TODAY'S NUGGET: Gloria (1980) - The Flow in the Space Between Actors (Subtext)

[Quick Summary: After a neighbor is murdered in a mob hit, Gloria traipses around NYC trying to keep the neighbor's 8 y.o. son safe.]

I always thought John Cassavetes' scripts were well written and emotional, but not particularly illuminating for me.  

That is, until this one, which truly is "written to be acted, not read." 

On the page, there's not a lot of action.  However, in the space BETWEEN the actors,  the energy flows back and forth like a constantly revolving hourglass.

In the scene below:
- This aha! moment takes us from the end of act two into act three. 
- Gloria has housed, fed, defended this kid against the mob for about 48 hrs.
- The kid and she have bonded a little, but she's ill-equipped to be a parent. He just wants the world to be ok again, to go home to a family that does not exist.
- Notice how this conflict and distrust flows back and forth in subtext.

EXT. BROADWAY & 157TH ST. DAY. (EARLY A.M.)

A CAR comes SCREECHING down the street. GLORIA freezes. She can't move. PHIL looks up at her. 

PHIL: What's the matter?

GLORIA: Nothing.

PHIL: Tell me what it is. You got a pain? Was it the car? Did it scare you? [He's grown up a little & thinks about her.]

GLORIA looks up at PHIL.

GLORIA: I'm not doing the right thing. I should be sending you to a Boarding School. [Her a-ha! moment.]

PHIL: You mean an orphanage. [He's skeptical she cares.]

GLORIA: I mean, a Boarding School, you stupid, little twerp. [Not particularly patient.]

PHIL: Wrong. I'm with you. They're looking for both of us, remember? If they kill you, they kill me, right? Gloria, let me be honest with you. I'm crazy about you. Do I have a chance?  [He's asking for reassurance that she can't give.]

GLORIA: No.

PHIL: Okay. Anyway, you're not Spanish like me. You're not my mother. You're not my father. You're not anybody to me. You're not enough for me. Okay, Gloria? [He's acting older than his years.]

GLORIA doesn't answer.

PHIL (continues): So, I'm going to go find family and some new friends and a girlfriend, too. You're a nice girl, Gloria, but you're not for me.  [He will solve his own problems, naively.]

GLORIA: Okay, fine. [She does not know what to feel or do.]

PHIL (points at her eyes): You have no soul.   [He thinks he's got it under control.]

GLORIA: Okay, fine.  [She knows he does not, but does not want to argue.]

PHIL: You have nothing. But, you're very nice. [He rejects her, thinking he's wise.]

GLORIA: Okay. I'm going to be (turns, looks) at that bar across the street. I'm going to have a drink. If you want to join me, you can. If you want to run away, that's your problem. [She lets him make his own decisions, even if wrong...and he will.]

PHIL (waves): No. I've done my best to like you. I'm sorry. Goodbye Chiquita. Goodbye sucker.

GLORIA turns without regarding him again, crosses the street and enters a Bar.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  Subtext adds a different energy in the flow and space between actors. 

Gloria, aka One Summer Night (1980)(5th draft, 7/3/79)
by John Cassavetes 

TODAY'S NUGGET: Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961) - To Show (And Not Tell) That He's a Kept Man

[Quick Summary: Flirty Holly Golightly meets a new neighbor Paul, a poor writer, but financial security gets in the way of their romance.]

Holly Golightly (19 y.o.) is after one thing: to snare a rich husband.  Because she's been on her own since 14 y.o., she's both quite innocent and quite mercenary.

Paul, on the other hand, is 28 y.o., not as innocent, not quite as mercenary.  He has snared the interest of 2E, a rich, bored housewife, who sets him up in an apartment.

I was intrigued how the writer showed us (and did not tell us) he's a kept man:

INT. PAUL'S APARTMENT

...She picks up his typewriter, puts it on the desk and takes off its lid. She takes a sheet of paper and puts it in the machine. [2E is in charge even of his equipment]

2E: Voila!

