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[Quick Summary: When a jewelry heist goes wrong, a net closes in on the crooked cop, the financier, a hooligan, and the brain.]
I was fascinated by this 20 min. video about Asphalt Jungle's visual style.
I was particularly interested in the complex diner scene (at 12:35-14:48): 3 men, a cat, shifts from foreground, background, 2 shot, ceiling, etc.
Was it like that on the page? In short, yes and no.
Yes, the conflict was there. No, the staging and composition were not.
However, because the writers* did their jobs and created great conflict on the page, the director and cinematographer had great building blocks to do their jobs.
Here's what that conflict looked like on the page:
MED. SHOT - INT. GUS'S HAMBURGER JOINT - NIGHT
A truck driver stands at the magazine rack, eating a king-sized hamburger and stealing looks at the girl pictures in a movie magazine. The cat jumps on to the counter and Gus starts feeding him meat, bite by bite. Dix enters. He and Gus exchange nods. Dix takes a seat at the counter.
...TRUCK DRIVER: How do you mean, Humpty-Dumpty?
GUS: I mean you don't belong around here. You're just passing through - only not fast enough.
Gus comes around the counter with surprising speed. He seizes the truck driver by the arm; whirls him around; grabs the seat of his pants; jerks it up tight until the big fellow is on his tip-toes; then "Spanish walks" him swiftly to the front door, where he gives the flabbergasted driver a push.
GUS: And if I ever see you running over a cat, I'll kick your teeth out.
The driver stands staring at Gus, trying to recover from the surprise attack. He is unable to make up his mind whether to clout the little hunchback or beat a dignified retreat.
DRIVER: I'd take you apart if you were a foot taller, and straightened out a little.
Gus steps toward the driver, carrying his hands low. The driver hurriedly gets into his truck. Gus comes back into his join. Dix watches Gus turn the lock in the door, and pull the window blinds. Dix is smiling for a change.
GUS: I suppose you want your heater back? Well, you ain't goin' to get it! What do you think of that?
DIX: Quit kidding Gus!
GUS: I mean it...
Dix stops smiling.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Help your collaborators. Keep the conflict moving on the page.
The Asphalt Jungle (1950)
by Ben Maddow and John Huston
Based on the novel by W.R. Burnett
*FYI: One of the writers was also the director, so that was helpful.
[Quick Summary: 1960s gangsters Reggie and Ronald Kray terrorize London.]
Q & A With Myself
Q: Did you like the script?
A: Not really. It's well written, but not really.
Q: Why didn't you like the script?
A: I want a script to make me understand the characters' points of view, which it did. However, the emotional stakes plateaued, despite much chaos and violence.
Q: Could you give an example?
A: Ronnie likes harming people, no remorse. His biggest fear is that Reggie will leave him. Reggie's biggest fear is that his wife Frances will leave. When bad things happen, they rage, but there is little emotional consequences or suspense.*
Q: Was there anything particularly good in the script?
A: I can tell this passing door scene was written to be shot. It's a clever transition because we're taken into a room without us noticing. It's at least two camera moves.
EXT. KENSINGTON GORE - DAY
STEFAN DE FAYE walks cheerily along. Young and bright, he checks an address on a business card, enters a BUILDING.
FRANCES (V.O.): London was an open city and the Krays moved in.
CUT TO:
A POV IN A HALLWAY
On a SECRETARY'S BACK approaching double wooden doors. As she swings them open, Stefan De Faye passes and we are now in... [Camera is in front of de Faye. 3rd person, objective POV.]
THE OFFICE
LESLIE PAYNE smiles from his desk, looking good in a suit.
PAYNE: Mr. de Faye, glad you could come. [Camera has become de Faye's POV]
DE FAYE (steps forward): Mr. Payne. I'm not often intrigued, but your message, it intrigued.
PAYNE: Please. Sit down.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the unconsciousness of that transition. It's simple, clear, but accomplishes a lot.
Legend (2015)(final shooting draft)
by Brian Helgeland
*I wonder if this is the reason for the excessive use of Frances's voice over? To at least give Reggie a conscience?
[Quick Summary: In 1947, Jackie Robinson, the first black player in the MLB, struggles with distraction, racism in his first year with the Brooklyn Dodgers.]
TWO THOUGHTS:
1) FOCUSED. I liked this script because it focused on Jackie playing baseball.
