[Quick Summary: Andie, 18 y.o., who is not rich, falls for Blane, a rich kid, much to the chagrin of Andie's old friend Duckie.]
Yes, I know that poor girl dating a rich guy is an "old, old, old" plot.
Yes, the story could've been more modernized.
However, the good things in the script far outweigh the bad things.
The way Hughes wrote about the way teens interacted in the 1980s is timeless.
For example, he nails the cattiness of the two mean girls in the scene below. They are caught being rude, and make it worse by rebuffing Andie's kind gesture.
NOTE:
- Andie is paying attention in class to the teacher. The rich girls whisper and gossip about Andie. The teacher stops teaching to ask what is going on.
ex. "ANDIE
She sinks in her seat. The teacher, rather than make it better, is making it worse.
ANDIE (to herself): Just shut up lady. Please.
TEACHER
She looks at Andie.
TEACHER: I apologize on behalf of my class.
ANDIE
She nods, just wishing everybody would forget her.
TEACHER
She does the unthinkable.
TEACHER: Ms. Trombley and Ms. Hanson will be thinking of you tonight... (to the class) ...as they analyze an extra sonnet.
THE TWO GIRLS
Their faces freeze.
ANDIE
She raises her hand.
ANDIE: Don't bother with the sonnets. Don't worry about it. Everything's cool.
Andie looks across at the girls.
THE GIRLS
They stare at Andie. One of them raises her hand.
GIRL: We'll take the sonnets.
She throws Andie an icy smile.
ANDIE
She returns it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Andie's maturity was seen in her response to the mean girls. She extended kindness to girls she didn't like, and when it was rebuffed, she didn't doubt herself.
Pretty in Pink (1986)(5th draft, 5/9/85)
by John Hughes
Monday, April 22, 2019
Monday, April 15, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Breakfast Club (1985) - Changing the Tone to Reinforce Theme
[Quick Summary: During a Saturday detention, five unconnected high schoolers discover they have more in common than they thought.]
If you were alive in the 1980s, this was one of the "must see" films of the decade.*
(I think one reason is that Hughes portrays teens as they are: messy, opinionated, unvarnished, uncensored.)
I read two undated drafts, A (earlier) and B (later). They are the same story, but B is shorter and more polished.
I also thought B was the better draft because its tone reinforces the theme.
For example, I think one of the themes is about making unlikely friendships.
In Draft A (below), the tone is rather ironic and sad, i.e., divided and lonely.
In Draft B (below), the tone is more allied and upbeat, i.e., unified and together.
Which one reinforces friendship and feeling connected? Draft B.
DRAFT A (Earlier draft):
ex. "The kids continue laughing. Allison speaks up.
ALLISON: I can beat that.
The kids look at her.
ALLISON: You know what I did to get in here?
BRIAN: This should be classic!
The kids are anticipating a good laugh.
ALLISON: Nothing. (pause) I didn't have anything better to do today.
There's no laughter. Just incredulous stares and silence."
DRAFT B (Later draft):
ex. "Andrew starts to laugh.
BRIAN: It's not funny...
They all start to laugh, including Brian.
BRIAN: Yes it is...fuckin' elephant was destroyed.
ALLISON: You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do.
Everyone laughs.
ALLISON: You're laughing at me...
ANDREW: No!
Allison starts to laugh too.
ALLISON: Yeah you are!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised how very few words were changed between Draft A and B, but the tone was completely different.
Breakfast Club (1985)(undated, "Draft B" noted above)
by John Hughes
*As a side note, the Library of Congress' entered it into the National Film Registry in 2016. These are films that important for "their cultural, historic and aesthetic importance to the nation’s film heritage."
If you were alive in the 1980s, this was one of the "must see" films of the decade.*
(I think one reason is that Hughes portrays teens as they are: messy, opinionated, unvarnished, uncensored.)
I read two undated drafts, A (earlier) and B (later). They are the same story, but B is shorter and more polished.
I also thought B was the better draft because its tone reinforces the theme.
For example, I think one of the themes is about making unlikely friendships.
In Draft A (below), the tone is rather ironic and sad, i.e., divided and lonely.
In Draft B (below), the tone is more allied and upbeat, i.e., unified and together.
Which one reinforces friendship and feeling connected? Draft B.
DRAFT A (Earlier draft):
ex. "The kids continue laughing. Allison speaks up.
ALLISON: I can beat that.
The kids look at her.
ALLISON: You know what I did to get in here?
BRIAN: This should be classic!
The kids are anticipating a good laugh.
ALLISON: Nothing. (pause) I didn't have anything better to do today.
There's no laughter. Just incredulous stares and silence."
DRAFT B (Later draft):
ex. "Andrew starts to laugh.
BRIAN: It's not funny...
They all start to laugh, including Brian.
BRIAN: Yes it is...fuckin' elephant was destroyed.