PAUL: If a man is going to starve in a garret and write the great American novel, this is sure the way to do it...

2E (Her tone changes): Now listen, darling, we're just not going to have any of that at all...The whole thing is very simple. You're a writer...I think you can be a great one...Why shouldn't I help you? I have a husband who invests in oil wells...I have friends who invest in...I don't know...the stock market or real estate. So why shouldn't I be allowed to invest what I believe in? [She defends her decision, which cleverly hides exposition]

PAUL: Which is?

2E: Talent, darling. Talent. You have talent and I'm going to see that you don't waste it or spoil it or fritter it away. I couldn't bear the idea of you, prostituting yourself...sitting in a little cage in Hollywood...writing movies that would make us both cringe when we saw them later...Let me be your Hollywood, Paul...your own personal, tender, loving Hollywood... [2E flatters him]

PAUL: And what do you get out of it?

2E: Satisfaction, darling. Just satisfaction. And maybe the feeling of pride, when the book is finally done, of seeing the dedication page that says: "For 2E, Without Whom...' [She brings the flattery back around to herself]

During this, she has very gently begun to unbutton his shirt. [Now she touches him]

PAUL: And that's all?

2E: Well, almost...

She draws him to her and kisses him. When they break she very gently pushes him away from her and toward the bed. [She is still in charge, increases the intimacy]

CLOSE SHORT - 2E (PAUL'S ANGLE) - (DAY)

2E: It's not so bad, is it? Really?

PAUL: I suppose it could be a lot tougher...

2E (Softly): You bet it could be, darling. You just bet it could be... Paul...

PAUL (O.S.): Yes?

2E: I wish we had a picture of you...just the way you are right now...If we put it on the book jacket, we'd sell a million copies...

SLOW DISSOLVE TO:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Paul is "kept" because 2E is making the major decisions... but they align with his desire for financial security, so he allows them. 

Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)(undated)
by George Axelrod
Based on the novel by Truman Capote

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Seven Year Itch (1955) - Using a Dream Bubble to Refute an Argument + Show Wish Fulfillment

[Quick Summary: After his family goes away for the summer, a book publisher with an overactive imagination is left in NYC with a new gorgeous neighbor upstairs.]

Billy Wilder scripts are exceptional - unexpectedly layered and multi-tasking. 

For example here, Richard's wife and son have just left for the summer.  He meets his pretty new neighbor upstairs who is subletting.

On his first night alone, he has an imaginary conversation with his wife about what a loyal husband he is.   In fact, he's had to chase women off.

When his imaginary wife scoffs at this, he uses his overactive imagination to conjure up a series of "dream bubble" scenarios to prove his point.

Notice how this scene below refutes the imaginary wife's argument that he's not super-desirable AND shows what Richard wishes would happen:

DREAM BUBBLE (1) - RICHARD'S OFFICE - DAY

Richard stands at the desk in his shirt sleeves, reading a letter. Miss Morris enters.

RICHARD (barely looking up): Miss Morris, did you type this letter?

MISS MORRIS (tensely): Yes, Mr. Sherman.

RICHARD: There are six typographical errors in the first paragraph alone. What is the matter iwth you, Miss Morris? (pause) Come now, Miss Morris. What is the matter with you?

MISS MORRIS: I'll tell you what's the matter with me. I'm in love with you. That's what's the matter with me. I have been - since the first day I came here. Deeply...madly...desperately...all consumingly! And you - you've never even noticed me! To you I'm just nothing...a piece of office furniture...a dictaphone...ten fingers to type your miserable letters...

Suddenly, she tears off her glasses, rips the comb out of her hair so that it comes tumbling wildly down over her shoulders.

MISS MORRIS (out of control): Look at me, Mr. Sherman. I'm a woman! A woman, do you hear me? With flesh and blood and nerves and feelings! I love you, I need you, I want you, want you, want you, want you!

