[Quick Summary: When 11 y.o. Kevin inadvertently gets on the wrong plane during the Christmas rush, he heads to NYC while his family is in Florida.]
I am not fond of sequels, unless they have something new to say.
This one does not. It is essentially a rehashing of the first film.*
However, I do appreciate John Hughes' excellent use of suspense within a slapstick routine.
In the example below, note:
- Hughes does not release the tension of suspense too soon.
- Marv must struggle with the cheesecloth, react to something odd, then the reveal.
ex. "INT. BASEMENT
Marv stands up from the collapsed shelving unit. He's covered in paint. He wipes his face with his sleeve. His eyes are stinging. He looks for something to clean his face with.
CU. PAINTER'S TARP
Marv grabs a piece of cheesecloth off the trp.
CU. MARV
He puts the cheesecloth to this face. It sticks. He tugs on the towel. It won't come off. He grips it firmly with both hands and gives a fierce pull. it tears free with a dreadful RIIIP!
He SCREAMS and clutches his face. He notices something. He feels his face. When he lowers his hands, he's missing his eyebrows, moustache and goatee. He looks at the towel.
INSERT: TOWEL
Two eyebrows, a moustache and a fluff of goatee stuck to the towel."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: This script got me thinking that the much of the pleasure that I find in slapstick is the suspense and release.
Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992)(9/10/91, production draft B)
by John Hughes
*I understand why Home Alone got a sequel. From a business point of view, it had all the hallmarks of a good decision: public awareness, successful box office, etc.
As a writer, I can understand the reason(s) behind the decision even if I don't particularly like it.
Monday, May 27, 2019
Monday, May 20, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Home Alone (1990) - Unified vs. Episodic; Using Compare & Contrast
[Quick Summary: When his family leave for Paris without him, seven year old Kevin defends his home against robbers and realizes that Christmas is lonely by oneself.]
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) UNIFIED vs. EPISODIC. I never quite realized how many simultaneous stories there are in this film:
- Kevin overcoming fears of being home, alone
- Kevin vs. Mr. Murphy
- Kevin vs. robbers
- Kevin's mom trying to get home
- Robbers in the neighborhood
All these stories revolve around one theme or linchpin: Kevin, his growing up, his need for connection and family.
I think that this is the reason that the stories are more unified (like spokes on the wheel around Kevin) than episodic (series of unrelated stories).
2) EXPRESSING INTERNAL FEELINGS. I noticed this scene below because:
a) I keenly felt Kevin's internal feelings, yet....
b) There is no defined protagonist on the outside.
How is it done? I think it's the cuts that help the audience compare and contrast the visible vs. the implied.
ex. "EXT. STREET - LATER - NIGHT
Kevin's walking home. It's dark. The street lights are on. Kevin is walking slowly. He's looking at the houses. [We see slow walking. This seems to imply Kevin is thinking, thoughtful.]
HIS POV - MOVING - NIGHT
A house with lights around the door, lights burning in big windows. People inside celebrating. Kids running around, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. It seems as if their excitement and joy was made int he extreme to emphasize Kevin's sorrow. [We unconsciously compare that there is one of Kevin vs. a group.]
CLOSE-UP KEVIN
Shuffling down the sidewalk, eyes on the house he's passing. He looks forward and stops suddenly. [Compare/contrast: Kevin is in the lonely dark. Family in the bright light.]
HIS POV
A young MAN and WOMAN, she carrying a baby, he loaded with gifts, walking from their car which is parked far down in a crowded driveway to the sidewalk of the house Kevin's watching. [Compare/contrast: Bonded family vs. solo Kevin. Imply loneliness.]
EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
The young family continues up the walk to the house. Kevin stands at the foot of the walk, watching. CHURCH BELLS RING in the distance. [Compare/contrast: belonging vs. alone.]
CLOSE UP: KEVIN
Kevin's eyes are brimming with tears. As strong as he wants to be, it's too much for him. A tear falls. He wipes it away, only causing more to fall. [The previous scenes lead up to this moment. We see his sadness spill out.]
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Kevin's framed in the door of the holiday house and the young family passes off the baby and the gifts and takes off their coats. Great warmth and cheer. Christmas music is playing. Children are running wild, old men are laughing, grannies, are yakking. It's everything Kevin wants. He stands like a sobbing statue at the end of the walk, lit by a coach light, wiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his cold, bare hands. The door closes on him." [Because we see how he responds to external scenes, we are able experience his internal emotions of missing his own family.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think I was clued in more by Kevin's response to what he's seeing rather than what he is actually seeing.
Home Alone (1990)(1/17/90 shooting draft, with revisions)
by John Hughes
MY TWO THOUGHTS:
1) UNIFIED vs. EPISODIC. I never quite realized how many simultaneous stories there are in this film:
- Kevin overcoming fears of being home, alone
- Kevin vs. Mr. Murphy
- Kevin vs. robbers
- Kevin's mom trying to get home
- Robbers in the neighborhood
All these stories revolve around one theme or linchpin: Kevin, his growing up, his need for connection and family.