ALLISON: You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do.
Everyone laughs.
ALLISON: You're laughing at me...
ANDREW: No!
Allison starts to laugh too.
ALLISON: Yeah you are!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised how very few words were changed between Draft A and B, but the tone was completely different.
Breakfast Club (1985)(undated, "Draft B" noted above)
by John Hughes
*As a side note, the Library of Congress' entered it into the National Film Registry in 2016. These are films that important for "their cultural, historic and aesthetic importance to the nation’s film heritage."
Monday, April 8, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Only When I Laugh (1981) - Showing Disappointment with Non-Verbals
[Quick Summary: An actress, newly out of rehab, struggles to manage her sobriety, her daughter, and seeking a new job.]
I think the genius of Neil Simon scripts is that it looks simple on the surface.
However, the structure and conflict has great depth and complexity.
For example, the scene below is about:
- a long standing disappointment
- the external and internal conflicts that one feels
- use of non-verbals
First, note that each character has his or her own INTERNAL conflict:
- For Georgia, who has just fallen off the wagon: disappointment in herself.
- For her friend Jimmy: feeling let down by his faith in her temporary sobriety.
Then, note that there is also another layer of EXTERNAL conflict between them:
- For Georgia: guilt, needing reassurance from someone that she's offended.
- For Jimmy: irritation at her repeated offenses and love
Finally, the audience understands all of this through one character not looking at the other character, silence, a hand squeeze.
ex. "INT. TAXI - NIGHT
Jimmy and Georgia sitting on opposite sides, looking out opposite windows, wordlessly.
GEORGIA: ...I think I fucked up, didn't I?
Jimmy doesn't say a word. She looks toward him.
GEORGIA: Give me your hand...Jimmy? Give me your hand... I'm cold.
He doesn't look at her but reaches over and puts his hand on top of hers and gently squeezes it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that so much disappointment could be conveyed by Jimmy's non-verbals.
Only When I Laugh (1981)(3rd draft (July, 1980))
by Neil Simon
Based on his play, "The Gingerbread Lady"
I think the genius of Neil Simon scripts is that it looks simple on the surface.
However, the structure and conflict has great depth and complexity.
For example, the scene below is about:
- a long standing disappointment
- the external and internal conflicts that one feels
- use of non-verbals
First, note that each character has his or her own INTERNAL conflict:
- For Georgia, who has just fallen off the wagon: disappointment in herself.
- For her friend Jimmy: feeling let down by his faith in her temporary sobriety.
Then, note that there is also another layer of EXTERNAL conflict between them:
- For Georgia: guilt, needing reassurance from someone that she's offended.
- For Jimmy: irritation at her repeated offenses and love
Finally, the audience understands all of this through one character not looking at the other character, silence, a hand squeeze.
ex. "INT. TAXI - NIGHT
Jimmy and Georgia sitting on opposite sides, looking out opposite windows, wordlessly.
GEORGIA: ...I think I fucked up, didn't I?
Jimmy doesn't say a word. She looks toward him.
GEORGIA: Give me your hand...Jimmy? Give me your hand... I'm cold.
He doesn't look at her but reaches over and puts his hand on top of hers and gently squeezes it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that so much disappointment could be conveyed by Jimmy's non-verbals.
Only When I Laugh (1981)(3rd draft (July, 1980))
by Neil Simon
Based on his play, "The Gingerbread Lady"
Monday, April 1, 2019
2019 OSCARS: A Star is Born (2018) - One Intent Per Scene
[Quick Summary: Superstar Jackson Maine meets Ally, a promising singer.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) It reads fast. I was not excited to read a 137 pg. script.
However, it is reads fast and the scenes are clear.
2) One intent per scene. I also think it reads quickly because it does not try to do too much, i.e., it sticks to one intent per scene, rather several.
In the scene below: Note that it seems long on the page at first glance.
However, it will read fast because it is all one thought.
ex. "INT. BILTMORE HOTEL - BATHROOM - WIDE SHOT - DAY
PAN ALONG the bottom of a number of stalls. The bathroom seemingly empty... Until we hear a HUSHED VOICE and see two feet in heels in a stall down at the end.
ALLY (O.S.)(into phone): Roger...You're a wonderful man, yes, and you're a great lawyer. We're ust not meant to be together.
ANOTHER ANGLE - INSIDE THE STALL
ALLY CAMPANA, (early 30s) is on her cell phone.
ALLY (into phone): No, I don't wanna marry you -- are you crazy?!? The hell's the matter with you? Roger, we're done. Oh, God.
She hangs up, opens the door to the stall, and screams bloody murder.
ALLY: Fucking men!
She pulls herself together."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the intent of a scene crisp and clear. Don't overload a scene with too many ideas. A short script with half-baked ideas is just as bad.
