who’ve done a lot of very dangerous, deep undercover over long periods. That’s what Crockett does.

First, I liked the ending of this first draft - it's quite romantic.

Second, I don't really associate "romantic" with Michael Mann, so the amount of romance in the story surprised me (somewhere between 40-50%).

It's a subtle trust thing that grows between Crockett and Isabella, as symbolized by her finally accepting sunglasses in the scene below:

EXT. OPEN OCEAN - "BORN TO WIN"

cuts and then leaps over swells. In seven seconds they're doing over 70 knots. And Crockett holds it there as...

ISABELLA

The wind whips her hair behind her, now. The two are small against the smooth 50' long hull.  Crockett hands her wraparound shades for her eyes. She doesn't want them...

CROCKETT (through headset): So where's the best place for mojitas?

ISABELLA: Bedeguita del Medio. It's the only place for mojitas...

CROCKETT: Where's that?

ISABELLA: Off a little alley with cobblestones. Hemingway went there...

CROCKETT: The Keys?

ISABELLA: Havana.

CROCKETT: Havana? Cubans don't like us or my business...

ISABELLA: Are you afraid? (smiles; Crockett shakes his head "no") Good. And you don't need a visa. Cause you're with me.

EXT. OPEN OCEAN - OVERHEAD "BORN TO WIN" - DAY

rockets from one swell to the next, getting airborne. Wind and salt electrify Isabella.  She turns to Crockett and smiles, putting on the glasses, now. Crockett gestures to her knees.  She should keep them bent. Crockett pushes it to 75 knots...

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The dangerous situation + high stakes make falling in love an even higher tightrope...or addictive experience, depending on how you look at it.

Miami Vice (2006)(9/22/04, 1st draft)
by Michael Mann
Based on "Miami Vice" created by Anthony Yerkovich

TODAY'S NUGGET: Collateral (2004) - Action Gains Depth from Character

[Quick Summary: Max, an innocent L.A. taxi driver, is roped into assisting Vincent, an assassin who is picking off five victims in one night.]

THREE THOUGHTS:

1) "This is a rare thriller that's as much character study as sound and fury." Also, it's rare that a script 167 pgs. (yes, 167) reads half as long.

2) Action gains depth from character.

I was surprised that the script dared (dared!) break away from the 5 assassinations ...and make a pit stop to visit Max's mom in the hospital?  I loved it.

Mann is working in a genre with "Collateral," as he was in "Heat" (1995), but he deepens genre through the kind of specific detail that would grace a straight drama. Consider a scene where Vincent asks (or orders) Max to take him to the hospital where Max's mother is a patient. The mother is played by Irma P. Hall (the old lady in the Coens' "The Lady-Killers"), and she makes an instant impression, as a woman who looks at this man with her son, and intuits that everything might not be right, and keeps that to herself.

These scenes are so much more interesting than the standard approach of the shifty club owner or the comic-relief Big Mama. Mann allows dialogue into the kind of movie that many directors now approach as wall-to-wall action. Action gains a lot when it happens to convincing individuals, instead of to off-the-shelf action figures. - Roger Ebert (my emphasis)

3) Why does this hospital scene work here?

First, the more we learn about character, the higher the stakes.
- ex.  Max's mom has been bothering the dispatcher because Max has not shown up for his nightly visit.  Max is a dutiful, henpecked son. 
- ex. Vincent makes them go because he thinks changes in routine are suspicious.

Second, more stakes = more leverage, as Vincent learns below:

ex.  INT. HOSPITAL ROOM, LOWER FLOOR - MAX - NIGHT

MAX: Hey, mom. How many times do I have to ask you not to do that?

IDA: Do what?

MAX: Talk about me like...I'm...not...in the room, here.

IDA (to Vincent): What's he sayin'?

VINCENT: Ida, he says he's standing right here. In the room. Here.

IDA (to Max): Yesss, you are, honey. (back to Vincent) He's sensitive.

VINCENT: I know. But I'm sure you're proud of him.

IDA (directed at Max): Of course I'm proud. You know, he started with nothing. Look at him today. Here. Vegas. Reno...

Vincent looks at Max...squirming under the exposure.

MAX: Mom, Vincent's not interested. (to Vincent) Let's go.

VINCENT: No. I am interested.

IDA: What's your name, again?

VINCENT: Vincent...

MAX: I came to see you. I saw you. You look fine. Let's go.

He's kissed her and wants to get out of there.

IDA: Limousine companies.

VINCENT: Yeah?

IDA He drives famous people around, you know?

VINCENT: Limousine companies? What an achievement...

Max heads for the door...

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I really like the character stuff because stakes deepen layers, which is emotionally enriching (vs. non-stop wall-to-wall action that can be emotionally numbing).

Collateral (2004)(8/24/03 draft w/revisions)
by Stuart Beattie, with revisions by Frank Darabont, Michael Mann

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Insider (1999) - Subtext --> Actors --> Aha! Bridge

[Quick Summary: 60 Minutes producer Lowell Bergman fights his parent company (CBS) which shuts down his hot story about tobacco whistleblower Jeffrey Wigand.]

In an interview, writer/director Michael Mann stated that his focus was subtext:

INTERVIEWER: There seem to be five things going on in every scene.

MANN: I wanted to direct, I tried to direct the subtext.

He then mentions a particular scene (below):
(Note that:
- Wigand has been fired from working at B&W, a tobacco company.
- Wigand is bound by a confidentiality agreement to B& W, but wants to talk.
- Lowell is asking for Wigand's help on a case unrelated to B&W.)

 INT. A HOTEL ROOM, LOUISVILLE - EARLY EVENING

...WIGAND: Should I just take the documents now?

LOWELL: If you want to do it.