She grabs him around the shoulders and kisses him violently. There is the sound of cloth being torn. he stands there, quite cool about the whole thing. Finally when her passion is spent - 

RICHARD (unruffled): That will be all, Miss Morris.

He hands her back the letter. She runs out of the room, sobbing hysterically. He looks after her, slowly turning his back to the camera. The back of his shirt is torn. He flexes the muscles of his back. For a moment he is Marlon Brando in STREEETCAR.

The camera has started moving in again. The Dream Bubble bursts and we are back on -

RICHARD - ON THE TERRACE - EVENING

He is lying on the chaise, grinning in delight over his little fantasy.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  I was quite amazed how much of this script was dream bubbles and Richard's fantasy life.  It could've easily been a cliche, but was not.

The Seven Year Itch (1955)(final draft, 8/10/54)
by George Axelrod and Billy Wilder
Based on the play by George Axelrod

TODAY'S NUGGET: A Fish Called Wanda (1988) - The Enemies of Suspense

[Quick Summary: Four thieves steal diamonds, then double and triple cross each other (as well as a barrister) to get to the loot.]

Q: What is one of the biggest keys to a suspense story?
A: What is happening NOW is apt to be less dramatically interesting than what may or may not HAPPEN NEXT.

Q: So this means plot is more important than character?
A: I think the plot comes from characters. (Or characters drive the plot.)

Q: I always hear that it "starts with character." What does that MEAN?
A: To me, interesting characters cause conflict.  Their actions - unpredictable, outrageous, rebellious, stubborn - clash with someone else's, thus driving the plot.

Q: So that's where suspense can come from? 
A: We can't wait to see how the conflict resolves. What comes next? 

In the example below, notice:
- Each character has a conflict with themselves and/or each other.
- The conflicts are visible, i.e., able to be seen on screen.
- Pay particular attention to Otto, the newest member, who disturbs the status quo the most.  Notice we can't stop wondering what he'll do next.*

Interior. Living-room, George's flat. Day.

Ken is still feeding the fish. The door opens and the human Wanda enters. She has exchanged the smooth outfit of the opening sequences for the garb of a gangster's moll: imitation ocelot jacket and leather mini skirt. She is followed by Otto, dressed in black. [I am already interested. Why has Wanda changed clothes to MORE of gangster's moll?]

WANDA. Hi, Ken.

KEN. Hallo, Wwwanda.

WANDA. Ken, this is Otto.

OTTO. Hallo, Ken, Wanda's told me a lot about you. Hey! Great fish.

KEN. Oh, th-th-thank...

OTTO. A little squeeze of lemon, some tartare sauce, perfect...  [Within two lines of dialogue, Otto has clashed with Ken, an animal lover.]

Wanda raps Otto. Otto squeezes her boob. Ken turns. [Only the audience knows that Wanda and Otto have a secret relationship.]

WANDA. George back yet?

She makes for the kitchen.

KEN. Nnnno. He had to ggggo tttto the bbbb...

Otto stares at Ken, astonished. Ken looks at him. 

Wwwwha...

OTTO. That's er, quite a stutter you've got there, Ken. [Again, Otto is being rude to Ken.]

Ken is dumbstruck. Otto smiles at him.

It's all right, it doesn't bother me. So...George needs a weapons man, eh?

Ken looks sharply at Otto. Wanda calls from the kitchen. [Otto has broken the rule about talking too frankly about a potential scam.]

WANDA. Cup of tea, Ken?

KEN. Yyyy...

OTTO. Yeah, he'd like one. I'd a good friend in the CIA had a stutter. Cost him his life, dammit. [Otto is not making a friend of Ken.]

The front door opens and George enters. Wanda runs to him from the kitchen.

WANDA. Hi, George.

She embraces him and he returns the affection with a squeeze of her bottom. Ken is hot on her heels. [Will George find out about Wanda and Otto?!]

KEN. Hallo, George. Get you a Scotch?