A Star is Born (2018)(final, 10/5/18)
by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters
Based on the 1954 screenplay by Moss Hart and the 1976 screenplay by John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion and Frank Pierson
Based on a story by William Wellman and Robert Carson
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) It reads fast. I was not excited to read a 137 pg. script.
However, it is reads fast and the scenes are clear.
2) One intent per scene. I also think it reads quickly because it does not try to do too much, i.e., it sticks to one intent per scene, rather several.
In the scene below: Note that it seems long on the page at first glance.
However, it will read fast because it is all one thought.
ex. "INT. BILTMORE HOTEL - BATHROOM - WIDE SHOT - DAY
PAN ALONG the bottom of a number of stalls. The bathroom seemingly empty... Until we hear a HUSHED VOICE and see two feet in heels in a stall down at the end.
ALLY (O.S.)(into phone): Roger...You're a wonderful man, yes, and you're a great lawyer. We're ust not meant to be together.
ANOTHER ANGLE - INSIDE THE STALL
ALLY CAMPANA, (early 30s) is on her cell phone.
ALLY (into phone): No, I don't wanna marry you -- are you crazy?!? The hell's the matter with you? Roger, we're done. Oh, God.
She hangs up, opens the door to the stall, and screams bloody murder.
ALLY: Fucking men!
She pulls herself together."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the intent of a scene crisp and clear. Don't overload a scene with too many ideas. A short script with half-baked ideas is just as bad.
A Star is Born (2018)(final, 10/5/18)
by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters
Based on the 1954 screenplay by Moss Hart and the 1976 screenplay by John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion and Frank Pierson
Based on a story by William Wellman and Robert Carson
Monday, March 25, 2019
2019 OSCARS: If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) - Six Women; Releasing the Tension
[Quick Summary: In Harlem, Tish, 18, and her family come together to get Fonny, 21, Tish's fiancee, out of jail for an unjust incarceration.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) "[T]hese six women alone now in this house." I thought that this was a nice, simple way to explain the tone shift to come, i.e., how women speak to each other when men are not around.
2) Releasing the tension. There is a very tense scene in an Italian grocery store:
- Tish is felt up by an Italian punk and slaps him.
- Fonny runs into the store.
- A policeman accuses Fonny but Tish speaks up to defend him.
- The Italian owner confirms Tish's version.
- Fonny barely says anything at all.
In the next scene, we see the release of all the tension.
Also, I liked that there were two very different viewpoints: Fonny felt emasculated, but Tish had no idea that her actions were contributing to it.
ex. "EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT - MOVING
Tish and Fonny moving quietly down the sidewalk.
Fonny holds the bag of tomatoes in the crook of one hand; the other arm he entwines through Tish's. They walk slowly.
FONNY: Tish...
TISH: Yes?
FONNY: Don't ever try to protect me.
TISH: But you were trying to protect me.
FONNY (heavy;quiet): It's not......the same......thing.
Fonny takes the bag of tomatoes...and smashes them against the nearest wall. They make a beautiful, chiaroscuro mess of streaking red. But, mercifully, they hardly make a sound.
The two of them standing apart now, Fonny with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, disgusted.
Tish with a hand covering his mouth, the other wrapped about herself. Fonny closing the space, takes her hand in his:
FONNY: Don't think I don't know you love me. You believe we going to make it?
Tish embracing him, a hand to his cheek, a very full kiss.
She draws back, starts to say something, but...he puts a finger to her lips. Smiles his little smile.
FONNY: Don't say a word. I'm going to take you out to dinner. At our Spanish place, you remember?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Scene A plays --> Scene B releases the tension --> Scene B reveals a different interpretation of Scene A.
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)
Written for the screen and directed by Barry Jenkins
Based on the book by James Baldwin
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) "[T]hese six women alone now in this house." I thought that this was a nice, simple way to explain the tone shift to come, i.e., how women speak to each other when men are not around.
2) Releasing the tension. There is a very tense scene in an Italian grocery store:
- Tish is felt up by an Italian punk and slaps him.
- Fonny runs into the store.
- A policeman accuses Fonny but Tish speaks up to defend him.
- The Italian owner confirms Tish's version.
- Fonny barely says anything at all.
In the next scene, we see the release of all the tension.
Also, I liked that there were two very different viewpoints: Fonny felt emasculated, but Tish had no idea that her actions were contributing to it.
ex. "EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT - MOVING
Tish and Fonny moving quietly down the sidewalk.
Fonny holds the bag of tomatoes in the crook of one hand; the other arm he entwines through Tish's. They walk slowly.
FONNY: Tish...
TISH: Yes?
FONNY: Don't ever try to protect me.
TISH: But you were trying to protect me.
FONNY (heavy;quiet): It's not......the same......thing.