He turns to leave...Lowell gets the door for him...Wigand momentarily slows...

WIGAND: I worked as the head of Research and Development for Brown & Williamson Tobacco company. I was a Corporate Vice President. Mr. Bergman...

And he goes out the door... Lowell's still. Wigand's job title resonates. Lowell turns to the window, casually looking into the early evening...and he comes face to face with what Wigand was staring at, The Brown & Williamson Tobacco Company Headquarters Building, lit up right across the street...

Mann spoke about how the actors played the subtext to get us to the aha! moment:

Al Pacino just took over Lowell’s great reporter’s intuition to sit there and laser-scan Jeffrey with his eyes. You know, he looks at him, looks at him, and doesn’t move, until, after all the fidgeting and shuffling with the papers, Russell, as Jeffrey, gets to say his great line—”I was a corporate vice president”—with the attitude “Once upon a time, I was a very important person.” And that [Mann snaps his fingers] is when Lowell has it. Suddenly, here’s the significance of this meeting: “He’s the former head of research and development at Browne & Williamson Tobacco Company, and he wants to talk to me.” Without hitting anything on the head with exposition, without any of that awful dialogue, like “Boy, have I got a lead which may give us the newsbreak of the decade,” you know that Lowell knows he’s on the scent of a helluva story.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This example shows what subtext is needed to be on the page for the actors to play that kind of subtext.

The Insider (1999)(11/5/99 draft)
by Eric Roth and Michael Mann

TODAY'S NUGGET: Last of the Mohicans (1992) - Describing What the Insult Feels Like

[Quick Summary: An Englishman, adopted as a boy by the Mohicans, fights off French soldiers and a Huron war party.]

SHORT VERSION: It's a fine script for the historical drama it is trying to convey.  However, I'm not sure why I wasn't as moved as I'd hoped.

MY FAVORITE LINE: I thought the descriptor of Cora (below) was very accurate in terms of how the men view her.

Also, it shows how Heyward, who wants to marry Cora, was a bad match. 

INT. MUNRO'S HEADQUARTERS - CORA - NIGHT

...WIDEN: Heyward, Munro, Cora. We've entered mid-argument. An adjutant comes and goes. Heyward and Munro are sensitive to appearances in front of the adjutant. Cora couldn't give a damn.

...HEYWARD: And who are these colonials to pass judgment on England's policies in her possessions? And come and go without so much as a "by your leave?"

CORA: They do not live their lives "by your leave." (beat) They hack it out of the wilderness with tehir own two hands, burying their dead along the way.

HEYWARD (distant): You are defending him because you've become infatuated with him.

Cora is having her intelligence written off as a hormone attack. [This perfectly describes what the insult feels like.] She contains her fury.

CORA: Duncan, you are a man with a few admirable qualities. But taken as a whole, I was wrong to have thought so highly of you.

Heyward's shot through the heart.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Sometimes only a metaphor can describe a feeling.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992)(7/31/90 2nd draft, revised)
by Michael Mann
Adapted by Michael Mann and Christopher Crowe
Based on the novel by James Fenimore Cooper and the 1936 screenplay by Philip Dunne

TODAY'S NUGGET: Manhunter (1986) - What "Cinematic" Looks Like On the Page

[Quick Summary: Graham, a forensic specialist needs Dr. Lecter's help to track down the Red Dragon, a serial killer.]

I've always known that screenwriting was difficult, but I didn't know WHY.

So far, I've realized:
1) It requires a certain kind of skill set.  Some have it, others don't.
2) NO ONE has been able to explain it well.
3) Reading scripts for gems is the only way I've been able to figure it out.

For example, you'll see the phrase "cinematic" thrown around a lot.  A script should be "cinematic." Do you know what that is?  I couldn't figure it out (see #2 above).

Luckily, there's a great example in today's script.

In the scene below:
- Graham (protagonist) has asked for Price to do further tests.
- They are getting results from Price over a speaker phone.
-  I think it's cinematic and lands well because its visuals rely on: a) the non-reaction of Graham AND b) the reaction of Springfield.
- I will also note that this is a skill only born from a lot of writing experience and the confidence from having written a great deal.*

INT. ATLANTA DETECTIVE BUREAU - SQUAD ROOM

...CRAWFORD: Jimmie, it's me, Jack Crawford, and you got Will Graham here.

JIMMIE PRICE (V.O.): I got a partial print with a tented arch that's probably a thumb and a fragment of a palm off the nail of Mrs. Leeds' left big toe. (beat) Thumbprint came off the oldest kid's left eye. It stood out against an eight-ball hemorrhage from the gunshot wound.

CRAWFORD: Can you make an identification off it?

JIMMIE PRICE (V.O.): Maybe. If he's ever been printed and in my Index.  It want to work these up in my own darkroom. I'll fax the prints down to you this afternoon.

Hangs up.

SPRINGFIELD

thought Graham was ridiculous about the eyes and the killer touching Mrs. Leeds. Now Springfield's expression is very changed.

GRAHAM'S

face is blank as he leaves. The gratification is all in Crawford's look to Springfield. Springfield watches Graham all the way to the door, then follows him out.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Though it was visual, I really felt Graham get his due from Springfield. To me, that's what is cinematic: Seeing what the characters feel.**

Manhunter (1986)(8/12/85 draft)
by Michael Mann
Based on the novel, "Red Dragon," by Thomas Harris

*Why do I say this? Because the writer is ending a scene in a very cinematic, visual manner and it works.  Because only someone who has written a lot and knows what works does not care that every screenwriting book will say it is "incorrect" because it should "show, don't tell."

**Or as actor Toby Jones put it: "...the thing about screen acting is that you can read people's thoughts. You are trying to register something inside and usually the eyes in cinema are where you will register that."