GEORGE. Yeah.

Ken scampers off. George eyes Otto.

WANDA. George, this is Otto.

GEORGE. ... So...you're Wanda's brother.  [I wonder if George is suspicious?]

OTTO. Good to be here, George. England is a fine country. 

GEORGE. She tell you what we need?

Otto makes a rapid movement, causing a knife to appear in his hand, and then throws the knife so that it sticks perfectly between the eyes of an animal on one of Ken's posters in the alcove. Ken stares, horrified. [No one expected this!]

OTTO. Something like that? [Otto challenges George.]

GEORGE. Something like that.  [George realizes Otto is unreliable.]

Cut to:

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The chief enemies of suspense?  I'd volunteer predictability and lack of conflict.

A Fish Called Wanda (1988)
by John Cleese
Story by John Cleese and Charles Crichton

*FYI: Actor Kevin Kline won an Oscar for this role.

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979) - Making the Daffy Disaster of Whizzing Bullets Count for Character

[Quick Summary: Two farmhands, who want to be the infamous Apple Dumpling Gang, bumble their way into another gang's bank heist, payroll robbery.]

I've always thought the scripts of Don Tait really showcased the physical comedy of actors Don Knotts and Tim Conway. 

But it was not just choosing unusual locations or situations, but how Tait used them to show more of Knotts and Conway's characters.

For example, in this script, Tait used props (whizzing bullets) to emphasize how these guys are clueless and do not think about the consequences of their actions.

Also notice the writing is so economical (summarized in brackets below):

INT. BANK

as Woolly Bill charges IN, Buntline Specials drawn, he comes face to face with Amos and Theodore!

WOOLLY BILL: All right -- hold it right there! Turn around! Now remove your guns easy and drop them.

Amos and Theodore are too frightened to speak, but they obey Woolly Bill's orders. Cautiously, they turn around, reach for their antiquated firearms, and drop them to the marble floor.

INSERT

Both guns DISCHARGE when they hit the floor. [Unthinking actions]

CLOSE - WOOLLY BILL

as one gun is shot from his hand. [Unintended reaction, which makes it funny]

SERIES OF FAST CUTS

as the bullet from Amos' gun SPANGS OFF various metal objects about the bank: a teller's cage bar, a spittoon, a chandelier, a corner of the vault, etc. This all is done to the SOUND OF RICOCHETING BULLETS. [This is a paragraph of actions.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

TO FAVOR Woolly Bill as his eyes try to follow the trajectory of the ricocheting bullet. Suddenly the other Buntline Special is knocked from his hands and Woolly Bill bends over, clutching both hands in pain. [This is Bill's reaction.]

ANOTHER ANGLE

as Theodore glances back over his shoulder and is surprised to find Woolly Bill a victim of their gunfire. Both his white-handled guns are on the floor at his feet. [More reactions]

THEODORE: Maybe we better go.

He grabs up their guns and shoves Amos' revolver at him. He has to shake Amos out of his posture of cringing terror.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This scene is funny because the bullets hitting Bill is unexpected.

However, it's funnier because it's about the characters' cluelessness.

The Apple Dumpling Gang Rides Again (1979)(shooting draft, 3/28/78 w/revisions)
by Don Tait

TODAY'S NUGGET: Shaggy D.A. (1976) - How to Effectively Use an Animal Actor

[Quick Summary: An attorney runs for District Attorney against the incumbent, but is threatened by a magical ring from his past that turns a human into a dog.]

When the world is tough, all I want to do is follow a dog planting a recording device.

I thought the writer did a great job of understanding: 1) how to set up the story; 2) the limits of what an animal actor could do; and 3) combining 1) and 2) well. 

In the scene below, the story is that "Wilby" is the attorney in his dog form. In the film, it is played by a real trained canine actor.

Notice the skills that the dog can be trained to do: Carry a tape recorder. Open a door. Look toward Roschak. Lay recorder on a chair. Press a button.