Fonny takes the bag of tomatoes...and smashes them against the nearest wall. They make a beautiful, chiaroscuro mess of streaking red. But, mercifully, they hardly make a sound.
The two of them standing apart now, Fonny with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, disgusted.
Tish with a hand covering his mouth, the other wrapped about herself. Fonny closing the space, takes her hand in his:
FONNY: Don't think I don't know you love me. You believe we going to make it?
Tish embracing him, a hand to his cheek, a very full kiss.
She draws back, starts to say something, but...he puts a finger to her lips. Smiles his little smile.
FONNY: Don't say a word. I'm going to take you out to dinner. At our Spanish place, you remember?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Scene A plays --> Scene B releases the tension --> Scene B reveals a different interpretation of Scene A.
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)
Written for the screen and directed by Barry Jenkins
Based on the book by James Baldwin
Monday, March 18, 2019
2019 OSCARS: Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018) - Retain the Unpleasant; Protagonist as Antagonist
[Quick Summary: After an unpleasant, down-on-her-luck writer is suspected by the FBI, she enlists the help of a ne'er-do-well to continue to sell faked celebrity letters.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) RETAIN THE UNPLEASANT. Lee Israel was a difficult person.
I liked that this script did not try to soften those edges or excuse them. It merely showed the cause and effect of her idiosyncratic, but human, behavior.
ex. At a party at her agent's house, Lee feels the agent is brushing her off/rejecting her. Instead of dealing with the feeling, she steals someone else's nice coat.
2) PROTAGONIST AS ANTAGONIST. What do you do when the protagonist's greatest antagonist is herself? How do you externalize her fight with herself?
For Lee, I think she wanted to connect, but her unexamined issues got in the way.
This script does a nice job of putting Lee into situations where her flaws are on display and work against her being able to connect.
In the scene below, note:
- Lee owes three months rent. Andrei is nice to her.
- Lee is in the wrong, yet she continues to treads on his kindness and asks for another favor.
- Lee does not take responsibility for the lost job and blames others.
- The scene shows how Lee's imposing behaviors caused others to stay away.
ex. "INT. LEE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - ENTRYWAY - DAY
Lee enters her building, and upon seeing Andrei, 50s, Romanian, tries to turn around and go right back out, but he calls out.
ANDREI: MS. ISRAEL!
LEE: Hi, Andrei.
ANDREI: I knock on your door but you never answer. We're going on three months.
LEE: No, I know. I'm really sorry about that. I'm working on it.
ANDREI: I don't want to have to call the management.
LEE: Can you cut me a little slack? It's been a rough patch. I just lost my job. I think it was ageism.
ANDREI: Can't you write another book?
LEE: Last one was a bit of a calamity.
ANDREI: I like you, you've been here longer than I have, and you've always been kind to my mother. Just get it to me soon.
LEE: I will. Absolutely. Thank you.
Andrei start to walk away.
LEE (CONT'D): But hey, in the meantime, do you think you could get an exterminator in my apartment? I've got an untenable fly situation."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script is unusual because the protagonist is the main antagonist too. It must've been difficult to figure out how to externalize the internal fight.
Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)(final shooting script, 3/13/17)
by Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) RETAIN THE UNPLEASANT. Lee Israel was a difficult person.
I liked that this script did not try to soften those edges or excuse them. It merely showed the cause and effect of her idiosyncratic, but human, behavior.
ex. At a party at her agent's house, Lee feels the agent is brushing her off/rejecting her. Instead of dealing with the feeling, she steals someone else's nice coat.
2) PROTAGONIST AS ANTAGONIST. What do you do when the protagonist's greatest antagonist is herself? How do you externalize her fight with herself?
For Lee, I think she wanted to connect, but her unexamined issues got in the way.
This script does a nice job of putting Lee into situations where her flaws are on display and work against her being able to connect.
In the scene below, note:
- Lee owes three months rent. Andrei is nice to her.
- Lee is in the wrong, yet she continues to treads on his kindness and asks for another favor.
- Lee does not take responsibility for the lost job and blames others.
- The scene shows how Lee's imposing behaviors caused others to stay away.
ex. "INT. LEE'S APARTMENT BUILDING - ENTRYWAY - DAY
Lee enters her building, and upon seeing Andrei, 50s, Romanian, tries to turn around and go right back out, but he calls out.
ANDREI: MS. ISRAEL!
LEE: Hi, Andrei.
ANDREI: I knock on your door but you never answer. We're going on three months.
LEE: No, I know. I'm really sorry about that. I'm working on it.
ANDREI: I don't want to have to call the management.
LEE: Can you cut me a little slack? It's been a rough patch. I just lost my job. I think it was ageism.
ANDREI: Can't you write another book?
LEE: Last one was a bit of a calamity.
ANDREI: I like you, you've been here longer than I have, and you've always been kind to my mother. Just get it to me soon.
LEE: I will. Absolutely. Thank you.