I think that this is the reason that the stories are more unified (like spokes on the wheel around Kevin) than episodic (series of unrelated stories).
2) EXPRESSING INTERNAL FEELINGS. I noticed this scene below because:
a) I keenly felt Kevin's internal feelings, yet....
b) There is no defined protagonist on the outside.
How is it done? I think it's the cuts that help the audience compare and contrast the visible vs. the implied.
ex. "EXT. STREET - LATER - NIGHT
Kevin's walking home. It's dark. The street lights are on. Kevin is walking slowly. He's looking at the houses. [We see slow walking. This seems to imply Kevin is thinking, thoughtful.]
HIS POV - MOVING - NIGHT
A house with lights around the door, lights burning in big windows. People inside celebrating. Kids running around, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins. It seems as if their excitement and joy was made int he extreme to emphasize Kevin's sorrow. [We unconsciously compare that there is one of Kevin vs. a group.]
CLOSE-UP KEVIN
Shuffling down the sidewalk, eyes on the house he's passing. He looks forward and stops suddenly. [Compare/contrast: Kevin is in the lonely dark. Family in the bright light.]
HIS POV
A young MAN and WOMAN, she carrying a baby, he loaded with gifts, walking from their car which is parked far down in a crowded driveway to the sidewalk of the house Kevin's watching. [Compare/contrast: Bonded family vs. solo Kevin. Imply loneliness.]
EXT. HOUSE - NIGHT
The young family continues up the walk to the house. Kevin stands at the foot of the walk, watching. CHURCH BELLS RING in the distance. [Compare/contrast: belonging vs. alone.]
CLOSE UP: KEVIN
Kevin's eyes are brimming with tears. As strong as he wants to be, it's too much for him. A tear falls. He wipes it away, only causing more to fall. [The previous scenes lead up to this moment. We see his sadness spill out.]
INT. HOUSE - NIGHT
Kevin's framed in the door of the holiday house and the young family passes off the baby and the gifts and takes off their coats. Great warmth and cheer. Christmas music is playing. Children are running wild, old men are laughing, grannies, are yakking. It's everything Kevin wants. He stands like a sobbing statue at the end of the walk, lit by a coach light, wiping tears from his cheeks with the back of his cold, bare hands. The door closes on him." [Because we see how he responds to external scenes, we are able experience his internal emotions of missing his own family.]
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think I was clued in more by Kevin's response to what he's seeing rather than what he is actually seeing.
Home Alone (1990)(1/17/90 shooting draft, with revisions)
by John Hughes
Monday, May 13, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: She's Having a Baby (1988) - Portraying Lost & Confused
[Quick Summary: After 22 y.o. Jake gets married, he is lost and confused as he goes kicking and screaming into adulthood.]
How do you make the audience feel something?
I still don't know and desperately wish I did.
Meanwhile, let's study the scene below.
It made me feel as lost and confused as the protagonist Jake does.
I think it works because:
1) The scene is straightforward, i.e., groom and best man before the wedding.
2) There is a sad-happy mix jumbled together: joy, fear, anticipation, and dread.
ex. "JAKE AND DAVIS - EXT. CHURCH - DAY
....Jake looks at his watch. He tenses. Takes a deep breath.
JAKE: It's time.
Davis' smile drifts away. He drops his look to his shoes. Jake takes a deep breath. He sniffs back the beginnings of a full-on cry.
JAKE: Here I am on the verge of binding myself to Kristy for life and I've never felt so alone. Damn! I'm gonna cry.
Jake's angry at himself for losing control of his emotions. Davis looks at him. He's suffering as well but is better able to control it.
DAVIS: We can split. But you'd be back tomorrow. You know what, Jake? You know why you feel like crying? Because you love her and you want her and you know there's no way around it.
Jake looks at him puzzled.
DAVIS: You were married the minute you saw her. Sixteen years old and you were gone.
Jake cracks a smile.
DAVIS: This is your destiny, Mr. Dick. To be forever caught in the crossfire between your head and your heart.
He gives Jake an affectionate jab in the upper arm.
JAKE: You think I'll be happy? Honestly.
DAVIS: You want to be a writer. you want to be a husband. Maybe it'll work. Who knows. Yeah, you'll be happy. You just won't know it.
JAKE'S VOICE: Never before and never again did he nail a moment more firmly than that afternoon. He's not all that wise. He just knew his subject matter very, very well..
DAVIS: This is the last time I'm gonna say it. You don't have to go through with this. You can walk. Say the word and we're outta here.
Davis' remark arouses the coward in Jake. He hesitates. He looks at the church and momentarily flirts with flight."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think Jake's jumble of emotions is easier to follow because the scene is fairly simple.
Too many twisty plots + Too many twisty emotions = Hard to follow.
She's Having a Baby (1988)(shooting draft, 9/7/86, w/revisions)
Written and directed by John Hughes
How do you make the audience feel something?
I still don't know and desperately wish I did.
Meanwhile, let's study the scene below.