Notice also how the writer allows the audience to give meaning of these actions.

INT. WAREHOUSE

...ANOTHER ANGLE 

holding the tape recorder in his mouth, "Wilby" starts across an open stretch toward the stairs

ANOTHER ANGLE "WILBY" 

Tiptoeing up the stairs, toward Roschak's office, carrying the tape recorder in his mouth.

EXT. AREA - SLADE'S CAR

approaching the warehouse.

RESUME "WILBY"

as he opens the door to Roschak's office and enters. This is actually an outer (or secretary's office). But through a second door, leading into Roschak's office, we SEE the crime boss counting money into piles, putting the bills into envelopes.

CLOSE "WILBY"

He looks toward Roschak, then carefully lays the tape recorder on a chair behind the desk. Now comes the anxious moment. Can he push the right button without starting the Marine Band again? "Wilby" reaches a huge paw out ever so carefully and presses a button.

EXTREME CLOSE UP - TAPE RECORDER

as the tape starts moving -- recording. "Wilby" sighs, then again glances toward Roschak and starts to exit the office.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Training an animal is not the hard part.  It is giving MEANING to those actions, which is the writer's job.

One of the reasons this scene lands is because of the set up in previous scenes, ex. "Wilby" hit the wrong button on the tape recorder.  Will he hit the right one now?

Shaggy D.A. (1976)(shooting script 1/7/76)
by Don Tait

TODAY'S NUGGET: The Prize Fighter (1979) - Showing How a Fight is Fixed (Setup-Payoff)

[Quick Summary: Mobster Mike lures Bags, an awful boxer, and Shake, his corner guy, into training at Pop's gym, in hopes of getting his hands on the gym.]

Let me say it from the start: Not everyone can (or likes to) write comedy. But why?

Director Alexander MacKendrick put it very elegantly:

‘Comedy is hard’ (last words of Edmund Kean). Comedy plays best in the mastershot. Comic structure is simply dramatic structure but MORE SO: neater, shorter, faster. Don’t attempt comedy until you are really expert in structuring dramatic material.MacKendrick says it very elegantly above, but I'd never understood what he meant until I had to write one myself. (emphasis mine)

I still didn't understand what he meant until I took a stab myself.  I discovered what one can only discover by doing it: There is an unforgiving rhythm to comedy.*

The truth of "neater, shorter, faster" can be seen in today's script, one of two, which comedian/writer Tim Conway wrote for himself and friend Don Knotts.

In this story, Bags (Conway) and Shake (Knotts) are being set up for a fall.

In the scene below:
-Notice how neat, short, fast the sentences read. Great economy of writing.
-Notice how it keeps our eye moving around the room (setup).
-I underlined the payoff.  Why is it funny? He wins with eyes closed, which the audience knows is impossible and unexpected...unless it's fixed.

INT. CARNIVAL TENT RING - NIGHT

...MIKE

takes a real interest in what's happening with the ring work Bags has come up with. The Champ actually takes a few pokes at Bags but can't seem to catch up to him. Mike leans forward. He likes what he sees. He whispers to Flower. Flower signals the SECOND in the Champ's corner. The Second gets the message.

SECOND (to Champ): Hey, Mule...

He motions to him with a thumbs down signal. The Champ questions it by looking to Mike. Mike nods his head in agreement. The Champ shrugs his shoulders and moves to Bags. He beings to corner Bags so he has no choice but to hit the Champ. He does so with his eyes closed. The Champ goes down. The crowd yells for him.  Bags opens his eyes. He sees the Champ down and out. He bends over to help him.

BAGS: I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, honest.

The Champ looks at him with one eye like, what the hell is the matter with you.

Shake is wide-eyed. He can't believe it. Jimmy goes to Bags and holds his hand high.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: In a drama, you have a lot more leeway with time. The rhythm can ebb and flow at leisure, like waves on a beach.  

In a comedy, you have little leeway.  The rhythm is much more structured, insistent, demanding, like a military march.