Andrei start to walk away.
LEE (CONT'D): But hey, in the meantime, do you think you could get an exterminator in my apartment? I've got an untenable fly situation."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script is unusual because the protagonist is the main antagonist too. It must've been difficult to figure out how to externalize the internal fight.
Can You Ever Forgive Me? (2018)(final shooting script, 3/13/17)
by Nicole Holofcener and Jeff Whitty
Monday, March 11, 2019
2019 OSCARS: BlacKkKlansman (2018) - Tension; Intercutting for Compare & Contrast, Cause & Effect
[Quick Summary: This is the true story of Ron Stallworth, an African American cop in Denver, who infiltrated the KKK.]
TWO THINGS THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) RISING TENSION. This script was not super-fun to read, but it read smoothly. I particularly liked the continued rise in tension until the end.
2) INTERCUT A + INTERCUT B = COMPARE & CONTRAST
This script intercuts two simultaneous events (A, B) which makes the audience compare and contrast two opposing views.
In the scene below:
- Scene A: Jerome Turner, 90 y.o. black man, speaks to the Black Student Union about a public lynching of his friend.
- Scene B: Devin Davis, Grand Master of the Klan, initiates undercover cop Flip.
- Notice the intercutting of Turner and Davis makes the audience think about the cause and effect:
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER: I was working at the Shoe Shine Parlor. After the verdict, a Mob grabbed Jesse, wrapped a Chain around his Neck and dragged him out the Court House.
CLOSE - 3 SHOT - PATRICE, ODETTA, HAKEEM
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER: I knew I had to hide.
INT. PRIVATE ROOM - STEAKHOUSE - DAY
DEVIN DAVIS: Ron Stallworth. Are you a White, Non-Jewish American Citizen?
Flip is breathing hard.
FLIP: Yes.
DEVIN DAVIS:Yes, what?
FLIP: I am a White, Non-Jewish American Citizen.
INT. FREEDOM HOUSE - DAY
CLOSE - PATRICE
Tears rolls down her face.
JEROME TURNER (V.O.): The Attic of the Parlor had a Small Window and I watched below as The Mob marched Jesse along Stabbing and Beating him. Finally, they held Jesse down and cut his Testicles off in Front of City Hall.
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER (V.O.): The Police and city Officials were out there just watching like it was a 4th of July Parade.
INT. PRIVATE ROOM - STEAKHOUSE - DAY
Davis looks into Flip's Eyes. Flip returns The Stare.
DEVIN DAVIS: Are you in favor of a White Man's Government in this Country?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the deliberate intercutting of A and B to assist the audience in comparing and contrasting, in cause and effect.
It's not just a fancy technique for show.
BlacKkKlansman (2018)
by Charlie Wachtel & David Rabinowitz and Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee
TWO THINGS THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) RISING TENSION. This script was not super-fun to read, but it read smoothly. I particularly liked the continued rise in tension until the end.
2) INTERCUT A + INTERCUT B = COMPARE & CONTRAST
This script intercuts two simultaneous events (A, B) which makes the audience compare and contrast two opposing views.
In the scene below:
- Scene A: Jerome Turner, 90 y.o. black man, speaks to the Black Student Union about a public lynching of his friend.
- Scene B: Devin Davis, Grand Master of the Klan, initiates undercover cop Flip.
- Notice the intercutting of Turner and Davis makes the audience think about the cause and effect:
- past vs. present = We see that the present is still perpetuating past behaviors.
- pain vs. 'glory' = We see how that pain will continue because of these new members.
- new ideas vs. old ideas = Patrice and friends want a new world. Klan wants the old.
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER: I was working at the Shoe Shine Parlor. After the verdict, a Mob grabbed Jesse, wrapped a Chain around his Neck and dragged him out the Court House.
CLOSE - 3 SHOT - PATRICE, ODETTA, HAKEEM
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER: I knew I had to hide.
INT. PRIVATE ROOM - STEAKHOUSE - DAY
DEVIN DAVIS: Ron Stallworth. Are you a White, Non-Jewish American Citizen?
Flip is breathing hard.
FLIP: Yes.
DEVIN DAVIS:Yes, what?
FLIP: I am a White, Non-Jewish American Citizen.
INT. FREEDOM HOUSE - DAY
CLOSE - PATRICE
Tears rolls down her face.
JEROME TURNER (V.O.): The Attic of the Parlor had a Small Window and I watched below as The Mob marched Jesse along Stabbing and Beating him. Finally, they held Jesse down and cut his Testicles off in Front of City Hall.
CLOSE - JEROME TURNER
JEROME TURNER (V.O.): The Police and city Officials were out there just watching like it was a 4th of July Parade.
INT. PRIVATE ROOM - STEAKHOUSE - DAY
Davis looks into Flip's Eyes. Flip returns The Stare.