It made me feel as lost and confused as the protagonist Jake does.
I think it works because:
1) The scene is straightforward, i.e., groom and best man before the wedding.
2) There is a sad-happy mix jumbled together: joy, fear, anticipation, and dread.
ex. "JAKE AND DAVIS - EXT. CHURCH - DAY
....Jake looks at his watch. He tenses. Takes a deep breath.
JAKE: It's time.
Davis' smile drifts away. He drops his look to his shoes. Jake takes a deep breath. He sniffs back the beginnings of a full-on cry.
JAKE: Here I am on the verge of binding myself to Kristy for life and I've never felt so alone. Damn! I'm gonna cry.
Jake's angry at himself for losing control of his emotions. Davis looks at him. He's suffering as well but is better able to control it.
DAVIS: We can split. But you'd be back tomorrow. You know what, Jake? You know why you feel like crying? Because you love her and you want her and you know there's no way around it.
Jake looks at him puzzled.
DAVIS: You were married the minute you saw her. Sixteen years old and you were gone.
Jake cracks a smile.
DAVIS: This is your destiny, Mr. Dick. To be forever caught in the crossfire between your head and your heart.
He gives Jake an affectionate jab in the upper arm.
JAKE: You think I'll be happy? Honestly.
DAVIS: You want to be a writer. you want to be a husband. Maybe it'll work. Who knows. Yeah, you'll be happy. You just won't know it.
JAKE'S VOICE: Never before and never again did he nail a moment more firmly than that afternoon. He's not all that wise. He just knew his subject matter very, very well..
DAVIS: This is the last time I'm gonna say it. You don't have to go through with this. You can walk. Say the word and we're outta here.
Davis' remark arouses the coward in Jake. He hesitates. He looks at the church and momentarily flirts with flight."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I think Jake's jumble of emotions is easier to follow because the scene is fairly simple.
Too many twisty plots + Too many twisty emotions = Hard to follow.
She's Having a Baby (1988)(shooting draft, 9/7/86, w/revisions)
Written and directed by John Hughes
Monday, May 6, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Some Kind of Wonderful (1987) - Stumbling, Failing, & Making Bad Choices
[Quick Summary: A quiet, artistic high school senior asks out the most beautiful girl at school, upsetting her ex-boyfriend and his friend who is a girl.]
WHAT: I read an old tweet by Eric Heisserer (full tweetstorm here):
WHY: Roger Ebert explains:
NOTES FOR THE EXAMPLE BELOW:
- When not in school, Keith works 20 hrs/wk at a gas station/car repair.
- Back in the day, a "full service" gas station attendant would pump your gas for you and check your oil.
- Hardy has pulled his car into the gas station, humiliated Keith in front of Amanda, and has just driven off.
- The interesting thing is not that Keith is fixated on Amanda, but WHY. Watch how talking with Drummer Girl starts to unearth faulty beliefs about himself.
ex. "INT. REPAIR BAY
Drummer Girl's seen everything. She'd like to kill Hardy. And possibly Amanda. Keith walks in.
DRUMMER GIRL: Keith? I watched that. It was sick. If that isn't the raw, bleeding truth about Amanda Jones, I don't know what is. You gotta forget her.
KEITH (defensive): It wasn't her. She didn't give me any shit.
DRUMMER GIRL: Why is she so important to you?
KEITH: Can't you stay out of it? You don't understand it. I can't explain it. I'm going nowhere and I'm going all alone.
DRUMMER GIRL: What about me?
CU. KEITH
He sighs.
KEITH: You're a friend. This is something else.
CU. DRUMMER GIRL
A slow, sad exhale. She nods. Not what she wanted to hear.
DRUMMER GIRL: Okay. (abrupt change of subject) Next time that jerk comes here, you better not be so quick to serve him. Let him check his own oil. You're not his slave.
INT. GARAGE
Keith smiles. He reaches around behind him. He pulls Hardy's dipstick out of his belt. He smiles and tosses it in the trash. He picks up his tool and goes back to work under the Benz."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I also liked what Ebert wrote: This could've been a "standard Hughes teenager film," but "Hughes always gives his characters the right to be real."
Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)(undated draft)
Written and directed by John Hughes
WHAT: I read an old tweet by Eric Heisserer (full tweetstorm here):
Can we start to bring back action heroes who fail, lose fights, struggle with real issues, etc.? It can still be escapist action, too!WHERE: Where are these heroes? In scripts like Some Kind of Wonderful.
WHY: Roger Ebert explains:
Hardly ever do we get an American movie about adults who are attempting to know themselves better, live better lives, get along more happily with the people around them. Most American movies are about the giving and receiving of violent pain. That's why I look forward to John Hughes's films about American teenagers. His films are almost always about the problems of growing up and becoming a more complete person.....
[I]t is not about whether the hero will get the girl. It is about whether the hero should get the girl, and when was the last time you saw a movie that even knew that could be the question? (emphasis mine)HOW: How to do this? By characters stumbling, failing, and making bad choices, which exposes deeper issues or beliefs.