That sounds simple, but scripts tend to get preachy and glossy when it comes to portraying sports figures who have borne social strife and emerged triumphant.
2) FEMALE & INVOLVED. I liked that Rachel, Jackie's wife, was not a bystander or reactor. She was a participant, and equally affected emotionally as Jackie.
To show this, the writer seemed to choose parallel emotional situations for Rachel.
In the scene below, we experience the same kinds of hatred and racism that came at Jackie, but through her POV:
EXT. EBBETS FIELD STANDS (BETWEEN FIRST AND HOME) - DAY
[Rachel sits in the stands with racists who shout taunts at Jackie.]
...Rachel stares ahead, tries to maintain. She shows them her back, sits up as straight as she can. Her movements heroic.
INT. BROOKLYN CITY BUS - DAY
Jack and Rachel ride home. Forlorn, she stares out.
RACHEL: Oh Jack...
JACK: What is it, Rae?
RACHEL: Nothing. It's just, sometimes when I sit up there with those bastards, those loudmouths in the stands, I know you can hear them.
JACK: Don't worry. It's okay.
RACHEL: No, it's not okay. And I can hear them, too.
Jack looks at her, takes her hand in his.
JACK: I know. I'm sorry for that.
Rachel squeezes his hand back.
RACHEL: We're in it together. When they start in on you, you know what I do? I try to sit up as straight.
JACK: Yeah?
RACHEL: Straight as I can. I got it in my head that I can block it from you, some of it, if I can sit up straight. (a sad smile) Isn't that dumb?
Closing the space between them, he takes her hand.
JACK: It worked. I didn't hear a thing.
She tries to smile. As the tears streak her cheeks, he leans in kisses her forehead.
JACK: They're just ignorant.
RACHEL: If they knew you, they'd be ashamed.
She puts her arm around him, draws that strength.
JACK: Hold on.
RACHEL: I am holding on.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One of the ways to show a female character is equally involved is to have her share the weight of the emotional journey.
42 (2013)(3/14/12 shooting script, w/revisions)
by Brian Helgeland
[Quick Summary: When efforts to uncover evidence of weapons of mass destruction are thwarted, a US Army officer smells something fishy and goes rogue.]
Any time Ebert's review says, "[T]his is one hell of a thriller," I pay attention.
One of the things the script does well is reduce an intimidating, complicated larger story (WMD) into a manageable personal one.
Also, the character is interesting. Miller is a guy who does not like to be played. He's told to find X, but when he arrives someone else is already there taking X.
So what does he do in this lawless land? He goes against his law abiding habits and does something radical, like taking a body out of a morgue - as leverage.
INT. MORGUE - CAMP CROPPER - DAY
...They fan out, begin lifting tarps, unzipping body bags, rolling a few FACE-DOWNS over.
Potts trips over a leg. Fuck! That creeps them out.
Miller crouches down, unzips a bodybag. Some OLD MAN. Another: a guy with a beard. He takes a step to another, unzips...Jackpot. There's the GENERAL, a dark bruised crease across his forehead.
MILLER (CONT'D): Sonuvabitch.
The guys crowd around, look over the top of Miller.
MILLER (CONT'D): I mean sonuvabitch! This guy knew.
PERRY: Not anymore...
Another thought hits Miller. Urgent. He zips the bag.
MILLER: Let's get him out of here.
POTTS: What?
MICHAELS: Chief, you okay?
MILLER: I'll explain later. Let's get him out. Before they come back down.
Miller grabs a corner of the bag. A beat and they move to help. As they start hauling the body bag of there...
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: "Going rogue" is a discrepancy in the usual behavior.
It assumes: a) you've established a pattern of previous behavior, and b) a discrepancy which is big and significant for the character, but not necessarily big like an explosion.
Green Zone (2010)(undated)*
by Brian Helgeland
Based on "Imperial Life in the Emerald City: Inside Iraq's Green Zone," by Rajiv Chandrasekaran
*The cover page of this undated draft says "by Paul Greengrass" (director). Thus, I am not sure how much of this draft is actually the writer's or the director's.
[Quick Summary: When an ex-army security guard fails to protect his client, a precocious 9 yr. old girl in Mexico City, he exacts his own justice on the killers.]
This script impressed me because:
1) It spends a 50% developing the relationship between Creasy and 9 yr. old Pinta.
2) With these emotional stakes established, his rage is easier to justify in the last 50%. He begins emotionally dead --> she brings him hope --> she is kidnapped --> he retaliates.