The Prize Fighter (1979)
by Tim Conway and John Myhers
Story by Tim Conway

*Writers, please DO NOT take my word for it. Please try it out for yourself and see if comedy fits you or not.  Scientific method the heck out of it.

This a-ha! moment is brought to you by Years of My Own Pain.

TODAY'S NUGGET: They Went That-A-Way & That-A-Away (1978) - Choreographing The Pie Fight (Slapstick)

[Quick Summary: Goofy undercover cops Dewey and Wallace are sent to prison to ferret out the location of hidden money, but Duke and his gang want it first.]

Tim Conway was one of the reasons I loved "The Carol Burnett Show" on tv.  His comedy, both verbal and slapstick, would crack up his fellow actors on live tv.*

I saw the original of this script (donated to his alma mater), complete with his handwritten changes and revised blue pages.

Like other slapstick heavy comedies,** the descriptions are long because they are showing action and reaction movements, i,e, choreography.

Note in the sample scene below:
- It was written during production, all on a blue revised page.
- In the prior scene, Dewey and Wallace have broken out of prison, kidnapped a bunch of passengers to use their cars, and arrived at the new Governor's house, uninvited. 
- Only the old Governor knew of their undercover work.
- They are being pursued by Duke and his gang, and the warden (Gunnar).
- The Governor is hosting a dinner for the Japanese ambassador. 
- Dewey and Wallace are in costume, pretending to be Japanese interpreters.
- They want to show the new Governor the can of money they found in prison and get out of jail.

 THE PIE FIGHT

I.         LADY GETS THE FIRST PIE.
II.       HER HUSBAND LAUGHS.
III.      SHE GETS SORE AND GOES TO HIT HIM WITH A PIE.
IV.      HE DUCKS AND MAN IN BACK OF HIM GETS THE PIE.
V.        HE LETS ONE FLY AND A LADY AT THE OTHER TABLE GETS IT.
VI.      DUKE GRABS WALLACE.  HE STARTS TO DRAG HIM OFF.
VII.     DUKE GETS A PIE. HE LETS WALLACE GO.
VIII.   WALLACE TAKES OUT THE CAN OF MONEY.
IX.      LUGS SEES THE CAN.
X.       WALLACE TOSSES IT TO DEWEY.  LUGS TAKES IT FROM HIM.
XI.      LUGS STARTS TO SPLIT WITH THE CAN.
XII.     HE SLIPS ON THE FLOOR AND THE CAN GOES IN THE AIR.
XIII.    IT LANDS BACK IN DEWEY'S HANDS.
XIV.    DUKE WIPES HIS EYES AND SEES THE CAN. HE GOES AFTER IT.
XV.     WALLACE TAKES A KNITTING NEEDLE AND STICKS DUKE AS HE PASSES.
XVI.    DEWEY HAS THE CAN AND TRIES TO EXPLAIN TO THE GOVERNOR.
XVII.   A PIE HITS THE GOVERNOR. "THIS ISN'T GOING WELL."
XVIII.  DEWEY TAKES THE TOP OFF THE CAN.
XIX.     LUGS REACHES OVER THE TABLE AND GRABS THE MONEY CAN.
XX.       LUGS TURNS TO RUN AND GETS A PIE. THE CAN FLIES IN THE AIR.
XXI.     THE MONEY GOES FLYING.  THE GUESTS SPOT IT.
XXII.    THE GUESTS, DUKE, LUGS...GO FOR THE MONEY.
XXIII.   THE HOSTAGE GROUP COME IN. BILLY JO TRIES TO TAKE COMMAND.
XXIV.    WALLACE CAN'T SEE. DEWEY GETS A HOSE TO GET SOME WATER.
XXV.      DEWEY TURNS THE HOSE ON. THERE IS TOO MUCH PRESSURE.
XXVI.    EVERYBODY GETS THE WATER. LADIES DRESS IS HOSED OFF.
XXVII.   GOVERNOR SEES THIS AND SLUMPS IN HIS CHAIR.
XXVIII.  THE GOVERNOR'S WIFE STARTS TO YELL AT HIM. HE GIVES HER A PIE.
XXIX.     DUKE DRAWS A GUN.
XXX.      GUNNAR AND HIGHWAY PATROL ARRIVE: THEY HAVE GUNS OUT.
XXXI.     THEY FIRE A FEW SHOTS IN THE AIR TO STOP THE ACTIVITY.
XXXII.    DUKE TOSSES THE GUN TO DEWEY. DUKE SHOUTS THAT HE HAS A GUN.
XXXIII.   COP TAKES A BEAD ON DEWEY AND IS ABOUT TO FIRE.
XXXIV.   WALLACE SEES THIS AND LETS THE COP HAVE A PIE BEFORE HE CAN SHOOT.
XXXV.    WALLACE TAKES THE GUY FROM DEWEY AND TOSSES IT TO THE OTHER COP.
XXXVI.   WALLACE TELLS DEWEY TO EXPLAIN TO THE GOVERNOR; HE STARTS IN JAPANESE.
XXXVII.  THE COPS START TO TAKE DEWEY AND WALLACE OFF.
XXXVIII. THE GOVERNOR STOPS THEM. HE WANTS TO HEAR THE STORY.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I've never seen slapstick choreography boiled down to one page this efficiently, all action-reaction.  