DEVIN DAVIS: Are you in favor of a White Man's Government in this Country?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked the deliberate intercutting of A and B to assist the audience in comparing and contrasting, in cause and effect.
It's not just a fancy technique for show.
BlacKkKlansman (2018)
by Charlie Wachtel & David Rabinowitz and Kevin Willmott & Spike Lee
Monday, March 4, 2019
2019 OSCARS: The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018) - Fables; Clear Geography
[Quick Summary: An anthology of stories from the old West, with a twist of dark drama and humor.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) FABLES. I did not enjoy reading this anthology.
I found it hard to grasp what it was trying to do.
However, I did like that these stories are like Aesop's Fables, with the moral of the story left up to the reader. One story with very little dialogue still haunts me.
2) CLEAR GEOGRAPHY. I liked how easy it was to follow the action.
I also like that the script assumes that you know a little about Westerns.
For example, the scene below assumes you know that bank "teller's bars" go up to the ceiling.
Also, the description of how the cowboy/robber moves is very easy to follow:
He moves down the counter --> on top of the counter --> up the bars --> drops off.
ex. "INT. BANK - DAY
The cowboy enters.
The one-room structure is empty except for a trapper with white hair and mustache behind the teller's bars, hands planted on the counter. He wears a black eyeshade and black sleevegarters.
....
The unmistakable clack of a shotgun-prime.
The cowboy's eyes widen. He takes a nimbly evasive step down the counter as --
ROAR! --wood from the base of the counter splinters outward where he'd just been standing.
ROAR!--another explosion further along.
The cowboy grabs the bars at one end of the counter and hoists himself. He stands perched on the counter lip, hugging the bars. The shotgun continues to roar.
He scales the bars and drops to the counter's far side."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't over-explain geography (and don't under-explain either).
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)
by Joel Cohen and Ethan Cohen
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) FABLES. I did not enjoy reading this anthology.
I found it hard to grasp what it was trying to do.
However, I did like that these stories are like Aesop's Fables, with the moral of the story left up to the reader. One story with very little dialogue still haunts me.
2) CLEAR GEOGRAPHY. I liked how easy it was to follow the action.
I also like that the script assumes that you know a little about Westerns.
For example, the scene below assumes you know that bank "teller's bars" go up to the ceiling.
Also, the description of how the cowboy/robber moves is very easy to follow:
He moves down the counter --> on top of the counter --> up the bars --> drops off.
ex. "INT. BANK - DAY
The cowboy enters.
The one-room structure is empty except for a trapper with white hair and mustache behind the teller's bars, hands planted on the counter. He wears a black eyeshade and black sleevegarters.
....
The unmistakable clack of a shotgun-prime.
The cowboy's eyes widen. He takes a nimbly evasive step down the counter as --
ROAR! --wood from the base of the counter splinters outward where he'd just been standing.
ROAR!--another explosion further along.
The cowboy grabs the bars at one end of the counter and hoists himself. He stands perched on the counter lip, hugging the bars. The shotgun continues to roar.
He scales the bars and drops to the counter's far side."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Don't over-explain geography (and don't under-explain either).
The Ballad of Buster Scruggs (2018)
by Joel Cohen and Ethan Cohen
Monday, February 25, 2019
2019 OSCARS: Vice (2018) - Unusual V.O. Narrator; A Strong Female Role
[Quick Summary: The life and rise of U.S. Vice President Dick Cheney, particularly after 9/11/01.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) USE OF AN UNSEEN NARRATOR. I don't think that I've seen a script before in which the the identity of a narrator is unknown until Act 3.
2) STRONG FEMALE ROLE. I think I remember hearing that Christian Bale (who plays Dick Cheney) said that the secret to Dick is Lynne. He's right.
I think that she is a very strong female role, in part because:
a) She is aware of the limitations for women of her era, but
b) It does not prevent her from standing on her own ground.
In the following scene, we see:
- A glimpse of Lynne's background
- Lynne laying her cards out and calling for a decision from Dick
- The chemistry between Lynne and Dick (bringing out the best in each other)
ex. "INT. LYNNE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME
DICK, WITH A BLACK EYE AND STAINS ON HIS SHIRT SITS ON THE COUCH.
LYNNE, 21, pretty and sharp, stands over him with a fury in her eyes.
LYNNE: Two times! Two times I had to drag you out of that jail like a filthy hobo!!
DICK: I'm sorry, Lynne...
LYNNE: What? What did you just say?
DICK: I'm sorry, Lynney.
LYNNE:You're sorry? Don't call me "Lynney!" One time is "I'm sorry." Two times makes me think I've picked the wrong man! They kicked your ass out of Yale for drinking and fighting! Now are you just a lush who's going to hang power lines for the state? Are we going to live in a trailer and have ten children!? Is that the plan?!