In the scene below, notice the small things Pinta does that gives Creasy hope: She pays attention to what he's been doing. She's amusing. She gives him her trust.
INT. MERCEDES - ROLLING - DAY
Creasy driving. Pinta looking noble and brave.
...PINTA (distant): You should break all my fingers, Creasy, then tape them back together. I wont' be able to play the piano, but I could still swim.
CREASY: Don't be a baby. You're tougher than that.
PINTA: There's no such thing as tough, Creasy. Just trained and untrained.
CREASY (smiles): Then be trained.
PINTA: I'm going to keep people safe someday. Just like you.
CREASY: Be a swimmer.
PINTA: I could do it. Remember the day you wanted the pencil? I know why. And I saw that car again. I wrote the license number in my notebook. Except I missed the last number.
Creasy checks his mirror, nothing back there now. He then looks at Pinta. A bit amazed.
CREASY: You'll have to show me that number when we get home.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't be afraid to take your time laying the emotional stakes. The action later will have more impact because of that investment.
Man on Fire (2004)(2/10/03, v.2)
by Brian Helgeland
Based on the novel by A.J. Quinnell
[Quick Summary: Three childhood friends linked by guilt come back in contact when one of their daughters is found murdered.]
I'd avoided this script for a long time, but it is not nearly as graphic as I'd feared. In fact, it is a well written thriller with great subtext.
One reason is that it follows the adage that "dialogue should do more than one thing at one time."
In the scene below:
- Sean and Whitey are cops interviewing the grieving father Jimmy.
- Notice how the dialogue reveals Jimmy's character (vindictive), mood (impatience), and creates tension (he's threatening to exact his own justice).
INT. MARCUS KITCHEN - DAY
...WHITEY: How about this, Mr. Marcus. We've been talking to witnesses, canvassing people who might've been in the bars and we've run into more than a few people, who were questioned before us by one or more of the Savage brothers.
JIMMY: So?
SEAN: So the Savage brothers are not policemen, Jimmy.
JIMMY: Some people won't talk to the police.
WHITEY: Just so we're clear, and with all due respect, this is our case.
JIMMY: How long?
WHITEY: How long what?
JIMMY: How long would you say till you put Katie's killer in jail? I need to know.
WHITEY: Are you bargaining with us?
JIMMY: Bargaining?
WHITEY: Are you giving us a deadline? (off no answer) We'll speak for Katie, Mr. Marcus. If that's okay?
JIMMY: Find her killer, Sergeant. I'm not standing in your way.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I like that it's not just a threat, but also foreshadows future violence, and that keeps the tension high.
Mystic River (2003)(shooting script)
by Brian Helgeland
Based on the novel by Dennis Lehane
[Quick Summary: A country boy, who becomes the driver of a rich man's son in Delhi, climbs his way out of poverty, but not without dark humor and corruption.]
How do you show a character (gasp!) thinking? Usually by a physical gesture.
But what if it is even more difficult, ex. a complex thought like changing one's mind or mental anguish?
Writers are always looking for new way to show "thinking," and was impressed in the gesture in the scene below.
First, I'd not seen it anywhere else before. Second, the addition of the internal monologue helps the actor strike the right tone.
FYI: Italics = Hindi.
INT. ASHOK'S DELHI APARTMENT - AFTERNOON
...Balram serves them lunch.
BALRAM: Here you are, sir.
ASHOK: I don't want food right now.
BALRAM: I made it like we had together the other night, sir.
Mukesh wonders what this is about.
ASHOK: I don't give a shit.
BALRAM: Just a taste, sir.
Ashok slaps the food out of his hand, sending it crashing to the floor, the bowl breaking apart.
ASHOK: I said I'm not hungry....Get lost.
MUKESH: He doesn't feel like it, why are you up his ass! Get rid of it, you fucker.
ASHOK: Just leave me alone for a fucking second.
Balram walks away with the tray.
MUKESH: Until Ashok Sir calls you, don't hover over him like a fly!
BALRAM: Yes, sir.
INT. ASHOK'S DELHI APARTMENT; ELEVATOR - MOMENTS LATER
Balram pinches his hand hard, again and again. - Why am I still in servitude to this man?
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: One way to show mental anguish is using an unusual repetitive gesture.
The White Tiger (2020)
by Ramin Bahrani
Based on the novel by Aravind Adiga
[Quick Summary: Boxer Cassius Clay, singer Sam Cooke, preacher Malcolm X, and football player Jim Brown spend a night together in Miami, 1964.]