They Went That-A-Way & That-A-Way (1978)(undated; revised)
by Tim Conway

*As frequently collaborator Harvey Corman said, "You can't take everything seriously. You have to break the mold."

** For example: Duck Soup and Monkey Business.

TODAY'S NUGGET: Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie) - When Exposition + Confrontation is All Done IN CHARACTER

[Quick Summary: In 1932, after the Lindbergh baby was ransomed (and then killed), the police pinpoint a carpenter with the money, but was he the kidnapper?]

GOOD SIGN #1: I lost track of time when I read this script.

GOOD SIGN #2: It upended my expectations - it begins with the police officer cleaning out his desk ("I was right"), but then we're shown why he was wrong.

Playwright, novelist, documentarian, screenwriter William Nicholson understands character.*  He also understands structure, which is why the script is so good.

For example, the scene below:
- This is not only exposition and confrontation, but it is all done IN CHARACTER. 
- Dr. Condon is a boaster, who is convinced Hauptmann is guilty.
- Parker, a detective, confronts him with contrary testimony.
- Now caught in a lie, Dr. Condon blusters his way through a response.
- Note Dr. Condon begins with exposition of what happened that night. It is interesting because it's true to his boasting character (contradicted few lines later).

INT. BAR - NIGHT

Dr. John Condon, orange blossom in hand, is telling his tale a fascinated audience of FELLOW DRINKERS. After many a telling, he has honed his story into quite a performance.

Parker enters while he speaks, and gets himself a drink, and listens.

CONDON: The cemetery's dark. Hauptmann is nervous, I can tell. I lead him to a bench. "Don't be afraid", I tell him. "We're alone." He gets calmer.  "Have you got the money?", he says. I way, "Wait, wait. Tell me your name." I'm playing for time, I want to get him talking, you understand. Give himself away somehow. He says, "Call me John." "Well John", I say, "Did you ever think of your own mother?" He's silent for a moment. Then, very low, "Yes", he says, and a tear comes into his eye. "Would I burn", he says, "if the baby's dead?"

This is greeted with a satisfying gasp from his appreciative audience.

LATER -

Dr. Condon is seated at a corner table with Parker, having accepted his offer of a drink.

CONDON: It's a tragic tale, a tragic tale, but perhaps some good can come out of it. I want no more children snatched from their cribs.

PARKER: Would you like to take a look at this, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: What is it?

PARKER: It's a copy of your interview with the police in the Bronx, shortly after Hauptmann's arrest.