Dick looks like he might be sick.
DICK: Can we please...discuss this later?
LYNNE: No. We discuss it right now while you smell of piss and cheap booze!
EDNA, Lynne's Mom, starts to walk in.
EDNA: Does Dick want some coffee?
LYNNE: Mother get out! Does Dick want some coffee? Jesus Christ! (back to Dick) Here's my plan. Eight you stand up and put your back straight and have the courage to become someone or I am gone! There are a dozen men and a few Professors at school who would date me!
DICK: I love you, Lynne. I've loved you since the day I first saw you.
LYNNE: Then prove it! I can't go to a big Ivy League school! I can't run a company or be Mayor! That's just the way the world is for a girl! I need you! And right now you're a big fat piss soaked zero! (beat while she reloads) I've seen my Mother waiting up all night for my Father to come home. And I've seen him drunk in this house raising his voice and way worse, and I'm not dancing that dance anymore...I'm not!
QUICK FLASH BACK to Lynne's FATHER yelling at her MOTHER in the kitchen. Her dad is scary and has been drinking.
LYNNE (CONT'D): Can you change? Or am I wasting my goddamn time?
Beat as Dick looks up. There is a GROWLING DETERMINATION IN HIS EYES.
DICK: I won't ever disappoint you again Lynne.
FADE TO BLACK"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this female role because she offers him a decision, but does not shy away from laying out what she needs. Nothing namby-pamby.
Vice (2018)
Written & directed by Adam McKay
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) USE OF AN UNSEEN NARRATOR. I don't think that I've seen a script before in which the the identity of a narrator is unknown until Act 3.
2) STRONG FEMALE ROLE. I think I remember hearing that Christian Bale (who plays Dick Cheney) said that the secret to Dick is Lynne. He's right.
I think that she is a very strong female role, in part because:
a) She is aware of the limitations for women of her era, but
b) It does not prevent her from standing on her own ground.
In the following scene, we see:
- A glimpse of Lynne's background
- Lynne laying her cards out and calling for a decision from Dick
- The chemistry between Lynne and Dick (bringing out the best in each other)
ex. "INT. LYNNE'S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - SAME TIME
DICK, WITH A BLACK EYE AND STAINS ON HIS SHIRT SITS ON THE COUCH.
LYNNE, 21, pretty and sharp, stands over him with a fury in her eyes.
LYNNE: Two times! Two times I had to drag you out of that jail like a filthy hobo!!
DICK: I'm sorry, Lynne...
LYNNE: What? What did you just say?
DICK: I'm sorry, Lynney.
LYNNE:You're sorry? Don't call me "Lynney!" One time is "I'm sorry." Two times makes me think I've picked the wrong man! They kicked your ass out of Yale for drinking and fighting! Now are you just a lush who's going to hang power lines for the state? Are we going to live in a trailer and have ten children!? Is that the plan?!
Dick looks like he might be sick.
DICK: Can we please...discuss this later?
LYNNE: No. We discuss it right now while you smell of piss and cheap booze!
EDNA, Lynne's Mom, starts to walk in.
EDNA: Does Dick want some coffee?
LYNNE: Mother get out! Does Dick want some coffee? Jesus Christ! (back to Dick) Here's my plan. Eight you stand up and put your back straight and have the courage to become someone or I am gone! There are a dozen men and a few Professors at school who would date me!
DICK: I love you, Lynne. I've loved you since the day I first saw you.
LYNNE: Then prove it! I can't go to a big Ivy League school! I can't run a company or be Mayor! That's just the way the world is for a girl! I need you! And right now you're a big fat piss soaked zero! (beat while she reloads) I've seen my Mother waiting up all night for my Father to come home. And I've seen him drunk in this house raising his voice and way worse, and I'm not dancing that dance anymore...I'm not!
QUICK FLASH BACK to Lynne's FATHER yelling at her MOTHER in the kitchen. Her dad is scary and has been drinking.
LYNNE (CONT'D): Can you change? Or am I wasting my goddamn time?
Beat as Dick looks up. There is a GROWLING DETERMINATION IN HIS EYES.
DICK: I won't ever disappoint you again Lynne.
FADE TO BLACK"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked this female role because she offers him a decision, but does not shy away from laying out what she needs. Nothing namby-pamby.
Vice (2018)
Written & directed by Adam McKay
Monday, February 18, 2019
2019 OSCARS: Roma (2018) - Point of View; Simplicity & Foreshadowing
[Quick Summary: The lives of both a maid and the family she serves crumble simultaneously in 1970s Mexico.]
TWO THINGS THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL: (especially when writing about memories)
1) Point of view. I liked that the writer chose a fresh point of view (housemaid) to be the protagonist rather than something more typical (himself as the child).
2) Simplicity & Foreshadowing. I also liked that these memories were simple on the first read. Later, we'll see the foreshadowing layered in between.