NOTES FOR THE EXAMPLE BELOW:
- When not in school, Keith works 20 hrs/wk at a gas station/car repair.
- Back in the day, a "full service" gas station attendant would pump your gas for you and check your oil.
- Hardy has pulled his car into the gas station, humiliated Keith in front of Amanda, and has just driven off.
- The interesting thing is not that Keith is fixated on Amanda, but WHY. Watch how talking with Drummer Girl starts to unearth faulty beliefs about himself.
ex. "INT. REPAIR BAY
Drummer Girl's seen everything. She'd like to kill Hardy. And possibly Amanda. Keith walks in.
DRUMMER GIRL: Keith? I watched that. It was sick. If that isn't the raw, bleeding truth about Amanda Jones, I don't know what is. You gotta forget her.
KEITH (defensive): It wasn't her. She didn't give me any shit.
DRUMMER GIRL: Why is she so important to you?
KEITH: Can't you stay out of it? You don't understand it. I can't explain it. I'm going nowhere and I'm going all alone.
DRUMMER GIRL: What about me?
CU. KEITH
He sighs.
KEITH: You're a friend. This is something else.
CU. DRUMMER GIRL
A slow, sad exhale. She nods. Not what she wanted to hear.
DRUMMER GIRL: Okay. (abrupt change of subject) Next time that jerk comes here, you better not be so quick to serve him. Let him check his own oil. You're not his slave.
INT. GARAGE
Keith smiles. He reaches around behind him. He pulls Hardy's dipstick out of his belt. He smiles and tosses it in the trash. He picks up his tool and goes back to work under the Benz."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I also liked what Ebert wrote: This could've been a "standard Hughes teenager film," but "Hughes always gives his characters the right to be real."
Some Kind of Wonderful (1987)(undated draft)
Written and directed by John Hughes
Monday, April 29, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986) - When the Protagonist Does Not Change
[Quick Summary: Ferris Bueller stays home "sick" from high school and has many adventures in Chicago with his best friend and girlfriend.]
PAST ME: "All protagonists must go through an arc, i.e., they change."
PRESENT ME: "Protagonists do not have to go through an arc."
PAST ME: "If protagonists do not arc, they are boring."
PRESENT ME: "If protagonists do not arc, they still can be interesting...but they must be MORE interesting than other characters who do arc."
This is tough on the writer.*
Ferris Bueller is an unusual script because its protagonist does not arc, yet he is still more interesting than the other characters who do arc.
I think one of the reasons is that Ferris is unpredictable and approaches every problem like it's a puzzle to be solved.**
ex. "INT. RESTAURANT
Cameron and Sloan have been served their lunches. They're staring at the plates.
CAMERON: What is it?
SLOANE: I don't know. But it looks like it's already been eaten and digested.
CAMERON: I knew it was a mistake letting Ferris order for us.
Ferris slides over to the table and drops into his seat.
FERRIS: What're you doing?
Cameron looks at Ferris.
CAMERON: What is this shit?
FERRIS: You got me. I don't speak French.
He puts his napkin in his lap and smells his plate.
FERRIS: I think it's a land-based beefoid creature.
He takes a bite. He savors the taste.
FERRIS: Splendid.
CAMERON: Really?
FERRIS: Superb.
Cameron and Sloan try theirs. They chew tentatively.
FERRIS: Good?
Sloane and Cameron shrug. It's not bad. A WAITER passes.
Ferris stops him.
FERRIS: Yo, Clouseau!
The waiter stops and looks at Ferris indignantly.
FERRIS: I have a growth on my brain that causes memory lapses. Could you tell me what we ordered here?
The waiter glances at the plates.
WAITER: Sweetbreads.
FERRIS: Uh, huh. And what might that be?
WAITER: Pancreas.
FERRIS: As in the gland that has important functions in digestion and metabolism?
CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON
They stop chewing. They're holding the sweetbreads in their mouths.
CU. FERRIS
He continues his questioning
FERRIS:..That secretes a thick, colorless fluid containing digestive enzymes? The home of the world famous isles of Langerhans?
CU. WAITER
He nods broadly, knowing that he's spoiling the kids' meal.
CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON
They look at each other.
CU. FERRIS
He pats his mouth with a napkin. He looks to Cameron and Sloane. He raises a finger, holds ita beat and gives a cue.
CU. WAITER
He turns away as Sloan and Cameron spit out their food.
CU. FERRIS
He watches Sloane and Cameron then glances at the waiter.
FERRIS: Check, please!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's hard enough to pull off well a character arc. It's a whole other level of difficulty to pull off well a character WITHOUT an arc.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)(shooting script, 7/24/85)
by John Hughes
*When I've covered scripts in which the protagonist does not arc, the minor characters (who do arc) almost always are more interesting to watch.
**Yes, you can see him learning from the new experiences, but it does not really change him.
PAST ME: "All protagonists must go through an arc, i.e., they change."
PRESENT ME: "Protagonists do not have to go through an arc."
PAST ME: "If protagonists do not arc, they are boring."