Condon waves it away.

CONDON: So much heartbreak. We must look forward, not back.

PARKER: Perhaps you've forgotten what you said back then. You were unable to identify Hauptmann as the man you met in the cemetery. You were then warned that you yourself were under suspicion, as a possible accessory to the crime.

CONDON: I don't recall.

PARKER: Later you changed your evidence and identified Hauptmann, in court, as the man you met in the cemetery. Was that new testimony given under pressure, Dr. Condon?

CONDON: You mean, did I lie?

PARKER: I'm just trying to establish why you changed your evidence.

Condon's reply builds up into a spectacular display of outraged innocence. As his voice grows ever louder, all eyes in the bar are drawn to the little group in the corner.

CONDON: No sir, I did not lie. Who are you to walk in here and call me a liar? I offered my services to Colonel Lindbergh with no hope of reward. I have given thousands of hours of my life, and I am an old man, sir, there is little enough of my life left, thousands of hours, for the sake of justice, and my country, and yes, for that little murdered angel, and you come in here and accuse me of lying?

WHAT I'VE LEARNED:  The structure of this scene (exposition, then confrontation) is wonderful.  

However, I noticed it was not really the dialogue, but the character (Condon's reaction) that was so riveting. 

Crime of the Century (1996; TV movie)(10/4/95, revised)
by William Nicholson
Based on the book, "The Airman and the Carpenter," by Ludovic Kennedy

*According to IMDB, actress Debra Winger won an Oscar nomination for Shadowlands (1993). She praised Nicholson's script to New York Times by calling it "the most literate script I've ever read. I was sad every day that I wouldn't ever say those lines again."

TODAY'S NUGGET: Primal Fear (1996) - Why EXPAND the Intro from One to Three Pages?

[Quick Summary: A defense attorney volunteers to defend a 19 y.o. street kid who is accused of murdering the Archbishop.]

I do not often read earlier drafts since too many things can affect the final shooting script, even weather or change of directors!

However, I happened to see the first page of an early draft of this script and was struck by the REASON for the changes. 

IN THE EARLY DRAFT: Vail, the defense attorney, is being interviewed by a magazine writer, who asks if a funny courtroom story was true. It wraps up p.1.

IN THE LATER DRAFT: This one pager is expanded to three pages, and I do like this version much better.

Why is the expansion? It shows Vail's point of view on the law. It sets the tone, as well as our expectations of what this ride will be like.

What does it look like on the page? Over a black screen with credits, page one begins with the magazine writer and Vail discussing that funny courtroom story.

The second page begins:

INT. VAIL'S OFFICE - DUSK

Tight on a sputter water faucet and hands. Into a cup, splash to the face and mouth. Vail. Tuxedo shirt on. Studs finally in place. Top button undone. Tie drapes over his shoulder.

VAIL: Truth? How do you mean? 

In the adjacent room, a magazine writer sits at a coffee table cluttered with notes, pencils, ashtray and ashes.

CONNERMAN: Well, I'm not sure how many ways there are to mean it.

Vail appears in the bathroom door attempting to knot the bow tie of his tuxedo.

VAIL: There's only one? One truth? (loudly) Naomi!! (shrugs) You're right there's only one that matters -

NAOMI CHANCE, an attractive Black woman comes in from another room. Vail needs her help with the tie. To Connerman, continuing - 

VAIL: The one I create in the minds of those twelve men and woman sitting on the jury. If you want to call that the illusion of truth? - well, that's up to you.

WHAT I'VE LEARNED: The early draft laid out a good foundational p.1, which the later draft was able to build upon.  

Also, I wouldn't be surprised if the early draft exposed the need for a deeper explanation, as found in the latter draft.

Primal Fear (1996)(6/13/94* and 4/10/95, revised)
Written & revised by Steve Shagan
Based on the novel by William Diehl

*Trivia: I was particularly interested in this earlier draft, in large part because its author was the great thriller writer Steven Zaillian.