What is "craft"? To me, it's the ability to wield words simply, precisely, economically.
How does one get it? Experience over time (and it's generally a long time).
What does it look like? As an example, the scene below explains a "dap" gesture.
Notice how the writer uses simple words and keeps the motion flowing from one guy to the next. It's also an economical way to show friction and differences.
Also, he does not belabor the explanation. If you can't envision it, it's ok. All you need to know is that the guys tried to connect with a some kind of cool move.
INT. HAMPTON HOUSE MOTEL - MALCOLM'S ROOM
...JIM: Well, what flavor is it?
MALCOLM: Well, we have vanilla, Jimmy, and...
Malcolm looks back into the fridge.
MALCOLM (CONT'D): ...vanilla.
JIM: Shit.
SAM (chuckles): How is that for some irony?
MALCOLM: Last time I checked, vanilla was your flavor of choice.
JIM AND CASSIUS (mocking):Oooooooooooooh....
Sam respects this witty retort, as he turns to Jim and Cassius, who both have an expression that says, simply: "Damn." Malcolm and Sam both laugh as Sam holds out his hand for some "dap."
MALCOLM: That's right, jack...
Malcolm slides Sam some "skin," an older dap that signifies the generational difference. Sam just stares at his hand as the pleased Malcolm laughs to himself as he returns to the fridge to put one tub of ice cream back, before closing it.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I used to equate fewer words = clearer. But it's not necessarily fewer words... it's the RIGHT combination of words.
One Night in Miami (2020)
by Kemp Powers
Based on his original stage play
[Quick Summary: Fern (60s) learns to survive in her first year living out of her van.]
Fern is a college graduate, self-sufficient, kind, but stand-offish. She lost her beloved, well-liked husband a year ago, and packed up everything into a van.
I got the sense that he was the more sociable one, the one who connected her to the world. I don't think she realizes how she's emotionally adrift or who she is now.
One of the strongest thing about this script is how you experience Fern's emotional arc with the passage of time.
Sometimes months will pass and Fern is the exact same. Sometimes a day will pass and she has grown enormously (see below).
In the scenes below:
- Fern met fellow nomad Dave on the road and they got along well. However, his son James had a baby and wanted Dave to come home. Dave invited Fern to come, but she refused.
- Fern has now finally made it to Dave's house.
- Notice in the flow of visuals shows us how she feels, but the audience must participate to give it meaning: sharp longing for things that anchor --> family is Dave's anchor, what is hers? --> she realizes this is not her --> she leaves.
INT. DAVE'S HOUSE - STAIRS - LATER
Fern carries her laundry down the stairs. She hears music and looks into the study --
Dave and James are playing the piano together. A simple melody in beautiful synchronicity -- something father and son had played together many times in the past.
Fern watches them. She is moved at first, smiling gently. Then, something restless stirs inside of her. She suddenly feels a little short of breath.
INT. DAVE'S HOUSE - GUEST ROOM - THAT NIGHT
Fern lies in bed, unable to sleep. She stares at the ceiling. It feels too tall.
She gets up and walks out of the dark room.
EXT. DAVE'S HOUSE - NIGHT
Fern walks out of the house and runs to Vanguard.
She climbs in, closes the door and lies under the covers.
She touches the ceiling. A moment. She closes her eyes.
EXT. DAVE'S HOUSE - NEXT MORNING
Dark clouds on the horizon. A storm is approaching.
Fern stands outside Vanguard and smokes a cigarette.
She looks up at Dave's house. It's beautiful and tranquil.
INT. DAVE'S HOUSE - LIVING/DINING ROOM - MOMENTS LATER
Everyone is still asleep. The house is quiet.
Fern looks at the family photos of different generations on the wall. She recognizes a younger Dave with an infant James.
She sits down at the empty dining room table and looks around. Silence.
A moment passes, Fern gets up, quietly straightens the wooden chair and walks away.
EXT. ROAD IN TOWN - SAME MORNING
Large rain drops on windshield.
Fern drives through the quiet town lashed with wind and rain.
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed how the images told the story. I could see Fern thinking, "Is it easier to stay on the outside side than go in and attempt messy, emotional relationships?"
Nomadland (2020)(1/12/19 draft)
by Chloe Zhao
Based on the book by Jessica Bruder