PRESENT ME: "If protagonists do not arc, they still can be interesting...but they must be MORE interesting than other characters who do arc."
This is tough on the writer.*
Ferris Bueller is an unusual script because its protagonist does not arc, yet he is still more interesting than the other characters who do arc.
I think one of the reasons is that Ferris is unpredictable and approaches every problem like it's a puzzle to be solved.**
ex. "INT. RESTAURANT
Cameron and Sloan have been served their lunches. They're staring at the plates.
CAMERON: What is it?
SLOANE: I don't know. But it looks like it's already been eaten and digested.
CAMERON: I knew it was a mistake letting Ferris order for us.
Ferris slides over to the table and drops into his seat.
FERRIS: What're you doing?
Cameron looks at Ferris.
CAMERON: What is this shit?
FERRIS: You got me. I don't speak French.
He puts his napkin in his lap and smells his plate.
FERRIS: I think it's a land-based beefoid creature.
He takes a bite. He savors the taste.
FERRIS: Splendid.
CAMERON: Really?
FERRIS: Superb.
Cameron and Sloan try theirs. They chew tentatively.
FERRIS: Good?
Sloane and Cameron shrug. It's not bad. A WAITER passes.
Ferris stops him.
FERRIS: Yo, Clouseau!
The waiter stops and looks at Ferris indignantly.
FERRIS: I have a growth on my brain that causes memory lapses. Could you tell me what we ordered here?
The waiter glances at the plates.
WAITER: Sweetbreads.
FERRIS: Uh, huh. And what might that be?
WAITER: Pancreas.
FERRIS: As in the gland that has important functions in digestion and metabolism?
CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON
They stop chewing. They're holding the sweetbreads in their mouths.
CU. FERRIS
He continues his questioning
FERRIS:..That secretes a thick, colorless fluid containing digestive enzymes? The home of the world famous isles of Langerhans?
CU. WAITER
He nods broadly, knowing that he's spoiling the kids' meal.
CU. SLOANE AND CAMERON
They look at each other.
CU. FERRIS
He pats his mouth with a napkin. He looks to Cameron and Sloane. He raises a finger, holds ita beat and gives a cue.
CU. WAITER
He turns away as Sloan and Cameron spit out their food.
CU. FERRIS
He watches Sloane and Cameron then glances at the waiter.
FERRIS: Check, please!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: It's hard enough to pull off well a character arc. It's a whole other level of difficulty to pull off well a character WITHOUT an arc.
Ferris Bueller's Day Off (1986)(shooting script, 7/24/85)
by John Hughes
*When I've covered scripts in which the protagonist does not arc, the minor characters (who do arc) almost always are more interesting to watch.
**Yes, you can see him learning from the new experiences, but it does not really change him.
Monday, April 22, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Pretty in Pink (1986) - Mean Girl Cattiness
[Quick Summary: Andie, 18 y.o., who is not rich, falls for Blane, a rich kid, much to the chagrin of Andie's old friend Duckie.]
Yes, I know that poor girl dating a rich guy is an "old, old, old" plot.
Yes, the story could've been more modernized.
However, the good things in the script far outweigh the bad things.
The way Hughes wrote about the way teens interacted in the 1980s is timeless.
For example, he nails the cattiness of the two mean girls in the scene below. They are caught being rude, and make it worse by rebuffing Andie's kind gesture.
NOTE:
- Andie is paying attention in class to the teacher. The rich girls whisper and gossip about Andie. The teacher stops teaching to ask what is going on.
ex. "ANDIE
She sinks in her seat. The teacher, rather than make it better, is making it worse.
ANDIE (to herself): Just shut up lady. Please.
TEACHER
She looks at Andie.
TEACHER: I apologize on behalf of my class.
ANDIE
She nods, just wishing everybody would forget her.
TEACHER
She does the unthinkable.
TEACHER: Ms. Trombley and Ms. Hanson will be thinking of you tonight... (to the class) ...as they analyze an extra sonnet.
THE TWO GIRLS
Their faces freeze.
ANDIE
She raises her hand.
ANDIE: Don't bother with the sonnets. Don't worry about it. Everything's cool.
Andie looks across at the girls.
THE GIRLS
They stare at Andie. One of them raises her hand.
GIRL: We'll take the sonnets.
She throws Andie an icy smile.
ANDIE
She returns it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Andie's maturity was seen in her response to the mean girls. She extended kindness to girls she didn't like, and when it was rebuffed, she didn't doubt herself.
Pretty in Pink (1986)(5th draft, 5/9/85)
by John Hughes
Yes, I know that poor girl dating a rich guy is an "old, old, old" plot.
Yes, the story could've been more modernized.
However, the good things in the script far outweigh the bad things.
The way Hughes wrote about the way teens interacted in the 1980s is timeless.
For example, he nails the cattiness of the two mean girls in the scene below. They are caught being rude, and make it worse by rebuffing Andie's kind gesture.