In the scene below:
- Cleo is the protagonist and a long time, trusted maid. She is from a poor, uneducated, minority background.
- Pepe is 5 years old.
- This simple scene seems to be about play. Later, we will look back and see that it is about her feelings toward a death to come.
ex. "EXT. - ROOF - TEPEJI 21 - AFTERNOON
....A spray of invisible bullets shoots through him and Pepe falls dead, his arms spread open, like Paco said. And he stays there, lying down motionless on the ground.
Cleo dries her hands and walks over to him. She stops and watches him -
CLEO: What happened to you?
Without opening his eyes, Pepe answers from the ground.
PEPE: I'm dead.
CLEO: Well, let's go down then.
PEPE: I can't. I'm dead.
CLEO: Then come back to life, we have to go down!
PEPE: If you die, you can't live again.
CLEO: Now what am I going to do without my Pepe!?
Cleo sits on the ground next to Pepe, who remains motionless.
CLEO (CONT'D): I can't live without my Pepe!
Cleo lies down next to Pepe, arms also extended, and closes her eyes -
CLEO (CONT'D): I'm also dead.
And so she remains still, Pepe next to her. A DC 8 flies overhead.
Pepe opens an eye to see Cleo. She's not moving and seems not to be breathing at all. Pepe reaches his hand and takes Cleo's.
PEPE: Cleo...?
But Cleo's not moving. Pepe sits up -
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleo...?
CLEO: I'm dead.
PEPE: No! C'mon, get up!
CLEO: Didn't you say that was impossible?
PEPE: Cleo, stop it!
But Cleo doesn't answer.
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleo!
She remains still.
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleeoo!
Pepe's starting to get scared -
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleeeeeeeeoooooooo!
Cleo opens her eyes and smiles at him.
CLEO: I'm playing your game. Let's see...shall we play a little longer?
Pepe lies down next to her, arms outstretched.
CLEO (CONT'D): Close your eyes.
They both close their eyes.
CLEO (CONT'D): I like being dead.
Pepe holds her hand.
The two of them lie dead on the roof - "
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This simple scene was very well crafted. I did not see the layer of foreshadowing until much later.
Roma (2018)(dated 9/23/16)
Written and directed by Alfonso Cuaron
TWO THINGS THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL: (especially when writing about memories)
1) Point of view. I liked that the writer chose a fresh point of view (housemaid) to be the protagonist rather than something more typical (himself as the child).
2) Simplicity & Foreshadowing. I also liked that these memories were simple on the first read. Later, we'll see the foreshadowing layered in between.
In the scene below:
- Cleo is the protagonist and a long time, trusted maid. She is from a poor, uneducated, minority background.
- Pepe is 5 years old.
- This simple scene seems to be about play. Later, we will look back and see that it is about her feelings toward a death to come.
ex. "EXT. - ROOF - TEPEJI 21 - AFTERNOON
....A spray of invisible bullets shoots through him and Pepe falls dead, his arms spread open, like Paco said. And he stays there, lying down motionless on the ground.
Cleo dries her hands and walks over to him. She stops and watches him -
CLEO: What happened to you?
Without opening his eyes, Pepe answers from the ground.
PEPE: I'm dead.
CLEO: Well, let's go down then.
PEPE: I can't. I'm dead.
CLEO: Then come back to life, we have to go down!
PEPE: If you die, you can't live again.
CLEO: Now what am I going to do without my Pepe!?
Cleo sits on the ground next to Pepe, who remains motionless.
CLEO (CONT'D): I can't live without my Pepe!
Cleo lies down next to Pepe, arms also extended, and closes her eyes -
CLEO (CONT'D): I'm also dead.
And so she remains still, Pepe next to her. A DC 8 flies overhead.
Pepe opens an eye to see Cleo. She's not moving and seems not to be breathing at all. Pepe reaches his hand and takes Cleo's.
PEPE: Cleo...?
But Cleo's not moving. Pepe sits up -
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleo...?
CLEO: I'm dead.
PEPE: No! C'mon, get up!
CLEO: Didn't you say that was impossible?
PEPE: Cleo, stop it!
But Cleo doesn't answer.
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleo!
She remains still.
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleeoo!
Pepe's starting to get scared -
PEPE (CONT'D): Cleeeeeeeeoooooooo!
Cleo opens her eyes and smiles at him.
CLEO: I'm playing your game. Let's see...shall we play a little longer?
Pepe lies down next to her, arms outstretched.
CLEO (CONT'D): Close your eyes.
They both close their eyes.
CLEO (CONT'D): I like being dead.
Pepe holds her hand.
The two of them lie dead on the roof - "
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This simple scene was very well crafted. I did not see the layer of foreshadowing until much later.
Roma (2018)(dated 9/23/16)
Written and directed by Alfonso Cuaron
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