NOTE:
- Andie is paying attention in class to the teacher. The rich girls whisper and gossip about Andie. The teacher stops teaching to ask what is going on.
ex. "ANDIE
She sinks in her seat. The teacher, rather than make it better, is making it worse.
ANDIE (to herself): Just shut up lady. Please.
TEACHER
She looks at Andie.
TEACHER: I apologize on behalf of my class.
ANDIE
She nods, just wishing everybody would forget her.
TEACHER
She does the unthinkable.
TEACHER: Ms. Trombley and Ms. Hanson will be thinking of you tonight... (to the class) ...as they analyze an extra sonnet.
THE TWO GIRLS
Their faces freeze.
ANDIE
She raises her hand.
ANDIE: Don't bother with the sonnets. Don't worry about it. Everything's cool.
Andie looks across at the girls.
THE GIRLS
They stare at Andie. One of them raises her hand.
GIRL: We'll take the sonnets.
She throws Andie an icy smile.
ANDIE
She returns it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Andie's maturity was seen in her response to the mean girls. She extended kindness to girls she didn't like, and when it was rebuffed, she didn't doubt herself.
Pretty in Pink (1986)(5th draft, 5/9/85)
by John Hughes
Monday, April 15, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Breakfast Club (1985) - Changing the Tone to Reinforce Theme
[Quick Summary: During a Saturday detention, five unconnected high schoolers discover they have more in common than they thought.]
If you were alive in the 1980s, this was one of the "must see" films of the decade.*
(I think one reason is that Hughes portrays teens as they are: messy, opinionated, unvarnished, uncensored.)
I read two undated drafts, A (earlier) and B (later). They are the same story, but B is shorter and more polished.
I also thought B was the better draft because its tone reinforces the theme.
For example, I think one of the themes is about making unlikely friendships.
In Draft A (below), the tone is rather ironic and sad, i.e., divided and lonely.
In Draft B (below), the tone is more allied and upbeat, i.e., unified and together.
Which one reinforces friendship and feeling connected? Draft B.
DRAFT A (Earlier draft):
ex. "The kids continue laughing. Allison speaks up.
ALLISON: I can beat that.
The kids look at her.
ALLISON: You know what I did to get in here?
BRIAN: This should be classic!
The kids are anticipating a good laugh.
ALLISON: Nothing. (pause) I didn't have anything better to do today.
There's no laughter. Just incredulous stares and silence."
DRAFT B (Later draft):
ex. "Andrew starts to laugh.
BRIAN: It's not funny...
They all start to laugh, including Brian.
BRIAN: Yes it is...fuckin' elephant was destroyed.
ALLISON: You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do.
Everyone laughs.
ALLISON: You're laughing at me...
ANDREW: No!
Allison starts to laugh too.
ALLISON: Yeah you are!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised how very few words were changed between Draft A and B, but the tone was completely different.
Breakfast Club (1985)(undated, "Draft B" noted above)
by John Hughes
*As a side note, the Library of Congress' entered it into the National Film Registry in 2016. These are films that important for "their cultural, historic and aesthetic importance to the nation’s film heritage."
If you were alive in the 1980s, this was one of the "must see" films of the decade.*
(I think one reason is that Hughes portrays teens as they are: messy, opinionated, unvarnished, uncensored.)
I read two undated drafts, A (earlier) and B (later). They are the same story, but B is shorter and more polished.
I also thought B was the better draft because its tone reinforces the theme.
For example, I think one of the themes is about making unlikely friendships.
In Draft A (below), the tone is rather ironic and sad, i.e., divided and lonely.
In Draft B (below), the tone is more allied and upbeat, i.e., unified and together.
Which one reinforces friendship and feeling connected? Draft B.
DRAFT A (Earlier draft):
ex. "The kids continue laughing. Allison speaks up.
ALLISON: I can beat that.
The kids look at her.
ALLISON: You know what I did to get in here?
BRIAN: This should be classic!
The kids are anticipating a good laugh.
ALLISON: Nothing. (pause) I didn't have anything better to do today.
There's no laughter. Just incredulous stares and silence."
DRAFT B (Later draft):
ex. "Andrew starts to laugh.
BRIAN: It's not funny...
They all start to laugh, including Brian.
BRIAN: Yes it is...fuckin' elephant was destroyed.
ALLISON: You wanna know what I did to get in here? Nothing...I didn't have anything better to do.
Everyone laughs.
ALLISON: You're laughing at me...
ANDREW: No!
Allison starts to laugh too.
ALLISON: Yeah you are!"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was surprised how very few words were changed between Draft A and B, but the tone was completely different.
Breakfast Club (1985)(undated, "Draft B" noted above)
by John Hughes
*As a side note, the Library of Congress' entered it into the National Film Registry in 2016. These are films that important for "their cultural, historic and aesthetic importance to the nation’s film heritage."
Monday, April 8, 2019
TODAY'S NUGGET: Only When I Laugh (1981) - Showing Disappointment with Non-Verbals
[Quick Summary: An actress, newly out of rehab, struggles to manage her sobriety, her daughter, and seeking a new job.]
I think the genius of Neil Simon scripts is that it looks simple on the surface.
However, the structure and conflict has great depth and complexity.
For example, the scene below is about:
- a long standing disappointment
- the external and internal conflicts that one feels
- use of non-verbals
First, note that each character has his or her own INTERNAL conflict:
- For Georgia, who has just fallen off the wagon: disappointment in herself.
- For her friend Jimmy: feeling let down by his faith in her temporary sobriety.
Then, note that there is also another layer of EXTERNAL conflict between them:
- For Georgia: guilt, needing reassurance from someone that she's offended.
- For Jimmy: irritation at her repeated offenses and love
Finally, the audience understands all of this through one character not looking at the other character, silence, a hand squeeze.
ex. "INT. TAXI - NIGHT
Jimmy and Georgia sitting on opposite sides, looking out opposite windows, wordlessly.
GEORGIA: ...I think I fucked up, didn't I?
Jimmy doesn't say a word. She looks toward him.
GEORGIA: Give me your hand...Jimmy? Give me your hand... I'm cold.
He doesn't look at her but reaches over and puts his hand on top of hers and gently squeezes it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that so much disappointment could be conveyed by Jimmy's non-verbals.
Only When I Laugh (1981)(3rd draft (July, 1980))
by Neil Simon
Based on his play, "The Gingerbread Lady"
I think the genius of Neil Simon scripts is that it looks simple on the surface.
However, the structure and conflict has great depth and complexity.
For example, the scene below is about:
- a long standing disappointment
- the external and internal conflicts that one feels
- use of non-verbals
First, note that each character has his or her own INTERNAL conflict:
- For Georgia, who has just fallen off the wagon: disappointment in herself.
- For her friend Jimmy: feeling let down by his faith in her temporary sobriety.
Then, note that there is also another layer of EXTERNAL conflict between them:
- For Georgia: guilt, needing reassurance from someone that she's offended.
- For Jimmy: irritation at her repeated offenses and love
Finally, the audience understands all of this through one character not looking at the other character, silence, a hand squeeze.
ex. "INT. TAXI - NIGHT
Jimmy and Georgia sitting on opposite sides, looking out opposite windows, wordlessly.
GEORGIA: ...I think I fucked up, didn't I?
Jimmy doesn't say a word. She looks toward him.
GEORGIA: Give me your hand...Jimmy? Give me your hand... I'm cold.
He doesn't look at her but reaches over and puts his hand on top of hers and gently squeezes it."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I was impressed that so much disappointment could be conveyed by Jimmy's non-verbals.
Only When I Laugh (1981)(3rd draft (July, 1980))
by Neil Simon
Based on his play, "The Gingerbread Lady"
Monday, April 1, 2019
2019 OSCARS: A Star is Born (2018) - One Intent Per Scene
[Quick Summary: Superstar Jackson Maine meets Ally, a promising singer.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) It reads fast. I was not excited to read a 137 pg. script.
However, it is reads fast and the scenes are clear.
2) One intent per scene. I also think it reads quickly because it does not try to do too much, i.e., it sticks to one intent per scene, rather several.
In the scene below: Note that it seems long on the page at first glance.
However, it will read fast because it is all one thought.
ex. "INT. BILTMORE HOTEL - BATHROOM - WIDE SHOT - DAY
PAN ALONG the bottom of a number of stalls. The bathroom seemingly empty... Until we hear a HUSHED VOICE and see two feet in heels in a stall down at the end.
ALLY (O.S.)(into phone): Roger...You're a wonderful man, yes, and you're a great lawyer. We're ust not meant to be together.
ANOTHER ANGLE - INSIDE THE STALL
ALLY CAMPANA, (early 30s) is on her cell phone.
ALLY (into phone): No, I don't wanna marry you -- are you crazy?!? The hell's the matter with you? Roger, we're done. Oh, God.
She hangs up, opens the door to the stall, and screams bloody murder.
ALLY: Fucking men!
She pulls herself together."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the intent of a scene crisp and clear. Don't overload a scene with too many ideas. A short script with half-baked ideas is just as bad.
A Star is Born (2018)(final, 10/5/18)
by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters
Based on the 1954 screenplay by Moss Hart and the 1976 screenplay by John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion and Frank Pierson
Based on a story by William Wellman and Robert Carson
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) It reads fast. I was not excited to read a 137 pg. script.
However, it is reads fast and the scenes are clear.
2) One intent per scene. I also think it reads quickly because it does not try to do too much, i.e., it sticks to one intent per scene, rather several.
In the scene below: Note that it seems long on the page at first glance.
However, it will read fast because it is all one thought.
ex. "INT. BILTMORE HOTEL - BATHROOM - WIDE SHOT - DAY
PAN ALONG the bottom of a number of stalls. The bathroom seemingly empty... Until we hear a HUSHED VOICE and see two feet in heels in a stall down at the end.
ALLY (O.S.)(into phone): Roger...You're a wonderful man, yes, and you're a great lawyer. We're ust not meant to be together.
ANOTHER ANGLE - INSIDE THE STALL
ALLY CAMPANA, (early 30s) is on her cell phone.
ALLY (into phone): No, I don't wanna marry you -- are you crazy?!? The hell's the matter with you? Roger, we're done. Oh, God.
She hangs up, opens the door to the stall, and screams bloody murder.
ALLY: Fucking men!
She pulls herself together."
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: Keep the intent of a scene crisp and clear. Don't overload a scene with too many ideas. A short script with half-baked ideas is just as bad.
A Star is Born (2018)(final, 10/5/18)
by Eric Roth and Bradley Cooper & Will Fetters
Based on the 1954 screenplay by Moss Hart and the 1976 screenplay by John Gregory Dunne & Joan Didion and Frank Pierson
Based on a story by William Wellman and Robert Carson
Monday, March 25, 2019
2019 OSCARS: If Beale Street Could Talk (2018) - Six Women; Releasing the Tension
[Quick Summary: In Harlem, Tish, 18, and her family come together to get Fonny, 21, Tish's fiancee, out of jail for an unjust incarceration.]
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) "[T]hese six women alone now in this house." I thought that this was a nice, simple way to explain the tone shift to come, i.e., how women speak to each other when men are not around.
2) Releasing the tension. There is a very tense scene in an Italian grocery store:
- Tish is felt up by an Italian punk and slaps him.
- Fonny runs into the store.
- A policeman accuses Fonny but Tish speaks up to defend him.
- The Italian owner confirms Tish's version.
- Fonny barely says anything at all.
In the next scene, we see the release of all the tension.
Also, I liked that there were two very different viewpoints: Fonny felt emasculated, but Tish had no idea that her actions were contributing to it.
ex. "EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT - MOVING
Tish and Fonny moving quietly down the sidewalk.
Fonny holds the bag of tomatoes in the crook of one hand; the other arm he entwines through Tish's. They walk slowly.
FONNY: Tish...
TISH: Yes?
FONNY: Don't ever try to protect me.
TISH: But you were trying to protect me.
FONNY (heavy;quiet): It's not......the same......thing.
Fonny takes the bag of tomatoes...and smashes them against the nearest wall. They make a beautiful, chiaroscuro mess of streaking red. But, mercifully, they hardly make a sound.
The two of them standing apart now, Fonny with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, disgusted.
Tish with a hand covering his mouth, the other wrapped about herself. Fonny closing the space, takes her hand in his:
FONNY: Don't think I don't know you love me. You believe we going to make it?
Tish embracing him, a hand to his cheek, a very full kiss.
She draws back, starts to say something, but...he puts a finger to her lips. Smiles his little smile.
FONNY: Don't say a word. I'm going to take you out to dinner. At our Spanish place, you remember?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Scene A plays --> Scene B releases the tension --> Scene B reveals a different interpretation of Scene A.
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)
Written for the screen and directed by Barry Jenkins
Based on the book by James Baldwin
TWO THINGS THAT THIS SCRIPT DOES WELL:
1) "[T]hese six women alone now in this house." I thought that this was a nice, simple way to explain the tone shift to come, i.e., how women speak to each other when men are not around.
2) Releasing the tension. There is a very tense scene in an Italian grocery store:
- Tish is felt up by an Italian punk and slaps him.
- Fonny runs into the store.
- A policeman accuses Fonny but Tish speaks up to defend him.
- The Italian owner confirms Tish's version.
- Fonny barely says anything at all.
In the next scene, we see the release of all the tension.
Also, I liked that there were two very different viewpoints: Fonny felt emasculated, but Tish had no idea that her actions were contributing to it.
ex. "EXT. BLEECKER STREET - NIGHT - MOVING
Tish and Fonny moving quietly down the sidewalk.
Fonny holds the bag of tomatoes in the crook of one hand; the other arm he entwines through Tish's. They walk slowly.
FONNY: Tish...
TISH: Yes?
FONNY: Don't ever try to protect me.
TISH: But you were trying to protect me.
FONNY (heavy;quiet): It's not......the same......thing.
Fonny takes the bag of tomatoes...and smashes them against the nearest wall. They make a beautiful, chiaroscuro mess of streaking red. But, mercifully, they hardly make a sound.
The two of them standing apart now, Fonny with his hands in his pockets, looking down at his feet, disgusted.
Tish with a hand covering his mouth, the other wrapped about herself. Fonny closing the space, takes her hand in his:
FONNY: Don't think I don't know you love me. You believe we going to make it?
Tish embracing him, a hand to his cheek, a very full kiss.
She draws back, starts to say something, but...he puts a finger to her lips. Smiles his little smile.
FONNY: Don't say a word. I'm going to take you out to dinner. At our Spanish place, you remember?"
WHAT I'VE LEARNED: I liked how Scene A plays --> Scene B releases the tension --> Scene B reveals a different interpretation of Scene A.
If Beale Street Could Talk (2018)
Written for the screen and directed by Barry Jenkins
Based on the book by James Baldwin
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